don't mean to vent out on here but im really bummed out and not sure what to do..ok here goes.
me and my boyfriend been together going on 3 years, he raised my daughter since she was a baby and she looks up to him as her father and loves him so much. yes he does say that shes his daughter. we have a baby boy together an expecting another together in june. well for the past few months hes been goin out drinking with his friends and going to his moms house..(which she lives with the girl we met through and she is also my bf's brother that has life in prisons baby mama) well she drinks ALOT!!! im talking about every day drinking and well she got my bf into drinking as well. she constanly flirts with my bf when hes over there and I had told him that I didn't like that and that I understand that's also your moms house and im not trying to tell him not to see his mom..well me just get to the point..me and him were argueing a lot and he had told me we needed a break that I needed to leave the house( pshhhh screw that that's MY house too) and he told me he was gunna just stay at his friends house for a while and what not and his kids were gunna stay at his moms house. which I was like ok cool ya know?? well we were texting back and forth that night and oi told him that we need to talk so I can tell him how I felt and so I can understand what hes going through eh text back that he iddnt want to talk right now that he will see me in the morning when we go find out what were having..so I let it go for a while and at like 10 at night I said screw it let me just text him and let him know that I love him so I text him "goodnight I love you" well an hour later I wake up to a text saying I "f***ed (that girls name), Im sorry" I literally had a panic attack, im talking aboiut my hands n face got numb I was shaking, couldn't breath, heart pounding 10000 miles per hour. I just stopped and was like are you playng around or are you serious?? I asked him that because yes I did accuse him of doing that with her but didn't ever think he would actually do that. he isn't a cheater and wouldn't think about doing that. now im here in texas with my family trying to get my head straight and debating if I should go back so he van be with his kids and see his first daughter be born.. yes he said hes ashamed that he feels like a dirt bag and he just feels dirty that he just cant be around me for a while and just cant see me cry and look me in the eyes. im just so heartbroken I don't know what to do && I fell deeply mad in love with him and his kids are like my own and I miss them so much. sorry is this is long I just want some opinions on this because im getting different responses from friends n some of my family memebers and im confused. I love him so much I can look past it and move on but Im so hurt at the same time its killing me inside and to be away from him is like ughhhhh...I miss him and I miss his comfort.

Quoting *Loving My Kids*:" don't mean to vent out on here but im really bummed out and not sure what to do..ok here goes. me and ... [snip!] ... Im so hurt at the same time its killing me inside and to be away from him is like ughhhhh...I miss him and I miss his comfort."

That's a hard place to be in. If you feel like you can move past it & forgive, then go for it. But if you feel like you won't be able to trust him, then call it off. Relationships are based on trust & it sounds like you guys had trust issues before since you were accusing him of sleeping with her in the first place.

I don't know what I'd do honestly. The thought makes me sick to my stomach. You were pregnant & he smurfed another girl? That doesn't sit right with me. No matter how bad he feels.

You can ask us all you want what we would do or what we think you should do, but in the end, you're going to do what you want.

yes your right about asking and im going to do what I want I just want some opinions from other moms out there lol and yeah we have had trust issues before but I moved past that, I can look past it but idk what he wants or what..im just so lost and confused and im carrying his first daughter. he has all boys plus we have our own boy together who is 1. its hard but thank you for your response.

Use your gut instinct on what too do... I went thru about the same thing with my ex husband took him back moved pasted him cheating & had our son... Then eventually we had two daughters & when our youngest was 9 months found out he had been cheating all thru out the marriage... Yes I had a thought he was doing it again but just thought it was in my head & that I wasnt really over him cheating the 1st time... I was dumb & he was such a good smooth talker... I finally investigated myself & what I thought so many times was really happening... He finally told me after our divorce was final that he had cheat 13 times with different woman... So anymore I go with what my gut & instincts tell me! Im not saying all men r like my ex & will keep cheating all im saying is do what your 💜 gut & instincts tell u! You & the kids r what matter not how he feels or will feel! Hope all works out for u 

my boyfriend cheated on me when we were together for 8 months and i found out by her telling me i was so hurt and confused but he made a effort to make it up to me and moved in with me and now were going on 4 years together and expecting a lil girl and my 6 year old son knows him as his dad!!! it was really hard the first 2 years i had no trust but he hasn't done it since

