re: Why does this bother me?

Quoting ☮ Phuket:" honestly i thinks its part of the porblem..it has destroyed my body... he doesntl ike pregnancy, i ... [snip!] ... think in all my pregnancies he rubbed my stomach once and it was out at a gathering.. otherwise, he doesnt touch it... "

That's terrible. I'm sorry.   Your pregnancies have been very close together, right? Maybe wait a little while after this one so you can get your body and confidence back and he might change his behavior.

But I'd be ripping him a new one about him saying that to another girl. How do you know he said that?

Quoting Daenerys™:" Wow. That is definitely crossing the line. How disrespectful to you. Of course he'd get defensive when you bring it up, he hasn't been the best husband. I wish I had some good advice for you   "

thanks and we arent married BTW.. he isnt technically my husband..

That would hurt me very much. Would he consider getting into couples counseling?

<blockquote><b>Quoting ☮ Phuket:</b>" honestly i thinks its part of the porblem..it has destroyed my body... he doesntl ike pregnancy, i ... [snip!] ... think in all my pregnancies he rubbed my stomach once and it was out at a gathering.. otherwise, he doesnt touch it... "</blockquote>


Have you ever had anyone else speak to him? A therapist, a friend, a family member? Sometimes you need someone else to say things to help get it through someone's skull, or to prevent them from becomig defensive. Or have someone from your side of the family stand up for you, let him know you have people on your side watching out for you and help give him some motivation to treat you differently. I'm sure he thinks you are beautiful though!!

Quoting ☮ Phuket:" we didnt mean to get pregnant... and he isnt like grossed out by it. he still has sex with me.. but I just think he doesnt like me pregnant..like my body.."

I understand. I mean the fact that he still has sex with you doesn't really say much if he's not treating you with love and respect.

You dont have to leave the house to get dressed up and look sexy for him. Do it just because.

Its incredibly smurfed up that hes telling someone else they are hot and not you. Why stay with someone like that?

Quoting ☮ Phuket:" thanks and we arent married BTW.. he isnt technically my husband.."

Husband, not husband....if you two are in a committed relationship, he should treat you like you deserve to be treated and no one deserves to not hear they are beautiful from their spouse. Then to know that their spouse is telling other women how sexy they are, that's a huge slap in the face.

Quoting Daenerys™:" I understand. I mean the fact that he still has sex with you doesn't really say much if he's not treating you with love and respect. "

This.  

Quoting Supafly★:" That's terrible. I'm sorry.   Your pregnancies have been very close together, right? Maybe wait a little ... [snip!] ... change his behavior. But I'd be ripping him a new one about him saying that to another girl. How do you know he said that? "

saw it on his FB... i wasnt really snooping just trying to find a message his dad sent him ( family drama at the time) and happend to see the "preview" of a message to ao girl and it had the word ass. in it... i clicked on it and read all the messages... then i confronted him obviously and he told me she texts him titty pictures and they would flirt and stuff.. i was 30 weeks pregnant with my last baby wehn this happened. I was so hurt.. he was supposed to be that guy i knew would never do a thing like this.. : ( i was so wrong.. he completey made me lose faith in all men.

we are working on it, i didnt just throw away our past over one girl, who said she had a BF at the time, and is way uglier than me.. grrrrrr. i posted pics of her on here and stuff after i found out.. she looksl ike a man.. and that made it worse.

Quoting ☮ Phuket:" saw it on his FB... i wasnt really snooping just trying to find a message his dad sent him ( family ... [snip!] ... than me.. grrrrrr. i posted pics of her on here and stuff after i found out.. she looksl ike a man.. and that made it worse."

It should have made you feel worse, not only was it a violation of your trust, it was also very disrespectful, and inconsiderate. Pregnant or not pregnant, he should be content with you if you are his partner and vice versa. He should be expressing how sexy your ass is since it's the one he comes home to at night. I think that's a major red flag. I'd be trying to get some type of counseling if I were you.

Quoting ☮ Phuket:" saw it on his FB... i wasnt really snooping just trying to find a message his dad sent him ( family ... [snip!] ... than me.. grrrrrr. i posted pics of her on here and stuff after i found out.. she looksl ike a man.. and that made it worse."

Eh, I understand working out problems, but I was once in your shoes and caught my ex messaging other girls or other girls messaging him. He told me it would stop. We tried working it out and all that garbage because I really thought he loved me. It never stopped. It might have stopped for a week or something, but he STILL continued to go behind my back and talk to other women. I don't think some people ever change. Good luck, though. You're beautiful!  

Obviously we are all going to be attracted to other people, but is it necessary to say so? I don't think so.
If me and SO are watching a show or something I will comment on how pretty a girl is and he will agree, but if I heard or seen him telling some girl she was sexy/gorgeous, I would be hurt.
Especially after pregnancy, girls usually are already insecure about their body, and I think a good spouse should go out of his way to let her know she is still beautiful to him.

Quoting Daenerys™:" It should have made you feel worse, not only was it a violation of your trust, it was also very disrespectful, ... [snip!] ... the one he comes home to at night. I think that's a major red flag. I'd be trying to get some type of counseling if I were you."

yeah im sure we could do counesling if we got the time..
but he works all week out of town i work all weekend.. we hardly see each other for more than 20 mins at a time lately.

Quoting ☮ Phuket:" saw it on his FB... i wasnt really snooping just trying to find a message his dad sent him ( family ... [snip!] ... than me.. grrrrrr. i posted pics of her on here and stuff after i found out.. she looksl ike a man.. and that made it worse."

The other girl is almost ALWAYS a downgrade. I'm sorry you had to find out that way, that's horrible.

that bothers me with SO too. we've been together 9 years and he hardly ever says im' beautiful/sexy/hot/cute/pretty. he never has though. he doesn't really point out anybody who's hot though. occasionally i'll show him a picture and be like she's hot, and he'll agree...but that's it.
i think it's juts not in his nature or seomtihng lol