re: Hubbs is bein a a**wad

Quoting AppleDumplin:" i want to but we are having a baby together and i dont think that would be good we had a fight like this once befor and i dint see him for a week. we almost broke up over it too."

I would rather raise a child alone than with someone who has no respect for me. I'm not saying you should break up, but he needs to look at his actions and make some major changes.

eta that this has nothing to do with the strip club, but with the way he talked to you. It shows little to no respect.

i'm glad hubby doesn't go out anymore because I would have told him he can go live with his friends now. That is just rude and disrespectful to you, that was not right at all.

Quoting Vodka Knockers:" Well that's super smurffy of him... DH knows better than to lie about strip clubs because usually, I'm ... [snip!] ... being gone. That's just...Yeah, that alone would have lead me to say "Stay your ass out then for a week, see if I give a smurf.""

mabey i could show up and be nice. be there and not drink and be DD.
i was thinking this would work. then we could talk after and i tell him how dickish he was being and that thats not cool

but im very worreid since he lied to me that something eles is suppoesd to go down at the club or after

mabey if i wait until hes been there for a time i can check in and show up like I just wanted to hang out to, and if hes doing something id catch him

Quoting AppleDumplin:" i rather would go to strip clubs together. i dont really like it when he goes with out me and he knows ... [snip!] ... knows this. he even says he was fine with that and wouldnt. but my big problem is that he is lying to me! and why is he lying?"

Maybe he didn't know that the plan was to go to a strip club?
And then got upset about you checking up on him, making it seem like you don't trust him- which you obviously don't.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. God of Thunder:</b>" You having a baby together does not justify his behavior towards you."</blockquote>

This

Quoting AppleDumplin:" mabey i could show up and be nice. be there and not drink and be DD. i was thinking this would work. ... [snip!] ... hes been there for a time i can check in and show up like I just wanted to hang out to, and if hes doing something id catch him"

I don't know if I would show up. Mostly because this talk you would like to have isn't going to happen, if he's drinking. Talking to a drunk guy is useless, and you both need some time to cool off.

Quoting MommyToWesley:" Maybe he didn't know that the plan was to go to a strip club? And then got upset about you checking up on him, making it seem like you don't trust him- which you obviously don't."

i never no reason not to trust him before
but when he goes out with friends he always comes home. so my friend i texted and asked her why the spend the night and she said her man was coming home after they were done at the stripclub and she didnt know about why mine wasnt

Quoting AppleDumplin:" mabey i could show up and be nice. be there and not drink and be DD. i was thinking this would work. ... [snip!] ... hes been there for a time i can check in and show up like I just wanted to hang out to, and if hes doing something id catch him"

Showing up is a bad call. It's going to do nothing but make smurf worse.

Quoting Sam H.:" I don't know if I would show up. Mostly because this talk you would like to have isn't going to happen, if he's drinking. Talking to a drunk guy is useless, and you both need some time to cool off."

well i would not talk to him then and there jus in the morning before he goes to work

Quoting Sam H.:" I don't know if I would show up. Mostly because this talk you would like to have isn't going to happen, if he's drinking. Talking to a drunk guy is useless, and you both need some time to cool off."

This.
I've learned the hard way several times that talking to drunk people is about as useful as trying to tell a broom to sweep by it's self. Not gonna get through there.
I'd give him the night to cool off, maybe go out and do something myself, and then talk about it the first chance you get. It's really helped me and DH's communication if I sit down and say "This is a no judgement zone. All I want is the truth and there will be no negative repercussions. The past is the past, but I want to help our future." and he'll really open up much more than when he thinks he can possibly get into trouble.
Our communication has gotten pretty bomb because of it. I wouldn't even really look at it as he's lying to try and cover something he's doing at/after the strip club because that's establishing a dominant thought as to reason. I'd probably just sit down, explain the no judgement, and ask why he felt the need to distort the truth on it. If you straight up say lie, he'll get on the defensive. Fluff it, make it sound pretty. Just be sure to say "I'm not mad, but I was just curious why you didn't tell me the whole truth."

Quoting AppleDumplin:" i never no reason not to trust him before but when he goes out with friends he always comes home. ... [snip!] ... the night and she said her man was coming home after they were done at the stripclub and she didnt know about why mine wasnt"

Because he doesn't want to drink and drive?

Quoting Angel [Mariah's Mommy]:" Showing up is a bad call. It's going to do nothing but make smurf worse. "

you wouldnt show up?

ive really got it in my mind to do this and its getting harder to get the thought out.
like what if it has to do with another girl?

im not feeling very good about myself i stated out a little bit overweight and i have gained more than i should. i know its got to be a big turnoff for him, but other then that there hasnt been any fighting so i JDK

Quoting Angel [Mariah's Mommy]:" Because he doesn't want to drink and drive?"

i always am there to drive him if he cant a ride from his freinds tho

im so confused

Quoting AppleDumplin:" you wouldnt show up? ive really got it in my mind to do this and its getting harder to get the thought ... [snip!] ... more than i should. i know its got to be a big turnoff for him, but other then that there hasnt been any fighting so i JDK"

I wouldn't show up either. It's already apparent he's annoyed, so showing up I think would make it worse. He may just want to spend time with the guys.

but he lied! if it was just a nother normal night there is no need for lying!!

FML!!

i really wish i could go out to my own strip club with my gurls and get plastered and take lots of pictures of me surrounded by hunky dancers