Relationships after having a baby.

I have been in a relationship for 15 months now with my sons father. My son is 3 weeks on Monday. Our relationship seems like it's not even there anymore.. We have no time together, but I guess that it doesn't help that he lives 2 hours away and we only see eachother once or twice every weekened. It seems like we're becoming further apart. It kind of seems like he's jealous 95% of my attention is on our baby.. I don't know if this is normal or not for first time fathers. He doesn't seem "connected" to our boy. He rarely holds him, or plays with him, NEVER changes his diaper or burps him. I'm not sure if he's not doing anything because he doesn't know what he's doing.. lol, but I feel like he's not trying..

Ugh, is this normal? and has anyone else experience this with their s/o's?

At what point does he plan on actually being a father and living with you and his child?

Yeah at first me and SO didn't really have time together. We felt so distant because all my attention went to the baby. He at first did things then started to not really I don't know why. Now I just ask him to feed her or whatever and he does. He doesn't change diapers, mainly because he won't do it right and it doesn't bother me. But if it did he would. Its normal I would say, you have to learn to make time for eachother. My daugther is 9 weeks, since about a week ago I started to put her to bed around 8 and she sleeps till 1. Then it gives me and SO time to hangout. Before she would just be up all night and when we went to sleep then I would put her to bed. Now this way its better because she is asleep and we have time to hangout and not just be taking care of her. You said your SO lives 2 hours away though so it may be harder. But just make sure to make time for you guys to still have for eachother, its sort of hard when there 3 weeks you need to attend to them more. but once hes a bit older like 2 months youll be able to put him to sleep at a certain time and he will sleep for a few hours giving you time for yourself and SO.

Quoting Red Bottom:" At what point does he plan on actually being a father and living with you and his child?"

I'm living with my mom right now because he's leaving in a week or couple months overseas for the military and he'll be gone 6 months to a year..

Quoting Justine's Mama:" Yeah at first me and SO didn't really have time together. We felt so distant because all my attention ... [snip!] ... youll be able to put him to sleep at a certain time and he will sleep for a few hours giving you time for yourself and SO."

UGH, i'm so frusterated with everything   I guess he could help more if I was bottle feeding.. Whenever my son's up he's eating, and then sleeping right after lol. I guess it's just harder for guys to realize all your time/attention has to go to baby.

You're lucky your girl sleeps that long! Mine is up every 2 hours lol

my dh wasnt comfortable w/newborns untill after we had our 3rd baby. He was always afraid to even hold them untill they were about 6wks old and had some control over their head and neck. Its very normal for men not to know how to act or help with babies when they are very small.

Quoting 6 blessings so far....:" my dh wasnt comfortable w/newborns untill after we had our 3rd baby. He was always afraid to even hold ... [snip!] ... control over their head and neck. Its very normal for men not to know how to act or help with babies when they are very small."

Men should know what to do when us women know what to do lol.. It's my first baby as well as his first

Quoting Marissa- k&k are my life:" UGH, i'm so frusterated with everything   I guess he could help more if I was bottle feeding.. Whenever ... [snip!] ... to realize all your time/attention has to go to baby. You're lucky your girl sleeps that long! Mine is up every 2 hours lol"

Yeah its harder if you breast feed then they can't feed. But you can ask them to help you with other things ya know. And no they don't understand that the babies need our attention non stop except for if there sleeping. And I am not lucky hahah when she came home from the hospital she was awake every two hours also. And she had this thing were at like 1 am she would wake up and stay up until 5 am I was so exhausted she did non stop the first month of her life. And then she would sleep all day it was so hard. She slept better during the day and was awake all night. Just know once baby is a bit older around 2 months they will sleep better. So don't worry it won't be like that for ever. The sleeping stuff sucks at first but it changes. Best advice is to sleep when they sleep so your not tired. I use to try to do things when she slept then I got smart and said forget the cleaning and crap and started to sleep.

Quoting Marissa- k&k are my life:" Men should know what to do when us women know what to do lol.. It's my first baby as well as his first"

mentally they know ''what'' needs to be done but usually not how to attempt the task in a delicate manner w/such a small baby (anxiety prevents them from trying) Besides male and female mammals have different natural instincts. U wont find a male dog trying to nurse a puppy,lol  

Quoting Justine's Mama:" Yeah its harder if you breast feed then they can't feed. But you can ask them to help you with other ... [snip!] ... tired. I use to try to do things when she slept then I got smart and said forget the cleaning and crap and started to sleep."

Men just think their part is to work lol.. The only thing s/o is good with is giving us money ha. Ahh, Kallum does that too! He'll wake up at 3am til 5am and if I put him down he'll start crying. He won't even sleep in his bassinet! It's so hard for me too sleep during the day though, so i'm always exhausted at night.

Quoting 6 blessings so far....:" mentally they know ''what'' needs to be done but usually not how to attempt the task in a delicate manner ... [snip!] ... Besides male and female mammals have different natural instincts. U wont find a male dog trying to nurse a puppy,lol   "

Ya, VERY true!

Quoting Marissa- k&k are my life:" Men just think their part is to work lol.. The only thing s/o is good with is giving us money ha. Ahh, ... [snip!] ... He won't even sleep in his bassinet! It's so hard for me too sleep during the day though, so i'm always exhausted at night."

i see your SO will be leaving for the military.....mabe he is purposely distancing himself now so that leaving wont be as tramatic.

Quoting 6 blessings so far....:" i see your SO will be leaving for the military.....mabe he is purposely distancing himself now so that leaving wont be as tramatic."

That's what my mom was thinking, but I don't understand

<blockquote><b>Quoting Marissa- k&k are my life:</b>" I'm living with my mom right now because he's leaving in a week or couple months overseas for the military and he'll be gone 6 months to a year.."</blockquote>




Frankly it seems like he's a lazy bastard with no intention of helping you, and has somehow brainwashed you into thinking the problem is YOU for taking care if his baby 24/7 alone.

When he cold have married you, provided for all 3 if you, live with all of you, and give your baby healthcare.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Marissa- k&k are my life:</b>" UGH, i'm so frusterated with everything   I guess he could help more if I was bottle feeding.. Whenever ... [snip!] ... to realize all your time/attention has to go to baby. You're lucky your girl sleeps that long! Mine is up every 2 hours lol"</blockquote>




How? He's not there anyways.