re: AWKWARD sexual moments?

Ahh also, one that was way more awkward. We live literally next door to my mom. I was busy one day and didn't get around to returning a phone call or text from her or something and then hubs and I decided to take a moment to enjoy having the house to ourselves. And we're in the middle of it, and I hear "Helllloo! Any one home?" from the back door. So we froze and I yelled "GO.AWAY!!!" . Right as we think it's safe, there's a tiny knock on the bedroom door "Hello? Are you going to talk to me at some point today?" and utterly frustrated with the whole situation I scream "Yes, when I'm not smurfing my husband!!!" aaaaand silence. Then he burst out laughing and I thought I was going to die of embarrassment. Couldn't look at my mom for days lol

Quoting Amber :]:" I queefed in my ex-girlfriend's face one time.  "

Bahahahaha.

Whenever DH pulls all the way out and goes back in, air goes in.....So when I stand up, the most horrible sound comes out. It's not awkward for either of us, but it's smurfing hilarious.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:</b>" (he'd kill me if he knew I put this on here lol) We made a deal - he gives me an ACTUAL massage, like ... [snip!] ... trying to be sexy, or that he admitted to just putting on random underwear that he found, not knowing where they came from lol"</blockquote>




Oh my godddd lol

I've said this before on here but one time DH and I were fooling around on the couch in the front room of my parents house (he was 18 and I was 16 at the time) and I started to give him a bj right as my dad got home and walked into the house. So I covered his penis up with a pillow and laid my head on the pillow pretending like I was relaxing on him while we were watching tv. Well my dad came in and sat next to DH on the couch and put his arm around him all the while I'm ever so secretly trying to put DH's penis back in his pants under the pillow. Worst experience ever! lol

I'm gonna go back and read all these in a minute.. but here's mine...

a couple weeks ago, the kids were all asleep, so we went upstairs. we left the TV on because we weren't going to sleep, just getting in a quickie. the TV was on Duck Dynasty. If you watch this show, you will know which episode I am referencing; the one where Uncle Si needs glasses because he is so near-sighted. Well, I'm giving him head, and on TV Uncle Si accidentally ate a raccoon turd instead of a berry. I picked this up faintly, and couldn't help but laugh. I choked on hubby and said "i'm sorry.. I have to stop.. Si is eating turds over there..." he picked up the remote, changed it to the Spanish channel, and we resumed..

Quoting ❥ Meℓi:" Well idk if this is awkward but deff funny/embarrassing. One time I was having sex with this dude & ... [snip!] ... fell off the smurfing bed!! OMFG, I felt like dying but then I felt like it could of been a scene from 40 year old virgin lmao."

hahhaa That could definitely be a scene from a movie.

Quoting KNZ.:" oh my gosh   no way ahhaha i almost wanna know the longer version of that story haha like, what was HIS reaction?! "

he wasn't really too upset really. surprisingly. not much grosses him out...I can't think of anything, actually....hmm

Quoting ℳonster's ℳom:" I've said this before on here but one time DH and I were fooling around on the couch in the front room ... [snip!] ... him all the while I'm ever so secretly trying to put DH's penis back in his pants under the pillow. Worst experience ever! lol"

ahhah oops  

Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:" Bahahahaha. Whenever DH pulls all the way out and goes back in, air goes in.....So when I stand up, the most horrible sound comes out. It's not awkward for either of us, but it's smurfing hilarious."

hahaha! it usually happens to me if SO and I do it doggy style.
My ex said that some ex-girlfriend of her's queefed in her mouth one time, so she was just glad it wasn't in her mouth. lmao

Quoting Barfy McVomitron:" I've shared this on bg before. I pooped, diarrhea, on my hubs on accident whilst fornicating. it was ... [snip!] ... it happened the only thing I said was "I pooped on you" and nearly died laughing as I ran, butt hole clenched, to the bathroom"

ROFLMAO>>> I am dying here...

Quoting Barfy McVomitron:" he wasn't really too upset really. surprisingly. not much grosses him out...I can't think of anything, actually....hmm"

haha what a good man  

Quoting J+D=4:" I'm gonna go back and read all these in a minute.. but here's mine... a couple weeks ago, the kids were ... [snip!] ... I have to stop.. Si is eating turds over there..." he picked up the remote, changed it to the Spanish channel, and we resumed.."

lmfao. I would've had a hard time not laughing at the spanish channel, too.

Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:" (he'd kill me if he knew I put this on here lol) We made a deal - he gives me an ACTUAL massage, like ... [snip!] ... trying to be sexy, or that he admitted to just putting on random underwear that he found, not knowing where they came from lol"

LMFAO  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:</b>" (he'd kill me if he knew I put this on here lol) We made a deal - he gives me an ACTUAL massage, like ... [snip!] ... trying to be sexy, or that he admitted to just putting on random underwear that he found, not knowing where they came from lol"</blockquote>


I'm belly laughing! Oh, that's funny  

Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:" (he'd kill me if he knew I put this on here lol) We made a deal - he gives me an ACTUAL massage, like ... [snip!] ... trying to be sexy, or that he admitted to just putting on random underwear that he found, not knowing where they came from lol"

lol well I beat hubby at bowling once and the bet was that if I won he had to wear a pair of my sexy purple lace panties to bed... he refused to pose for the pictures...