re: Am I being unreasonable?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Barfy McVomitron:</b>" I haven't gone out for more than an hour or so in almost six years except for one date with hubs where ... [snip!] ... times a week( he's out drinking right now). now that my youngest can go to sleep on his own I'm planning a girl's night out."</blockquote>




You will enjoy it. It's good to sometimes remember you are more than a mother and someone's wife.

Quoting Clopton™:" Thanks ladies. I think I'll try setting up a girls night. It's just hard to get with everyones schedules. ... [snip!] ... to bed shortly after. He'll stay up and play video games or whatever till 1-2am. Ugh. I just want some alone time with DH.  "

Could you do an at home date instead?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Daenerys™:</b>" Could you do an at home date instead?"</blockquote>




Do both. I still reckon girls night out would be a good idea

<blockquote><b>Quoting Daenerys™:</b>" Could you do an at home date instead?"</blockquote>

I requested that. Just take DD to MIL for a few hours and DH and I relax at home or cook dinner together. He is just being a douche right now. I'm leaning more towards girls night since he won't even hear me out.

Quoting Clopton™:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Daenerys™:</b>" Could you do an at home date instead?"</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... dinner together. He is just being a douche right now. I'm leaning more towards girls night since he won't even hear me out."

Yeah, that's smurffy if he won't even consider an at home date. I hope he pulls his head out of his ass.

Absolutely not. How is it okay for him to go out several days a week and have alone time but it's not okay for you to? Yeah, he might be bringing home the paycheck but that doesn't mean you don't need a break from the kids.

Not only this but is your husband able to spend any time with his child(ren) given how much he's going out?

One more thing: You guys absolutely need alone time more than two or three times a year to maintain a healthy relationship. I don't understand why he's upset if money isn't an issue and his mother is offering to babysit. I really can't think of any other reasons he would want to avoid going out other than it might encroach on his time with his friends (and if that's the case he's being downright selfish and only thinking about his wants and needs and no one else's).

I'm sorry he's being so unreasonable. Hopefully he'll come around. Sit him down and tell him how this is making you feel. Don't yell at him or get upset, just let him know that you are in need of a break from the kids and would like to spend time with him (after all he IS your husband...). If he gets upset about you saying that then I don't know what to tell you =/ I mean smurf, it's not like you're asking much.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Onalee's Mummy:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Daenerys™:</b>" Could you do an at home date instead?"</blockquote> Do both. I still reckon girls night out would be a good idea"</blockquote>

Most likely girls night. I'm tired of arguing with him. It's getting nowhere and he just keeps interrupting me. He won't even hear me out. So I walked out of the room. DD and I are reading books before bedtime.

Quoting Clopton™:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Onalee's Mummy:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Daenerys™:</b>" ... [snip!] ... just keeps interrupting me. He won't even hear me out. So I walked out of the room. DD and I are reading books before bedtime."

Let him cool off for a bit and then ask him if you guys can talk like reasonable adults. Tell him you don't want to fight and that arguing won't get either of you anywhere. Sit him down and use some Pavlov psychology on him... Ask him what HE wants out of life right now and what his desires are. Let him speak up and listen to him. After he explains what he wants you should tell him what YOU want right now. If you both lay everything out on the table in a mature fashion without turning it into a fight then you will be able to reach a compromise much sooner. Good luck.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Derp:</b>" Let him cool off for a bit and then ask him if you guys can talk like reasonable adults. Tell him you ... [snip!] ... table in a mature fashion without turning it into a fight then you will be able to reach a compromise much sooner. Good luck."</blockquote>

Thank you. I'm just giving him some time to cool off. He had a stressful day at work. He's not usually like this so I'm not taking anything he says personal. This is the norm though. He gets mad about something, doesn't know how to handle it and gets all heated. I just leave him alone for a bit and he comes around and we talk things out. Its just a lot harder when I'm pregnant. Too much hormones and I'm really emotional. Lol

Quoting Clopton™:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Derp:</b>" Let him cool off for a bit and then ask him if you ... [snip!] ... comes around and we talk things out. Its just a lot harder when I'm pregnant. Too much hormones and I'm really emotional. Lol"

Yeah, I understand. The only time my husband and I have ever really fought was when I was pregnant and super emotional. Sometimes I just couldn't walk away from a situation and I literally wanted a piece of him, lol. Of course that never helped anything and he would usually end up walking away in order to diffuse the situation. It's funny because I am NOT confrontational as a person but towards the end of my pregnancy there were a few instances where I was almost out for blood.

It's good you guys know to just walk away and cool off before talking about anything. Nothing can ever get accomplished when two people are mad at one another. Think about it: When you're mad at someone it becomes more about being right and pushing your agenda than it does working an issue out. Conversely, when you're disappointed with something but wanting to solve your problem(s) you are more willing to talk things out and reach a compromise.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Derp:</b>" Yeah, I understand. The only time my husband and I have ever really fought was when I was pregnant and ... [snip!] ... with something but wanting to solve your problem(s) you are more willing to talk things out and reach a compromise. "</blockquote>

Exactly. I'm not confrontational at all but when I'm pregnant, I'm a emotional wreck. I've learned to just walk away. Like you said, it doesn't solve anything when we're both mad.

We talked it out. He's going over to a friends for a few hours on Friday. I'm going to a friend of mines on Saturday and on Monday evening MIL is going to watch DD for the evening through dinner. So we're going to cook dinner together and rent a Redbox.

He apologized for how he acted and what he said and I apologized for being a cry baby. Lol so it worked itself out. Thank you for your advice and thank you to everyone else that replied. It was well appreciated!