New boyfriend..not sure how to approach my son's father...

So I've started dating my best friend (he was a mutual friend of mine and my son's father) so he is not some random guy, my ex knows who he is and what kind of person he is. Now that we have decided to take things to the next level I'm not sure if its something i need to tell my sons father about about. My boyfriend thinks its none of his business to know because he feels like we shouldn't have to keep him updated with our life. I on the other hand think maybe i should tell him so its not a surprise to him if/when someone tells him. This is my first serious relationship since my sons father and i broke up a little over a year ago so i have no idea how to go about this....I should add that my ex and i have a decent relationship, were not the best of friends but were respectful towards each other but my ex has a temper so I'm afraid of his reaction. Any advice will be greatly appreciated!! TIA

I personally agree with your boyfriend...but if you would feel more comfortable with your kid's dad knowing then go ahead and tell him.

You don't have to tell him anything. But it would be nice if you to, especially if you'd think the same courtesy from him when he gets a girlfriend. I think he should know who his child is hanging around.

well i mean if your ex had a new GF you would want to hear it from him not other ppl right?? especially if it was serious ...and she was to go around your son ( i'm not sure if your new BF is going around your son) just saying

I don't think you need to tell anything. it's not really his business who you're dating. just like its not your business who he's dating

*double post*

Considering you were all friends, I would let your ex know.
However, your boyfriend has a point in it being none of his business considering it has been over a year since you split.

Quoting A is Me:" You don't have to tell him anything. But it would be nice if you to, especially if you'd think the same ... [snip!] ... if you'd think the same courtesy from him when he gets a girlfriend. I think he should know who his child is hanging around."

I agree i guess the reason im so iffy is because my ex knows my best friend at the time was ALWAYS around....hanging out with my son and i just about everyday, nothing is different except for the part where we are a couple now....but i think i would like to know if he was dating someone especially if it is someone i don't know...I'm a people pleaser i hate confrontation lol

He has a right to know who his child is going to be around, just like you'd want to know if other women were around your son being a "mom" figure.

I think if you're concerned about his temper & if you have a decent relationship.... it would be better coming from you than finding out from someone else. He might wonder why you kept it from him & that could start all kinds of new issues.
Don't make a big deal out of it.... don't show that you're uncertain about it. Say something like, "I just wanted you to know that ---- & I are seeing each other. It was unexpected, but I wanted to let you know so you didn't find out from other people." And just leave it at that. He doesn't need any more information.

I wouldn't. Idc if he has a girlfriend. His life, I trust his judgement about who he brings around our daughter and unless I saw/heard anything to suggest she is a bad example, I would not question him, just like I don't expect him to question me about who I bring around our child.

Quoting Lady GooGoo™:" I wouldn't. Idc if he has a girlfriend. His life, I trust his judgement about who he brings around our ... [snip!] ... she is a bad example, I would not question him, just like I don't expect him to question me about who I bring around our child."

Smurf that lol....I would want to personally meet and form my own opinion of ANYBODY who was going to be around my child for an extended period of time.

Quoting Squid Kid:" He has a right to know who his child is going to be around, just like you'd want to know if other women were around your son being a "mom" figure."

Our child has been around my current bf since he was born, like i said he isnt some random guy he was my best friend, my ex knows him and knows were always together with our son. But your right cause if i think it isn't a big deal because my ex knows excatly who our kid is around he may not see it that way when he gets a gf. ugghh thanks  

My sons Father and I are only capable of being civil when he gets what he wants... when I began dating my husband, I didn't tell my ex husband anything because it's none of his business, he chose to opt out of my personal life when he cheated and left the 3 of us. My ex husband only tells me what's convenient or gossiping about other people, otherwise he's full of secrets. I don't know how your ex would handle the new situation but I would say it's none of his business and probably not worth the potential stress it may cause you. It's never easy but good luck!

Quoting Lady GooGoo™:" I wouldn't. Idc if he has a girlfriend. His life, I trust his judgement about who he brings around our ... [snip!] ... she is a bad example, I would not question him, just like I don't expect him to question me about who I bring around our child."

I trust him in the sense where he wouldn't ever leave our child with anyone who wouldn't be fit to take care of our kid but i most defiantly want to meet the woman that is going to be second best to me when he is with his father.