re: Porn problem. What to do...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Blair B:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Smokey_Taboo:</b>" I was the same way, I was having a hard ... [snip!] ... I agree with you. And that's exactly how I feel also when having sex with him I feel like he's just thinking about porn!"</blockquote>



SO and I were going through his dad's old things the other day and found a stack of hardcore porn magazines. SO and I sat there together and flipped through them all. It was actually quite fun.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ƒideℓis ϟ:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Blair B:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jennybananna:</b>" ... [snip!] ... me but not to porn"</blockquote> Well make a sex tape so he has something to watch. You sound a little insecure tbh."</blockquote>




I'm not guna lie I prob am insecure...

Quoting Minion:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Vodka Knockers:</b>" I take my husband to strip clubs. It's ... [snip!] ... I totally want to go to a strip club with SO, but he always turns it down! I thought all dudes love strip clubs lol!"

Honestly, it's so much fun.
The last time we went, one of my friend's that we brought along ended up getting a job at the club haha. She kept asking me to come see her perform but I felt like having my friend's twat in my face might make things a little weird, KWIM?
We've always had a blast. The performers are always super nice too. I actually saw my favorite gal at Wal-Mart and she stopped to talk to me before her two kids started tearing smurf up haha, she's fun.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Vodka Knockers:</b>" Honestly, it's so much fun. The last time we went, one of my friend's that we brought along ended up ... [snip!] ... saw my favorite gal at Wal-Mart and she stopped to talk to me before her two kids started tearing smurf up haha, she's fun."</blockquote>


It sounds fun!

Quoting Blair B:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jennybananna:</b>" I would bet money that he probably does. ... [snip!] ... done most guys (and people) need a visual. "</blockquote> I'm okay with him masterbating if its to me but not to porn"

And what if you arent there .No reason to punish him for your insecurities its something you should really work on.

Quoting Blair B:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Smokey_Taboo:</b>" I was the same way, I was having a hard ... [snip!] ... I agree with you. And that's exactly how I feel also when having sex with him I feel like he's just thinking about porn!"

Honestly most times your so is probably just thinking about you..
What I was saying is he was spending his time there infront of the computer, but when he is in the bedroom with me he was always really focused on me I have always known that his mind wasnt off thinking about what video he watched earlier me on the other hand I have had a harder time being present.. I think maybe thats why I dont stress to much now about its like if Im on my period for longer then I thought it would be I dont get insecure if he decided to watch porn one night. Im sure that when you are your man are together he is thinking about you, If he isnt honest and open about it thats a whole different story.

Quoting Blair B:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jennybananna:</b>" Then you should work on that not freak out ... [snip!] ... open communication about all needs. "</blockquote> I would be so mad if I found out he watched it behind my back..."

So he needs to tell you every time he wants to masturbate? That's kind of.... sad.

<blockquote><b>Quoting FroggysMommy:</b>" So he needs to tell you every time he wants to masturbate? That's kind of.... sad."</blockquote>


That's so awkward.

My SO was like that when we first started dating. It was an honest addictive and a big turn off so I talked to him about it and he stopped. We haven't had a problem since! Unless he's been hiding it well, haha.

This reminds me of few months ago when me and SO switched to a new smart phones. One night he had a hard time forwarding a picture message to my phone so I said ok let me figure it out for you as I was about to take his phone from his hand, he grabbed it and he was a bit pissy and said to me "give me my phone back"...so I was like ok what the hell! And he even hid his phone inside his jammies pocket that night. I got very suspicious so when he went to sleep, I took his phone out of his pocket and started surfing (yeah, I snooped but can you blame me?)..I found a few links of porn sites and porn videos that he saved. I put his phone on our kitchen counter instead of returning it on his pocket so I'm sure he knew that I check it. The following night he just left his phone on the counter. After he went to bed I check (or snooped) on his phone again and all the porn thing was gone. I don't know if he is still watching porn on his phone coz most of the time the history were all erased.

I'm a huge proponent of porn and don't mind if my husband watches it (and he does) but even I think this is a bit excessive and the Tweeting porn stars thing is kind out of line if only because he's actually talking to women he's jerking it to (sorry to be crude).

You said he got defensive when you asked about it, yeah? Try to sit him down without the phones anywhere near by. Tell him you don't want to argue and you're not about to talk down to him. Ask him to just please listen to what you have to say and then let him know he can respond with whatever he wants to say. Tell him that you are already feeling insecure to begin with but this is making it much worse and it has gotten to the point where it is hurting your feelings. Also tell him you're worried about the amount he's looking at porn. If he's turning down sex in favor of watching porn all day there is definitely something wrong. Chances are he'll get defensive about it but at least establish the fact that you have a problem with this and it's hurting you. Ask him if there's any kind of compromise the two of you can reach... Maybe ask him if you guys can watch some porn together and then have sex? Or even ask if he can go just one day without looking at porn. If he can't then there's something wrong there. Maybe he's just really nervous about becoming a father and he's trying to distract himself. If that's the case the best thing you an do is get him talking about it. Ask him how he's feeling, what he wants from your relationship, if there's anything bothering him, etc.

Good luck.

I'm mobile so I just skimmed through the thread but I'm assuming your bf is around your age. All young men like porn for the most part. When I got my laptop SO would constantly watch porn, the newness of watching free porn work off after a month   I would talk to him & tell him how you feel

<blockquote><b>Quoting FroggysMommy:</b>" So he needs to tell you every time he wants to masturbate? That's kind of.... sad."</blockquote>




No!. I don't even wana know when he does that

<blockquote><b>Quoting M walls:</b>" I'm mobile so I just skimmed through the thread but I'm assuming your bf is around your age. All young ... [snip!] ... constantly watch porn, the newness of watching free porn work off after a month   I would talk to him & tell him how you feel"</blockquote>
No, he's almost twice her age.

Quoting M walls:" I'm mobile so I just skimmed through the thread but I'm assuming your bf is around your age. All young ... [snip!] ... constantly watch porn, the newness of watching free porn work off after a month   I would talk to him & tell him how you feel"

He's older and his behavior is not normal. Simply watching porn and interacting with other women is not the same thing.