first birthday and baby shower....

So I am one of those parents that thinks that first birthdays are more for parents than for the LO ...call me evil but giving your kid a cupcake or tiny cake for themselves and just making the day special and about them is adequoet and doesent need twenty other babies there and a million balloons and bouncy house etc. which if you do that for you LO thats great just not what I personally want to do...well being pregnant now and knowing my baby shower or LOs first birthday wont have a ton of relatives and presents etc. I wanted to combine them and make DS birthday a special day for him the cake and mabe take him to his fave place to spend the day but also kind of make it a big boy or big brother graduation thing and combine a baby shower since its just me and DH mabe a grandma or aunt etc. if we get lucky and can have it away from home which I would like for DS ....I think it would be great since second baby showers that I have seen end up being about the baby that is already there alot when they are so close together like mine so I kind of wanted it to be all about LO while having everyone together and also kind of introducing the idea to him that he is gonna be a big brother since he is so young I didnt think it a big deal to push on him at the moment but at that time baby will be very close to coming and DS will be old enough to get the idea that something is going on so when introducing the word big brother to him I want it to be a great thing and something to get excited about and he gets a birthday too which is already all about him anyway ...I suggested this to a friend who said it was a horrible idea it takes away all the first birthday fun to him and I need to quit trying to save money and have seperate events for each baby knowing it would be a waste to have a baby shower at that rate since it would be so small and probably just a dinner with a friend who gives me diapers...Also it would confuse him about his birthday and the LO and he might think he needs to be rewarded for being a big brother and along that train of thought which I understand but hey guess what I dont have a ton of money and dont think that LO will make it all bad like that if anything I dont think he will care just be glad he gets sweets and loads of attention and presents for him and getting to hear a new word with lots of postive attention from friends and family about it I just dont see how it can instantly turn bad like that...have any of you other mothers done this idea as well or do you agree could it end up very bad and I just need to suck it up and have just LO bday and a dinner out as my bshower and work on the big brother thing whenever the new baby comes...

I think combining it would be a great thing. lol

I agree about the first bday. I had all these wild plans for this lo, but decided to do what I usually do (with my older kids on their 1st) and just plain and simple.

No babies have ever been invited since I know no one with babies (at any of my kids 1st bday) lol just grandparents and siblings, my aunt and her kids they are 11 and 14. My best friend her 7 yr old dd and my other 2 kids, and the other grandparents and her dad. Thats it. Seems like a lot, but its just family.

I am doing a homemade cake for her to smash and having a cake made for 30 of minnie mouse, some food and thats it. I gave her, her bday gift yesterday (Bday is not till feb 4th) but I bought her a baby sled with wind cover. lol

But I say go for it, it sounds great.

Quoting crazy coupon lady:" I think combining it would be a great thing. lol I agree about the first bday. I had all these wild ... [snip!] ... (Bday is not till feb 4th) but I bought her a baby sled with wind cover. lol But I say go for it, it sounds great."

lol and clearly this works find for your kids not having it be a crack filled day with other kids seizure inducing lights and they are turning freaking ONE yes the days needs to be special but beyond that I dont think its traumatizing to make the baby shower on the same event as LOs bday cause guess what its still all about him anyway being a big brother he will be one how spoiled can he get from one event hell I will be proud if he can remember the words big brother the next day after his sugar coma from the cake that I will let him have

Quoting pitbullprincess:" lol and clearly this works find for your kids not having it be a crack filled day with other kids ... [snip!] ... be proud if he can remember the words big brother the next day after his sugar coma from the cake that I will let him have "

lol ya, once they get older and in school, thats when my kids get their party with friends , since they are june and july kids I usually throw a pool party in our pool, with a bbq and cake, we dont do ballons at all my friend and dd1 is allergic to laytex, so we just skip ballons all together.

Your lo will have, lots of fun.

I think its a good idea. We aren't doing a big thing when ds turns 1. We are just inviting family, but since my brother and sister have kids around the same age as LO he will have someone to play with. Other than that there wont be any kids, just grandparents and aunts and uncles. We will decorate because it will be at our house and everyone will be swimming since its in the summer, but it will be more of a family get together for LO...i think having the 3 cousins together is going to be crazy enough without inviting even more kids to come  

But i definitely would introduce the idea of being a big brother before the baby comes so its not so much of a new idea when the baby gets here