Okay ladies, I have a very serious question. But first i will give a little info on why i would have such a question... Okay here goes.... On January 8th my daughter's father, whom i wasn't with & hadn't been for 2 years took his own life. My daughter is currently 3 years & 11 months old. She know's daddy is gone. I have explained things to her as best as i could for her age. She is having some difficulty understanding everything fully. I expected that being as she is so young. Like i said me & him weren't together at the time. In fact he just had a little boy with another woman last june. So he left two little ones behind, but sadly for the lil boy his mom can't explain it to him for a while. Anyway. He wasn't around everyday or anything but she loved him & looked up to him like he was super man. He was very good with her. He treated her very well. They had a good bond going on. But he did end up becoming very depressed & took his life. And like i said, i have done my best to teach my daughter about it. But at the funeral she made some really sad comments. Such as wanting to die to go to heaven with daddy & that daddy was coming back & things of that nature. Now she realizes he is gone & we told her he was in heaven cuz that's the best way i could get her to understand. So anyway my point to all of this is my question. Which is: Should i take her to a councelor (sp?) or someone of that nature? Can they help someone so young with something like this? Can they do what i can't. What should i do? Anyone have to ever deal with anything like this? Any advise about her? I really don't want any opinions or questions on what happend just on how to deal with it.. Please & thank you...
I'd probably keep reminders of him in her room. Like a picture of them together. And tell her if she prays daddy is listening, even though he can't respond he's still listening. And tell her its ok to be sad and upset.
Its horrible you have to deal with this. It was horribly selfish of him to do that.
My uncle tried to kill himself a few years ago. He'd left his ex wife a message saying he still loved her and loved the kids more than anything. She found him an hour later overdosing on cocaine and pills and alcohol. Surrounded in pictures of his family and wearing his wedding ring. She had to kick the door in.
Its awful that you're left to pick up the pieces.
Yeah i will deffinetly be getting her some pics put in some frames to hanf in her room. I have told her all of that & she always looks up at the cealing & tells daddy stuff. He left her a letter. Which i will save for her. Eventually when she gets older i will tell her exactly what happened. Since she cant really comprehend it all right now. She is kinda stuck on the fact that he is gone but can come back. I think that has a lot to do with that she didn't see him every day so she was used to him coming & going ya know. It sucks for her. My dad died when i was 9 from a wreck & my mom lied to me & my sis & made it pretty rough on us & stuff. So i know what not to do at least. And it really sucks when somebody thinks thats all they have left to do & cant see all the reasons to stay. I just hope she never thinks he didnt want her.
That's def going to be rough. And I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe you and his other BM should let the kids get to know eachother. If anything ever happened to my SO or we broke up, I'd still want my daughter to know her half brother.
Yeah we plan to. She loves her baby brother. She always talks about him. I told her to come & bring him to my daughters birthday party in a few weeks. I would never stop them from knowing each other. I want her to know he;s there.
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