Difference in parenting styles D&D

I saw this on a pro-bf page and was curious what everyone thought. Do you think spanking a 2 year old for crying is abusive/wrong? Do you think it's wrong that the husband left or was he well within his rights since they couldn't agree? If you and your SO don't agree on parenting stuff, how do you compromise?

I don't have a so but I also don't spank. To each their own. I don't see it as abusive though.

Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:" I don't have a so but I also don't spank. To each their own. I don't see it as abusive though. "

Even with the LO being so young and not doing anything wrong? I would not consider crying a reason to spank.

I think spanking in general is wrong and 5 times is excessive no matter what the age is.
And how you plan to parent should really be something you discuss BEFORE having children.

Quoting Jude ♥ JGL:" Even with the LO being so young and not doing anything wrong? I would not consider crying a reason to spank."

Objecting to going to sleep/bed is wrong. And 2 you can use time out so why couldn't you use spanking? If my kids refuse to go to bed they get all their toys taken away for a day. They are 2 and almost 4.

They have much bigger problems than differing on parenting styles.
They aren't partners, it seems.

And no, hitting a 2 yo because of upset over bedtime antics isn't ever a solution.

If it's been done FIVE times it's obviously not working and is getting to a ridiculous point.
I am anti-spanking, luckily so is my SO as he was spanked as a child and is not 'just fine'.

Sometimes kids don't want to sleep. They know their bodies better than we assume we do sometimes, and the fact that he's trying to communicate to them doesn't warrant a spank or discipline IMO.

Buuuut that's not what this is about. I'm not sure if I would leave over it. I would present my SO with research and books about why I am so set on my way. I would try to find a common ground. If I truly felt like my child was in danger because of the physical punishment (which I would) then I may well consider leaving.

I spank but i wouldn't spank a 2 year old for crying and not going to sleep, and i sure wouldn't do it 5 times. Since the husband left they're probably better off, and if DH and i didn't agree on parenting then we wouldn't of had kids. This was something we talked about long before we even had kids.

Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:" Objecting to going to sleep/bed is wrong. And 2 you can use time out so why couldn't you use spanking? ... [snip!] ... you use spanking? If my kids refuse to go to bed they get all their toys taken away for a day. They are 2 and almost 4. "

Oh yikes. We don't punish LO for not sleeping. If he doesn't want to go to bed, he doesn't have to. Who am I to say if he's tired or not? I don't go to sleep every night at the same time and neither does DH so why should LO?

I think 5 times is a little excessive for a kid who is crying.

I usually just threaten my daughter and tell her if she wants a real reason to cry I would be happy to give her one. (I don't even know what that means, but the threat seems to work).

As far as disagreeing on ways of parenting. The little things can always be compromised.. As far as physical punishment though? That is not a little thing. Some people see it as abuse where as others see it as discipline. When people are stuck in their ways on what they believe to be right and wrong, it's rather hard to compromise. In the future, it can lead the child to confusion if a middle ground is not met.

My 2 year old has been climbing out of his bed 3-4 times after I lay him down. Its like a new phase. I sure as hell wouldn't spank him for it. That's smurfing stupid. If my husband left me over something like that, oh well. I wouldn't want to be with a fool who is willing to end our marriage over refusing to spank.

I think that is wrong! I mean I spank my son... not often, but.. I still spank. I think it needed to be talked about BEFORE having kids.

I view all spanking as abusive. I don't know if divorcing will make a difference b/c when the Dad has the kid, he'll probably still spank the kid.
People really must discuss this prior to getting married!

Quoting ღ.ღ.ღ:" I spank but i wouldn't spank a 2 year old for crying and not going to sleep, and i sure wouldn't do it ... [snip!] ... and i didn't agree on parenting then we wouldn't of had kids. This was something we talked about long before we even had kids."

It can change when the kids are actually here though. Maybe they DID decide on no spanking but then parenting was a lot more difficult than they believed.

I don't spank and don't plan on it.

I don't know if I think it is abuse to spank a child just for crying but I think it is wrong and pointless since often we don't know whats wrong that caused them to cry but I would not allow it to be done to my children, even if I did spank.

I feel like it would just teach them crying is wrong and that isn't a healthy thing to learn.