So over this wishing I knew what to do....really long Vent

Now that I know what the whole don't quote thing means please don't quote this!

I really feel underappreciated by SO/BD and it sucks. Like ever since he lost his job things have been half good and half bad. I am ready more then anything for him to start working again. He gets on my nerves all the time now :/. And I really pretty much just started cooking for him since I got back from my trip. At first it was fun, now it's turning into ehhh not so great. I love this man but I am tired of feeling underappreciated. I swear since he lost his job he has not become necessarily lazy all the way but parts of him have just changed to being lazy, and kind of mean. I am not saying I shouldn't ever fix a plate for him (which he does his own because I don't know how much he'll eat.) or that I shouldn't get him a snack every once in a while. But lately it's like he doesn't even appreciate when I do. For example I was laying down earlier to nap because I was soooo tired, and he knew it too. I had just gotten laid down and all the sudden he called me "Tabitha, oh Tabitha..." I asked what he wanted, and he said "Will you get up and get me a popsicle?" Like wtf???? I just laid down and he knew it too, and he hadn't done anything all day why the hell couldn't he get off his ass and get one himself??? I told him plain out no that I already had gotten him 4 right before I laid down. Oh and I know he is a man and can eat, but he used to claim he didn't like sweets, he lied like hell. He will sit there and ask me to get him a popsicle and I will get him 2 or 3 at a time like he wants, then right after he finishes he wants 2-3 more, and by the time I finally tell him no I am not giving him anymore he has already scarfed down 10. He is not over weight or anything either. His metabolism is crazy high. So then right before I had laid down I had given him one more and he called me an smurf for not giving him another one with that...it's seriously makes me feel underappreciated. And last night he said this to me which hurt my feelings, he wanted me to press play on the movie after I already sat down comfortably on the couch and he saw me do it, and I had already taken out my computer to do some school work and I told him I just laid down to do work. He looks at me and says "it's ok I wouldn't want you to burn any calories getting up and turning on the movie" Like wtf to that too? Everything is so different now. He won't have sex with me, we've had sex once in like the last 2 weeks at all. He claims he isn't in the mood and I caught him the other night looking up porn, and he tried to all play it off, and I just walked away. He isn't afraid to hurt the baby and I know this for a fact, he just would rather look at the women on the computer then me which I'm to the point of saying smurf it. I mean he makes fun of my undies because I can't wear the "sexy" ones as he used to call them, because they are too uncomfortable. He has made fun of my stretch marks, and he claims he wasn't making fun of them, but I know he really was. He has made fun of other things too lately, and basically made me feel down on my self esteem. A lot of what he is doing makes me feel like the romance and the relationship is falling apart. He wants to spend time together or so he claims, and sits there and calls me an smurf because I left the living room after he wanted me to move off the couch so he could stretch out and go to sleep. Which that just happened a few minutes ago. I got upset and got up and walked to my room where I sleep (we don't even sleep together anymore because he said that the couch doesn't hurt his back, which we are "supposed" to go and look at mattresses together, but he sleeps on the couch for now. Which I just don't say it hurts my feelings, I know the couch hurts his back but it does mine too but I just let him sleep alone without me). But he got mad though because first of all I didn't jump right up to make him a snack because he was hungry there were NO snacks in the cabinet, so I just heated some boiled peanuts from a can up, and he doesn't like them everything else I pretty much would have to cook and it's damn 12 at night I don't feel like cooking. So I told him when I finished eating what I got I would make him something. But he called me an smurf for that to for eating in front of him. I told him he was an smurf for trying to get me to move when he is so called "wanting to spend time together". I can't tell if I am losing feelings for him for all the other things that have happened lately or what is going on, but parts of me is so tired of all the bullsmurf other then what I just vented about that I feel like maybe I really am. I don't feel beautiful to him anymore, I had to tell him he never even calls me beautiful or looks at me like he used to, but yet he comments on how good every other girl looks. I wasn't asking him to call me beautiful every 5 minutes or every day or any of that. Just every once in a while it'd be nice to feel like he thinks I am beautiful. So he pretty much said it to me after I made a comment and hasn't even thought to say it since. Maybe I really do turn him off now I don't know. I don't know if he's lost interest in me, but I just feel like maybe it's falling apart which really does hurt, but at the same time I can't even cry thinking about it because I feel like it's going to happen eventually. I just am so tired of a lot of this and don't really know what to do....*sigh* this was half an anger vent and half of me just sad venting. Again.......please don't quote this either! Thanks for reading I half way feel better.

Like I've said before... He's an smurf dude. Is he even trying to look for another job? What a lazy ass sack of smurf.

Honestly, these don't sound like real problems.

The man likes popsicles. You keep getting them for him. He's going to keep asking.

He's only going to ask you to do what he thinks he can get away with.

The porn thing is something, but he very well could be afraid to hurt the baby. Plenty of men are. You seem to have body insecurities that you're putting off on him, and blaming him for making you feel that way.

Go underwear shopping with him....find some cute ones that aren't uncomfortable.

As for everything else, I don't really see the big deal. Hit play and get popsicles. If you don't want to, don't do it. The world will not end.

I'm sure he's depressed about losing his job.

Quoting £egendary £ex:" Like I've said before... He's an smurf dude. Is he even trying to look for another job? What a lazy ass sack of smurf."

