Quoting Colton's Butterfly:" I'd date four years younger than myself....maybe 5 if he was on the mature side. But I'm 25, so I'm a ... [snip!] ... may be ready (Or not) for long term commitment, but is he? And vice versa. That's a rule for all relationships, really though."
Yeah, I dont know what he is looking for. I know he WAS into a long term thing and then him and his girl broke up. He said it took him like a year and a half to even "breathe" again and not be into his pain. I think I want long term right now... but I dont know. I just want... happiness. I want to be myself again.
One thing I am semi struggling with (and no, the input of "I slept with one person my entire life and waited and it was easy" kind of people wont help), but before I was with Tony I vowed to not be with anyone physically until it meant something deep. I had been hurt by a "friend" and didn't want to hurt anymore. Thats also why whenever Tony and I had our breaks I wouldn't sleep with him because I didnt want to have sex without commitment, even though Tony and I had something WAY more special than a random hookup. BUT.... I need to get laid, lol. Part of me is like "Hey have fun, don't think about it too much" but the other part is saying... feelings make it better. Wait until I have feelings. I am NOT saying this guy may be the one to fool around with or such, but with anyone I encounter next... I don't know whether to wait or let things be and have fun. I will never, ever have a "sex on the first date" type thing. Never. But do I let myself have fun, or wait until we are in a relationship and know each other and it means something (it doesnt need to be "love" but more than just a drunken night thing was what my old pact to myself was). So I'm just all.... damn I miss sex. BUT..... what do I do? lol