re: i dont want my babies father in the room...

It is ur labor experiance its all about how ur feeling how comfortable u r basically its all about u once that baby is out they can visit with a court order if he wants to pay for it . I'm all about happy endings and hoping that in case he does get to see ur hard work and the baby coming it will change him and he will be awesome but I dnt know him or the situation but life is not perfect and u do what you want its ur labor

Quoting jessicamarie_92:" Him and i are no longer together and we don't talk. When we still did he would rather go out drinking ... [snip!] ... me but now his parents are demanding i let him and HIS mom in when i cant stand either of them! I dont know what to tell them."

i wouldnt let his mother in but i would consider how it may make your child feel later in life... he/she may think well no wonder dad wasnt around mom wouldnt even let him in the room when i was born..

Quoting jessicamarie_92:" I understand why he would want to be there BUT he doesn't just get to choose when he wants to be a dad, ... [snip!] ... in cali too! lol its at Whittier Pres Inter community but i'm still touring hospitals because i want a really natural birth."

I dont know where Whittier is, but Im in Santa Cruz CA in near SF. I had a natural birth at Sutter. http://www.suttersantacruz.org/

Quoting Not tellin:" <blockquote><b>Quoting jessicamarie_92:</b>" I understand why he would want to be there ... [snip!] ... to an amicable relationship. Don't let your child be another statistic because mommy and daddy can't play nice in the sandbox."

 

I really agree with all of this, I do also think you have time to take it slow and maybe in the mean time talk a little bit about what it means to co-parent?
I dont think he needs to be in the room with you, because I hear that you want a natural birth and thats important to you and if you feel stressed that can become compromised, but you should tell him when you are labor and invite him to wait in the waiting room and maybe if you are comfortable let him come check on you while your Douala grabs some water and ice chips and maybe when the times comes and see what kind of space you are in for the birth of your baby, at least let him see the baby as soon as the baby is born.
But for you can also tell him how you feel that you would like him to show more interest in parenting? Im a little baffled at all the ppl that say to not let him in the birth room because he lack of interest ive seen so many married women on hear who talk about there so's who dont have sex with there for months, go to the appointments or dont wanna get in the nights with the newborns. Sometimes its just really hard for guys to step the smurf up...
But when that baby is born something clicks.

Quoting Smokey_Taboo:" I dont know where Whittier is, but Im in Santa Cruz CA in near SF. I had a natural birth at Sutter. http://www.suttersantacruz.org/"

its about 7 hours away lol but i appreciate the hospital recommendation

Quoting jessicamarie_92:" its about 7 hours away lol but i appreciate the hospital recommendation"

Have you thought about home births?
I wanna have a home birth for my future baby imaginary baby lol.
I wish I had the balls to do it for my first, even though I had a natural birth there are still some things I wish went differently.

Quoting Mommy to Makai & Miles:" If it's his child he legally has parenting rights. He can come and demand joint-custody, etc. So it ... [snip!] ... out now before the baby gets her is a good idea. He's your child's biological father and nothing is going to change that."

i never asked him for money, before he got his job i paid his bills i just asked that he financially help by buying baby things that we will share such as our cloth diapres wipes etc. but no he would rather drink which is fine. And not that its right but legally he has NO rights until we go to court if i dont put him on the birth certificate

Quoting Smokey_Taboo:" Have you thought about home births? I wanna have a home birth for my future baby imaginary baby lol. ... [snip!] ... I had the balls to do it for my first, even though I had a natural birth there are still some things I wish went differently. "

I REAAALLY wanted to have him at a birthing center in whittier its so beautiful and comforting! and the midwife is great! its Simonas natural birth center if you want to check it out. I want to look into a home birth but my insurance refuses to cover it at the birthing center even though its half the cost of a hospital. so to pay for my midwife and birth is 4000 :/ i just dont have a lump sum like that. Ive been trying to save for it since i found out about her so we are still talking about it but i just dont want to make her commit if she wont be able to deliver me

Quoting Smokey_Taboo:" I dont know where Whittier is, but Im in Santa Cruz CA in near SF. I had a natural birth at Sutter. http://www.suttersantacruz.org/"

I had my first baby at Sutter!

Quoting ♥ darah ♥:" I had my first baby at Sutter!"

Its a really nice birthing hospital and they are really open to natural birthing.
My water broke at 11am and they didnt make me come in till 8pm I was thankful for that.
But I still didnt like being checked and hooked up, and my pubic bone separated during pushing Im not sure why it happened but it was when she came underneath my pubic bone and remember everyone the 4 nurses and the on-call midwife all telling me to 1..2..3.. pusssshhh I hated that smurf so much.. I didnt help me I just confused what my body was doing. I kept telling them to spot but it was to late my pubic bone was already broken   Besides that they where really supportive even when I was screaming for a epi at 9cm the nurses kept reminding me of my birthing plan.

I saw on your profile, it had links to your "awesome homebirth" then your "smurffy hospital birth" why was your hospital birth smurffy?

Quoting jessicamarie_92:" I REAAALLY wanted to have him at a birthing center in whittier its so beautiful and comforting! and ... [snip!] ... found out about her so we are still talking about it but i just dont want to make her commit if she wont be able to deliver me"

She isnt willing to lower the price? I think its crazy that home births are so much money I have a friend who has a family friend and has her for only a 1000 for the amount they mark it up is crazy. My dream is to one day open a practice for low-income families to be able to birth there babies at home.

Quoting Smokey_Taboo:" She isnt willing to lower the price? I think its crazy that home births are so much money I have a ... [snip!] ... mark it up is crazy. My dream is to one day open a practice for low-income families to be able to birth there babies at home. "

no she said i could make payment but have to be fully paid by 32 weeks. im 21 weeks tomorrow so thats still a good amount of money. Well if you do please keep me in mind!

Quoting Smokey_Taboo:" Its a really nice birthing hospital and they are really open to natural birthing. My water broke ... [snip!] ... on your profile, it had links to your "awesome homebirth" then your "smurffy hospital birth" why was your hospital birth smurffy?"

Uh.. long story. It's a link.

i never wrote my story about Sutter. But that's not a hospital, just a surgery and birthing center.

Quoting Smokey_Taboo:" Its a really nice birthing hospital and they are really open to natural birthing. My water broke ... [snip!] ... on your profile, it had links to your "awesome homebirth" then your "smurffy hospital birth" why was your hospital birth smurffy?"

I had an awesome hospital birth this time, BUT the "push!" was freakin' ANNOYING.

I was like, look. I can feel my body. Leave me alone!

Quoting ♥ darah ♥:" She doesn't need to submit to him. The guy is an smurf. And is a racist sexist. I wouldn't invite anyone to my labor or recommend to ANYONE that they invite someone who makes them uncomfortable."

Who said anything about "submitting"? This isn't about "women power" and who has more rights yadda yadda yadda. This is about the two of them being responsible parents to a child that didn't ask to be born.

I said they both need to grow up! That is very clear! Someone has to set the tone for the relationship. Playing games back and forth isn't going to accomplish anything or prove anything.