I know a lot of what he has done was jerky and then it changed. But yes, he is waiting for the GM to call him about a 2nd interview with him so he can go. He put in several applications all over, but he is guaranteed the other job, now he is just waiting. I thought having him home was GREAT but boy was I wrong. I love him but I am now around him way TO much and it's driving me crazy not to mention my hormones are out of whack.

Quoting Due w/ a little boy!:" I know a lot of what he has done was jerky and then it changed. But yes, he is waiting for the GM to ... [snip!] ... I wrong. I love him but I am now around him way TO much and it's driving me crazy not to mention my hormones are out of whack."

you posted a vent about him not too long ago so if it changed it must have just been for a few days. idk why he thinks he can just order you around...? I wouldn't have gotten him a popsicle beyond the first time though, lol. Some of the stuff you posted isn't awful but like, him making rude ass comments because you didn't get up & press 'play' for him on a movie or whatever...? um why can't he just do that himself  

Omg, he is a douchebag! I'm so sorry you are having to deal with him, I would be calling him an smurf like he does to you and refuse to do anything for him if he is seriously going to treat you like that. I'd tell him to go get a job and get his own damn food. I would also make him jealous by just talking to other guys ( even if you're not, pretend you are) then see how he acts. Sometimes guys get used to who they are with and knowing that person isn't going to leave them, so they need some reassuring that you can leave and you can find another guy to be with.

Quoting My Widdle:" Omg, he is a douchebag! I'm so sorry you are having to deal with him, I would be calling him an smurf ... [snip!] ... that person isn't going to leave them, so they need some reassuring that you can leave and you can find another guy to be with."

This is probably the worst relationship advice ever. Lmao

<blockquote><b>Quoting £egendary £ex:</b>" This is probably the worst relationship advice ever. Lmao"</blockquote>




Lol maybe after reading it, and I didn't realize OP was pregnant.... I just get so annoyed with men who just expect their women to do everything for them, but treat them smurffy. I refuse to let it happen to me and I've seen it so many times with people I know.

Quoting My Widdle:" Omg, he is a douchebag! I'm so sorry you are having to deal with him, I would be calling him an smurf ... [snip!] ... that person isn't going to leave them, so they need some reassuring that you can leave and you can find another guy to be with."

Holy smurf there is no way you're in a relationship, and if you are there's no way it's going to last.

Quoting My Widdle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting £egendary £ex:</b>" This is probably the worst relationship ... [snip!] ... everything for them, but treat them smurffy. I refuse to let it happen to me and I've seen it so many times with people I know."

Pregnant or not, it was 100% the opposite of what you should ever do in a relationship.

Quoting My Widdle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting £egendary £ex:</b>" This is probably the worst relationship ... [snip!] ... everything for them, but treat them smurffy. I refuse to let it happen to me and I've seen it so many times with people I know."

oh haha.

yea same here, it frustrates me seeing the vents women post sometimes. I feel like it isn't worth it to keep trying after a certain point if the guy is that bad, kwim.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" Holy smurf there is no way you're in a relationship, and if you are there's no way it's going to last. "</blockquote>




Actually I am, and we have been happily together for a little over 7 years now. We love each other and have the best time being together, we are perfect together.

<blockquote><b>Quoting £egendary £ex:</b>" oh haha. yea same here, it frustrates me seeing the vents women post sometimes. I feel like it isn't worth it to keep trying after a certain point if the guy is that bad, kwim."</blockquote>




Yeah some of the stuff I've read.... That smurf wouldn't fly with me lol

Quoting Red Bottom:" Honestly, these don't sound like real problems. The man likes popsicles. You keep getting them for ... [snip!] ... and get popsicles. If you don't want to, don't do it. The world will not end. I'm sure he's depressed about losing his job. "

The whole popsicle thing, I just needed to vent on that one since it's just driving me crazy. I know sounds stupid but I have been telling him now, but I just mean now that he is home all he wants to do is eat. And he freaking hides the Debbie cakes from me so he can eat those to, when he claims he HATED sweets. I buy them to eat, but I don't buy them to be eaten in one day.
The insecurity thing is because of him. He makes fun of my stretch marks, and I thought they were beautiful and what not but he turned right around and was talking about me being "all stretched up". The calorie thing about how he doesn't want me to shed any calories, I am damn 33 and a half weeks pregnant. It hurts my feeling that he basically is calling me fat. It doesn't bother me when other people tell me I am about to pop, because I know they just mean wow you've really gotten out there and we know it's almost time for your due date. But when he comments he doesn't say anything along those lines, usually I won't care what he has to say, but when he makes a comment that makes me cry that is when he should realize he went to far. He moos at me and stuff to or well he has before and that just makes me feel like a fat cow. And to try to make it better he says you wanted it so your welcome. Yes I wanted a baby but you don't have to be so mean to me right now. And the porn thing it really is something. I usually don't care if he does but when he claims "I'm just not in the mood to have sex" and I catch him turning the computer away from me so I don't know that he is looking at other women I mean if he had sex with me it wouldn't bother me. But he doesn't. It just drives me nuts. And the other stuff just drives me insane so I needed to get that out there.

Quoting My Widdle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" Holy smurf there is no way you're in a relationship, ... [snip!] ... together for a little over 7 years now. We love each other and have the best time being together, we are perfect together."

When you get into fights do you call him names and talk to other guys to make him jealous?