Married, but husband is no help with kids... normal?

My husband works full time and I am a new stay at home mom with a 6 month old and a 3 year old and he hardly ever helps with the kids. He comes home from work and is so exhausted that he instantly sits on the couch and watches tv until he falls asleep. No interaction with the kids or me and it is really starting to wear on me. I finally broke down today and told him he needs to be aware that he has two jobs. He got mad and went outside to have a cigarette then went straight to bed. How do I approach the situation again and make things right. Am I in the wrong for wanting more help.
He works his butt off at work and is now the sole bread winner so I don't know if I am in the wrong for being mad at him for not being more involved in the kids lives.

When only one person works, I can understand when that person needs more rest time or a break.

However, that would not fly with me. Parenting is not a one person job.

My husband works full time, is in school full time, still does household chores, plays with his son and helps with him. I'd bust him in the nose if he acted like that. On his days off he gets up with the baby so I can sleep in as well.

I have the same prob. I'm a SAHM with 3 kids....youngest not even a month old. I understand that SO works hard at work and gets tired, but um....so do I. Iv brought up the topic with him a number of times, and he says he will help more, but it doesn't happen. He just turns around and tells me to go out and get a job then I will know how he feels  

its a tough call. I am a sahm with a 12 yr old, 2 yr old and one due in may. I am used to working and sharing responsibility with DH but since he is the only one working I feel bad asking him for help. However, not interacting or having family time is a little different. He still has to be a father and husband, if that makes since. My DH will spend time with my daughter on his days off just the two of them to give me a break.

I completely understand working will wear a person out. At the end of the day you just want to be by yourself, but there's a lot of things parents will want, but will probably never have until later....like sleep...

He needs to help more than that. What does he do for work btw?

Tell him you and your kids don't want his left overs...he gives his very best at work...he needs to put as much effort in at home emotionally as well as physically. His family should be the number 1 priority...I understand every now and then when you are pooped...but everyday is unacceptable

My husband is wonderful and says "your job being home is twice as hard as mine" so once he gets home and showers its all daddy time till bed. He will make dinner if I haven't already, gives baths and does the bedtime routine.

It's all about understanding each others roles. I understand there are days he is just too tired so I pick up the slack and there are days that he will walk in and do everything.

Just talk to your Dh and voice that you would like some more interaction from him.

Him needing a break is understandable. But he needs to interact with the children and help. An hour of play time and then putting them to bed is better than nothing.

Quoting It's a boy!!!!*3/27/13*:" My husband is wonderful and says "your job being home is twice as hard as mine" so once he gets home ... [snip!] ... that he will walk in and do everything. Just talk to your Dh and voice that you would like some more interaction from him."

mine says the same thing. The only thing he "refuses" to do is bath our 2 yrs. He never has because he says "she gets slippery and I am afraid to drop her".

<blockquote><b>Quoting I'm His Amy He's My Rory:</b>" My husband works full time, is in school full time, still does household chores, plays with his son and ... [snip!] ... with him. I'd bust him in the nose if he acted like that. On his days off he gets up with the baby so I can sleep in as well."</blockquote>




That is a luxury....ahhhh dare to dream  )..mine has done that a couple times

<blockquote><b>Quoting mommymassey:</b>" mine says the same thing. The only thing he "refuses" to do is bath our 2 yrs. He never has because he says "she gets slippery and I am afraid to drop her". "</blockquote>




My husband HAS dropped our son a time or two lmao

Quoting Mrs. Dexter Morgan:" When only one person works, I can understand when that person needs more rest time or a break. However, that would not fly with me. Parenting is not a one person job."

Yep.


My DH works in a restaurant and is on his feet at 9:30 am till 930/10 pm - 6 days a week AND still comes home and helps/plays with our kiddos and will help with the chores but I prefer him not too because he works so much and by the time he gets home everything is usually done anyways.

I feel the same way a lot. It's almost like in this day and age when it's a lot of two income households, sahm aren't really considered working anymore. No matter what way I present it, I'm told that I chose to stay at home, I asked for this and I can't expect him to do anything. But, really, I didn't ask him to do anything around the house. Something as simple as pick up the 6 month old that is screaming while I'm trying to make dinner with the 3 year old constantly trying to "help" is apparently asking too much. In th hours that he is at work, so am i: cooking, cleaning, kids, etc. But when he walks through that door I think he should have an amount of time to transition from worker to dad, (like 10-30 minutes) nd then be dad. Play with kids, help put them to bed or whatever. It should become tag team after normal work hours and I should be able to know that I can ask him for help (longer than 2 seconds) without being made to feel like I'm a lazy bitch. But, still waiting on that. We're both young, I'm 23 and he's 24. So I'm hoping he'll come around. Sorry you have to feel the pain too, OP.

My husband works until 5-5:30pm everyday...he will help with dinner, bathing, and bedtime. That being said i do all house work so he doesn't have to. I don't think it's fair for him to work and do house work. BUT he needs to be active in the kids lives. I tell my husband when they are in bed that's your time.
He will never know what you want/need unless you tell him