He's being sent home...

At least willingly this time.

Since last weeks incidents, where Jacob flipped out, attacked a teacher, and then was promptly suspended.

Of course now he thinks he can be sent home AGAIN. Which is why they're not supposed to suspend him. but this time, instead of attacking other people, he's attacking himself.

I know we don't have the whole story this time, and that's fine, this time the teacher claims it's about work. I'll know his story once he gets here.

But the school says that he's hurt himself so bad this time, that they won't be hold liable for what he does to himself. And he needs to come home.

I've already talked with the teacher, I plan on signing forms that if he hurts himself the school is not held liable for it. But the teacher needs time to regroup and plan for a strategy in case this happens again.

So he's expecting ME to come and get him. Turns out DH isn't so busy at work and can come and get him. Which he's not expecting. And this will set him off and scare him so bad, that both me and the teacher thinks this is a GREAT idea. We think that if we scare him enough, that he will stop wanting to hurt himself and come home or stop coming up with plans and ideas about coming home...

Well DH's on his way...we'll see what happens in about 30 minutes.

oh man, that sounds bad. How old is he?

Quoting Colt's mommy:" oh man, that sounds bad. How old is he?"

He's 6&1/2 and in first grade.

He's autistic, with adhd, spd and a behavioral disorder.

Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:" He's 6&1/2 and in first grade. He's autistic, with adhd, spd and a behavioral disorder."

oic. Well good luck hun, that must be so hard to want to help him, I wouldn't know what to do!

Quoting Colt's mommy:" oic. Well good luck hun, that must be so hard to want to help him, I wouldn't know what to do!"

Well I was like, "Crap I'll come and bail him out again." But we're not supposed to.

And to him it's like we'll be sending the devil in himself. So although it's kind of funny to me and the teacher because we know what it will do to him, it's not really because we don't want to traumatize him either. But we don't want him trying to get himself sent to the hospital either just to come home.

So yeah, he doesn't even know DH is coming, he's just going to show up, the teacher knows he's coming Jake does not. And then she's going to say something, "Well you wanted to come home, Caleb's here to take you home."

Which will just freak him out to the core.

I don't think scaring a kid with issues like that should be funny in any way, and I think its a poor tactic. A child with problems to that degree need understanding and compassion. It sounds like he should be put in an alternative school with teachers who can genuinely help him. Does he go to child therapy?

Quoting Baby Love.:" I don't think scaring a kid with issues like that should be funny in any way, and I think its a poor ... [snip!] ... It sounds like he should be put in an alternative school with teachers who can genuinely help him. Does he go to child therapy?"

He's in the SLC(specialized learning center) and you'd have to know him to know how this will work. Both the teacher(who is his special ed teacher) and I agreed that the husband coming in to take him home would probably be a good manipulation tool against him so that way next time he'll think that if he hurts himself his step dad will come and get him and not me. Because she knows that he's manipulating HER by harming himself to come home. She's going to take the rest of the day to formulate a plan to keep him at school tomorrow. Per the teacher, she does not allow him to be sent home or suspended unless she can't calm him down regardless of what he does because he uses it as manipulation.

He's already had his intake with a new therapist, and we're waiting for the phone call to set up therapy again with him, because this is the first year he's done self harm to get his way.

And you do understand that he's in special ed right? Not just a "bad student".

I worked in the special education department of a local school district. I think it is totally wrong that they suspended him in the first place, I was going to reply to that post but my little guy was not going to allow me to do that. May I suggest you look into getting an advocate? I know that the district I worked for was more willing to help when an advocate was involved due to the threat of legal action for now following the IEP. If you have questions about this please feel free to call me at 503-442-8542 as I can give you some advice. I know I saw so many things that in my mind were not ok. I also advocated for my daughter when she was having issues with plans not being followed. The only reason I was able to do this is because I "knew the system" so to speak. Please feel free to contact me.

Quoting k,c,k mom:" I worked in the special education department of a local school district. I think it is totally wrong ... [snip!] ... followed. The only reason I was able to do this is because I "knew the system" so to speak. Please feel free to contact me."

I'm basically letting the suspension "slide" this time because I should of been more stern on making him stay home. But I didn't want to cause a fight between him and I that he would miss 2 days of school that week instead of one. And look what happened to that.

By us picking him up today, it avoided another suspension and his teacher is actually really good with him. But she's at a loss too, because I don't think she has the resources to keep him entirely safe at school and she doesn't know what to do either.

I'm ok with her working with him, I'm not ok with the vice principal and principal stepping in and obviously if that happens again, I'll do more than just yell at them.

And obviously their smurf up led to this. So yeah. Doubly pissed.

Do they have an aid in the classroom that can work with him in a 1:1 setting? I have seen that many times having that additional help makes a huge difference. If the principal and vice principal are not trained to work with a student with the disabilities your child has they never should. I have been there and it is not a good option. Please make sure that the correct people are working with your child. I am not saying this to try to sound bossy, I just have experience as a parent with a child with disabilities and as someone that had worked in the role as overseeing what happens, good and bad, within the classrooms

Quoting Baby Love.:" I don't think scaring a kid with issues like that should be funny in any way, and I think its a poor ... [snip!] ... It sounds like he should be put in an alternative school with teachers who can genuinely help him. Does he go to child therapy?"

I am not sure if you have read any of OP's other posts about her LO but she is an amazing Mom who deals very well with having a special needs LO and dose treat him with understanding and compassion. However she also is trying to help her LO to progress. Sometimes she needs to push him out side of his small comfort zone a little. Like today.

She works along side others to help her make the best choices for this LO and I think that in this situation since the teacher also agreed that this would be a good way to get her LO to stop hurting himself in hopes of being sent home, then it is worth a try.

Quoting k,c,k mom:" Do they have an aid in the classroom that can work with him in a 1:1 setting? I have seen that many times ... [snip!] ... with disabilities and as someone that had worked in the role as overseeing what happens, good and bad, within the classrooms"

Oh I yelled at them. And the teacher wasn't to happy either, she understood why they had to suspend him but knew the consequences it would mean for HER in the long run. They were called once he hurt his aide and it "left welts" according to the principal.

We are still working with the school and the teacher. And trying to formulate new plans.

Quoting applelove:" I am not sure if you have read any of OP's other posts about her LO but she is an amazing Mom who deals ... [snip!] ... agreed that this would be a good way to get her LO to stop hurting himself in hopes of being sent home, then it is worth a try."

He wasn't afraid at all, he was just really mad. But in the long run, it wasn't a suspension it was willingly walking away so that looks good for him.

Thanks...I've already sent pictures and notified his real dad what happened, and we are just trying to get all the paperwork filled out so that we can have more plans in place.

Once we all think we have him figured out, he does something like this and we have to start over, AGAIN.

ETA: We also had to think of the other 2 who were napping. And when I have to bring him home when he's out of control and they're awake, well the baby thinks he's hilarious, I think he will until he gets hurt, but my daughter is terrified. They all have such compassion for him when he's having an outburst(my daughter says, "Oh Jacob it's ok") but she definitely doesn't want to be cracked in the head again and go to the hospital for stitches.

He was calm when he came home.

Here's to more plans tomorrow and hopefully a better day~

ugh he's having a rough go at it lately  

glad you got him home safely and he calmed down... good luck!

Quoting m o m ♥:" ugh he's having a rough go at it lately   glad you got him home safely and he calmed down... good luck!"

yep! We hope so too.

since Caleb had to take time off to go get him he has to work late, which mean I'm stuck with them (Nat and Jake) TOGETHER, and ALONE, for quite a while....it's so hard to keep them from attempting to kill each other.

They're fighting now.