Sometimes i dont even know why i bother coming home

This is going to be long. Ya dont need to read it. Its just more of i need to spill out my emotions.


Sometimes i dont even know why i bother comming home from work. I barely even have a reason to get out of bed.

I get up most mornings at 5:30am I get up change LOs diaper put lotion on her and get ready for work. I leave at 6:15am to take the bus to be at work by 7am. I stand in a drive thru almost all day in near freezing temps with just a small space heater that they just put in today. I get home anywhere from 2-5 pm depending on what time Im scheduled to. On my way home I go to the store and pick up dinner.

When i get home, dishes arent done so i cant cook. I do dishes, cook, and clean up. In between all of that i sit there an get screamed and pinched at by LO all night. In between getting screamed and pinched at i get told im a selfish and self centered bitch by my SO. About 80 percent of the time we end up in some type of argument.

I give LO a bath and i take a bath followed by more arguing. LO is still pinching and screaming at me.

I have off on the weekends but I take care of LO all weekend cause SO works over nights on Fri and Sat. Sunday i do laundry.

Im completly miserable with my life. Im at a job that i cant stand and my relationship is going to hell..

I get no affection from my SO. I havent kissed him ina month, intimate in nearly 4months, We havent said i love you to each other in idk how long.

I come home to constant arguing and being called lazy and self centered,

Ive told my SO that i dont want to be with him and he said "So thats how it is you used me to get what you want. You wanted to get away from your parents and so i gave you a place to stay, We had a daughter and you want to take her away from me. Is that what you wanted? just for a place to stay and a kid?" I told him that i wanted to plan a future but things went foul a long time ago.

I have no body in this state. No family no one to fall back on. Spending time with my parents reminds me why i dont want to live with them despite the fact i love them so much; I just like living on my own.

There's a quote I like, "this to shall pass" I hope you feel better momma good luck

your topic title is exactly how i feel....

How much time do you two actually spend talking and not yelling. I think you need to put LO to bed one night and both of you sit down and have an adult conversation. I speak from experience with two babies. Men do not know what you want. They do not know when you need help. You need to verbalize your feelings to SO and tell exactly how you're feeling. Communication is key in any relationship.

Sounds like you and your SO need some type of counseling. If you dont get a handle on THAT situation its only going to get worse. It sounds like you just need a break. Take a break from things that DONT HAVE to be done. If your SO doesnt want to help with the dishes go buy paper plates and cups so it's less stress for you

Quoting Kelly +2 ERF/EH!:" How much time do you two actually spend talking and not yelling. I think you need to put LO to bed one ... [snip!] ... help. You need to verbalize your feelings to SO and tell exactly how you're feeling. Communication is key in any relationship."

Ive told him time and time again how i feel nothing changes

Something in your life HAS to change otherwise you'll sink deeper and deeper into depression. You need a good friend or a better companion. Do you love your SO? I'd recommend a trial separation, but you have nowhere to go...

What a smurffy situation. I really feel for you, girl. I feel alone a lot too because I have no friends, but I do have my wonderful husband.

I wish I could help.

Quoting Alissa McKeighan:" Something in your life HAS to change otherwise you'll sink deeper and deeper into depression. You need ... [snip!] ... for you, girl. I feel alone a lot too because I have no friends, but I do have my wonderful husband. I wish I could help."

I have 2 friends in the state, They cant offer a place to stay.

Quoting BlackVelvet:" Ive told him time and time again how i feel nothing changes "

I'm so sorry.

Quoting Alissa McKeighan:" Something in your life HAS to change otherwise you'll sink deeper and deeper into depression. You need ... [snip!] ... for you, girl. I feel alone a lot too because I have no friends, but I do have my wonderful husband. I wish I could help."

I never got treated for PPD and it escalated. I found a better companion he lives in another state.

I'm in your thread about babyproofing your house. Seemed like your SO was treating you like crap, so I checked your other topics and found this.

Honestly, girl...you need to get out. It's not healthy for you OR your daughter. Even though he's not physically abusing you (at least you haven't said he was), you could call or go to some sort of office that's for women and young children, I'm sure. Depending on how much you make, you should be able to get at least some assistance in rent and/or food. That will help you get on your own two feet, financially. If your SO tries to harm you or scares you when you move, call the police immediately and file a report. If you fear for your life, they can make up a restraining order. If he ever threatens to take your daughter from you, that's grounds for a restraining order for her as well (my co-worker just got one from her ex because he said, "you better keep eyes on Mia at all times"...they don't play when someone threatens a kid).

There are resources to help you. It sounds like your little one is unhappy and is picking up on how your SO treats you. You're not in a healthy relationship and it's affecting your daughter. Don't hold onto something that was good if it's been bad for so long...especially with a prick like that. He's not going to change, so don't expect him to. If you leave and he actually does change, then you can consider a second chance for him, but at this point, I'd say no go with continuing that relationship.

If he is abusing you (and you just don't want to say it here), you can go here: http://mutualground.org/ They're located in Aurora, IL and their FAQ page states that emotional abuse is domestic violence and should not be tolerated. It also states, "Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive controlling behaviors..."

There's also info for help for single moms in Aurora here: http://www.singlemomassistance.org/city/il-aurora ...and here: http://www.womenempoweringwomeninc.org/resources.php (go down and click on the Illinois link, which takes you to a bunch of help websites).

For rental assistance, you can check out this one: http://www.rentassistance.us/ci/il-aurora