Wow! thanks for the replies guys it means a lot..im seeing different sides and outcomes from both. like I believe we can work out but at the same time its going to be hard for me. I thought about moving back to ny to be closer to him so he can be with our kids and what not but not live with him, just find a job, house for me and my kids and work things out that way. but then my mom is like if you were gunna go back why even come here but I know why I came here..to be with my mom and to clear my head so I wont be around him and see how it goes..i already to;ld myself If I go back I need to get a job here, save up money, get a car and find a job and house before moving back so I have a place to go to when I move back. make sense?? lol

Quoting *Loving My Kids*:" Wow! thanks for the replies guys it means a lot..im seeing different sides and outcomes from both. like ... [snip!] ... up money, get a car and find a job and house before moving back so I have a place to go to when I move back. make sense?? lol"

that actually sounds like a great plan for the both of you, most of the time the reason why relationships don't work out is because they jump right back into the relationship like nothing happened. I did it with my ex of a year and a half and I wish I had taken it slow with him after our first break up. you can't completely recuperate after being cheated on by someone you love especially if they do it while your pregnant, so taking it slow is the best option because it gives you both time to figure out what you want in the relationship and if you both truly want to be together, he also needs to put effort into proving that he wants the relationship to work out and prove that he actually sorry for what he did instead of being sorry that he hurt you.

Quoting *Loving My Kids*:" Wow! thanks for the replies guys it means a lot..im seeing different sides and outcomes from both. like ... [snip!] ... up money, get a car and find a job and house before moving back so I have a place to go to when I move back. make sense?? lol"

Looks like you got your head on straight  

UPDATE: he has moved on already well talking to someone and hanging out so guess its time for me to not stress anymore and move on forward just me and my kids because I am not even thinking or trying to hang out/meet/talk/be with any man at all for at least 1 or 2 years. so tired of getting hurt and being a good woman taking care of everything and not get anything in return!!

Quoting *Loving My Kids*:" UPDATE: he has moved on already well talking to someone and hanging out so guess its time for me to not ... [snip!] ... least 1 or 2 years. so tired of getting hurt and being a good woman taking care of everything and not get anything in return!!"

You can't let him get to you, just because you've had bad luck it doesn't mean that's all you're ever going to get. Focus on you and your kids, find happiness within yourself and someone will come along when you're not looking or least expect it but don't have a closed mind because you could miss out on Mr. Right. I understand putting your guards up because I've been there but don't keep them up forever, you could meet a great guy and push him away without even realizing it. Just do you, have fun...live life and everything else will fall in place as it's supposed to happen. Stay strong mama, if you ever need to talk I'm here.  

Quoting Word:" You can't let him get to you, just because you've had bad luck it doesn't mean that's all you're ever ... [snip!] ... life and everything else will fall in place as it's supposed to happen. Stay strong mama, if you ever need to talk I'm here.  "

Thank you && now he's just playing straight games with me. He called me back the same day like a couple hours later saying he was sorry what he said that hes not really talking to anyone that he just wanted to make me mad and i think he realized he really hurt me instead of just making me upset because the tone in his voice was just like wow im such an ass for doing that to her. ughhh...im not even going to trip on him anymore..if it its meant to be its meant to be we will come together if it is if not then oh well im not trying to look for anyone at all. well i say that now but down the road i know i will find someone better so yeah. thanks for the support girl!!

Quoting *Loving My Kids*:" Thank you && now he's just playing straight games with me. He called me back the same day like ... [snip!] ... anyone at all. well i say that now but down the road i know i will find someone better so yeah. thanks for the support girl!!"

No problem! Forget that smurf face...of course he says he was just saying that, he just wants to do what he wants and have you controlled so no one else has you and that's not how it works so yeah screw him! If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me