re: Discovering gender

Quoting speaktruth2powr:" So, you are teaching her what exactly? What are "masculine ways"?"

I teach her everything she needs to know to become the intelligent young lady she needs to be one day. That means no playing rough and crossing your legs when you wear skirts... I teach her that young women should be self-sufficient and well mannered. I would never paint my sons nails any color... pink is not the issue. When he is old enough to make these decisions and understand and deal with the consequences in a healthy way and still wanted to do it I would stand by his side 100%. Hell I'd buy me and him both some new polishes. But I will not encourage those behaviors in a child so young. They are too impressionable. Parents love unconditionally but kids can be cruel and I won't set my child up to be a bullies mark. And if this makes me a bad parent so be it... I damn sure won't allow my son to wear a dress. Out of the question.

Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:" YOU think it's wrong. Doesn't mean it IS wrong. See the difference there? I could find flaws in your ... [snip!] ... to her son now or not. That's not saying "HEY, EVERYONE COME TELL ME I'M WRONG FOR NOT LETTING MY SON WEAR DRESSES AND PANTIES""

I never said she had to listen - but again, we're on a public forum and she put it out there on the internet. If people educated themselves on things like gender then we probably wouldn't even be having this discussion. And I wasn't giving her advice on her parenting, I was expressing how crappy that particular way of thinking is.  

Quoting Brendan&Bethany'sMom:" I teach her everything she needs to know to become the intelligent young lady she needs to be one day. ... [snip!] ... mark. And if this makes me a bad parent so be it... I damn sure won't allow my son to wear a dress. Out of the question. "

WOW...again, that is some sick smurf.

Quoting LolaMcKitten:" Also, I did not TELL her what to do, I was stating how wrong *I* think it is, she's free to screw her kids up however she wants.  "

Funny how you talk about her screwing her kids up....When *I* think, you are the one screwing yours up.

But meh.........That's my opinion.

Toys are different. I'd let my son have a doll and my daughter have a truck or whatever. But something on their body or appearance is different. I used to love those little cars with the tracks you build for them. My aunt called me a dyke when I was 7. Because of toy choices and climbing trees. I'm not saying that stuff is bad. Just clothing and nail polish and hair and stuff like that, IMO, should be kept in line with the gender by choice of the parent until the kids older and more independent to choose. I don't think I'm harming him. Right after I said no he got distracted by something else and slept fine that night :p

I'm just not sure what to say when he talks about who has a "wee wee" over and over lol

Quoting Mandy Schlatterer:" <blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" Why don't boys do that?"</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... my kids will be raised in their birth gender. I was a Tom boy. No big deal. But pink nails on a boy? It's not necessary."

Why is blurring the lines bad? Methinks you grew up to aspire to being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen making corn muffins with two squawling babies on your ankels. Sad, really.

I want my daughter to know she can support herself and doesn't need a man. I want my daugther to know she can go to work every day in stillettos and bring home the bacon. I want my son to know that he can nurture children just as well as any woman while wearing a hard hat if he chooses. Why shouldn't it be like that? Why is that "bad"? Strict gender roles only confine people, it doesn't help at all.

Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:" Funny how you talk about her screwing her kids up....When *I* think, you are the one screwing yours up. But meh.........That's my opinion."

Lol, yes, I am totally screwing my kids up by not telling my girls that they can't play with trucks and that wearing blue will get them picked on - you're so correct! Maybe I should also teach my daughter not to pursue things like the sciences because thats a mans world - wow, you have given me so much to think about!

Quoting Mandy Schlatterer:" Toys are different. I'd let my son have a doll and my daughter have a truck or whatever. But something ... [snip!] ... else and slept fine that night :p I'm just not sure what to say when he talks about who has a "wee wee" over and over lol"

Ok, so your thinking stems from trauma in your childhood - so you pass it on to your kids? O-o

Quoting LolaMcKitten:" I never said she had to listen - but again, we're on a public forum and she put it out there on the ... [snip!] ... discussion. And I wasn't giving her advice on her parenting, I was expressing how crappy that particular way of thinking is.  "

I think dressing your son as a girl to avoid gender stereotypes is pretty smurfed up and sick. He may be able to express himself as he wishes..........But once he's in the real world and he walks around wearing a tutu with his pink nails....Who do you think is going to suffer? Your son when he gets made fun of, picked on, and possibly even beat up.......

We live in a place where gays can't even get married...and you think people are going to just accept your son with his frilly little dress and barbie doll purse? YOU may not care if your son is accepted or not, but he will.

So...........I guess you could say your way of thinking is pretty crappy. But that's my opinion.

Quoting Brendan&Bethany'sMom:" I teach her everything she needs to know to become the intelligent young lady she needs to be one day. ... [snip!] ... mark. And if this makes me a bad parent so be it... I damn sure won't allow my son to wear a dress. Out of the question. "

My son's gone to school with bows in his hair and polish on his nails before. He's never once been bullied because of it. In fact, many of his guy friends have gender bender tendencies as well. Children who bully are products of their parents ill breeding, not the child's ill decisions.

Quoting LolaMcKitten:" Lol, yes, I am totally screwing my kids up by not telling my girls that they can't play with trucks ... [snip!] ... my daughter not to pursue things like the sciences because thats a mans world - wow, you have given me so much to think about! "

Wearing blue and playing with trucks is a little different than your son wearing pink nail polish and a dress now isn't it?

Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:" I think dressing your son as a girl to avoid gender stereotypes is pretty smurfed up and sick. He may ... [snip!] ... accepted or not, but he will. So...........I guess you could say your way of thinking is pretty crappy. But that's my opinion."

Did I say I just randomly dress my kid up in dresses? No, you are reading WAY too far into that. And maybe the fact that he would get bullied is a sure sign that other parent's still instill smurffy gender stereotypes.

Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:" Wearing blue and playing with trucks is a little different than your son wearing pink nail polish and a dress now isn't it?"

No? Not at all.

Quoting LolaMcKitten:" Did I say I just randomly dress my kid up in dresses? No, you are reading WAY too far into that. And ... [snip!] ... that. And maybe the fact that he would get bullied is a sure sign that other parent's still instill smurffy gender stereotypes. "

I'd rather instill smurffy gender stereotypes than let my child experience a horrible childhood, IMO.

Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:" I'd rather instill smurffy gender stereotypes than let my child experience a horrible childhood, IMO."

Yes, my kids have such a horrible childhood, you are so correct.