re: Difference in parenting styles D&D

Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:" Objecting to going to sleep/bed is wrong. And 2 you can use time out so why couldn't you use spanking? ... [snip!] ... you use spanking? If my kids refuse to go to bed they get all their toys taken away for a day. They are 2 and almost 4. "

Objecting to going to sleep/bed is typical of a toddler's need to test boundaries. There are much more effective ways to get the point across that the child needs to go bed at the designated time.

Quoting Jude ♥ JGL:" Oh yikes. We don't punish LO for not sleeping. If he doesn't want to go to bed, he doesn't have to. ... [snip!] ... Who am I to say if he's tired or not? I don't go to sleep every night at the same time and neither does DH so why should LO?"

Yea we have a schedule. I don't have time to not have a schedule. I have stuff I have to get done and I was working at 6 am. There is no way I could be up till 4 with a kid that doesn't want to go to sleep nor could my preschooler be up that late and be expected to behave at school. We all function better on a schedule at my house.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Saffy Sly:</b>" I think spanking in general is wrong and 5 times is excessive no matter what the age is. And how you plan to parent should really be something you discuss BEFORE having children."</blockquote>




This. SO had kids from a previous marriage so I not only had a chance to discuss parenting styles, but also see how he really handled his kids.

Quoting Jude ♥ JGL:" It can change when the kids are actually here though. Maybe they DID decide on no spanking but then parenting was a lot more difficult than they believed."

Or maybe the child came as a surprise?

Even so, before we had our DD and even when she was a newb SO was set on CIO... we're still co-sleeping at age 2 and he loves it  

Quoting Saffy Sly:" Objecting to going to sleep/bed is typical of a toddler's need to test boundaries. There are much more effective ways to get the point across that the child needs to go bed at the designated time."

I agree!

Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:" Yea we have a schedule. I don't have time to not have a schedule. I have stuff I have to get done and ... [snip!] ... could my preschooler be up that late and be expected to behave at school. We all function better on a schedule at my house. "

I just think that's such a trivial thing to punish over. And it definitely seems excessive to me. DH works 2:30-11 pm. If we were on an earlier schedule,I would never be able to sleep or see DH.

Quoting Saffy Sly:" Objecting to going to sleep/bed is typical of a toddler's need to test boundaries. There are much more effective ways to get the point across that the child needs to go bed at the designated time."

Yea my kids don't get leeway. Who am I to judge somebody else's parenting though. At least he isn't hitting the kid upside the head and knocking them down on concrete and calling them a little bitch. Or telling them to start walking back to their grandma's.

i'm all for spanking in the right situations, but spanking a kid just because they're crying is wrong. not only will it teach them that crying is not okay, but it just makes them cry more. idk how anyone can spank a child for crying and expect them to stop.

Quoting Sofia's Mummy♥:" Or maybe the child came as a surprise? Even so, before we had our DD and even when she was a newb SO was set on CIO... we're still co-sleeping at age 2 and he loves it  "

We still co-sleep at age 3 and love it! I'd rather sleep with LO than DH but that's an entirely different story.

Quoting Jude ♥ JGL:" Oh yikes. We don't punish LO for not sleeping. If he doesn't want to go to bed, he doesn't have to. ... [snip!] ... Who am I to say if he's tired or not? I don't go to sleep every night at the same time and neither does DH so why should LO?"

See, that wouldn't work in my house. If its bedtime, its bedtime. They don't have to go to sleep but they need to be in their beds. Sometimes my daughter will play quietly in her room until she's feeling tired. She'll turn her light off and go to bed. My son is being difficult lately but he use to just lay in bed with his V Reader until he zonked out.

Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:" Yea my kids don't get leeway. Who am I to judge somebody else's parenting though. At least he isn't ... [snip!] ... and knocking them down on concrete and calling them a little bitch. Or telling them to start walking back to their grandma's. "

Mine don't either. When I say it's time to go to bed at 8pm, it's time to go to bed at 8pm. But I don't punish my toddler for being a toddler; that's ridiculous.

That poor child! What a horrible reason to spank a kid.

Quoting Jude ♥ JGL:" I just think that's such a trivial thing to punish over. And it definitely seems excessive to me. DH works 2:30-11 pm. If we were on an earlier schedule,I would never be able to sleep or see DH."

Its not trivial when almost get fired for going to work on 0 sleep. Everybody's safety vs. letting kids run wild? I don't have anybody else to help though too so I guess that does make a difference.

Quoting Saffy Sly:" Mine don't either. When I say it's time to go to bed at 8pm, it's time to go to bed at 8pm. But I don't punish my toddler for being a toddler; that's ridiculous."

Ehhh usually if they are up out of bed it is for getting their toys out anyways which isn't the point of going to bed. So they are taken away for a day, not like they even really notice since we are rarely in the house.

I think spanking is wrong period.

But if someone insists on it, it shouldn't be done any younger than 4. And not more than one swat. 5X is excessive. Especially on a kid who likely doesn't understand.