moving in

My best friend wants opinions.


She's been dating her boyfriend for 7 smurfing years....
Her mom passed away last march, so ever since then her stepdad and her ( her brothers too but they don't really matter in this) have been working on the house to sell and split the money and go their own ways. ( my best friend still lives there with her child)
WELL her stepdad decided to put an offer on a condo and he is moving out in 2 weeks... the house hasn't sold yet though. My best friend is planning on staying there until it sells and then taking her tax money and her half of the house money with her to get a new place.

It's going to be rough for her to do alone, she has brought up hundreds of times to her boyfriend about moving in together. and he just out right smurfing refuses. He still lives with his mom too.

What would you do? I mean if you had been dating some guy for 7 years and he still refuses to move out with you.

TBH, I would reconsider my relationship if my boyfriend of 7yrs refused to live with me. Does he even have a good reason?

cut ties with him.

Personally, I would leave. Everyone has different values, though. I guess? I mean seven years is a long time...
If he still lives with his mom, it might be a security issue that he is dealing with. Either way I think it's time for him to be a man and step up to the plate.

Quoting ma ♥:" TBH, I would reconsider my relationship if my boyfriend of 7yrs refused to live with me. Does he even have a good reason?"

He says "it's not time yet"

That wouldn't fly with me.

Either he's too used to having mommy do everything for him, or he felt the relationship wasn't very strong. Either way, it'd be a deal breaker.

Um I wouldn't have stuck around for four years much less seven..

If she wanted him to move into a place for the two of them, it'd be different. I wouldn't move in to just move somewhere again either.

Quoting BeginTheRomance:" Personally, I would leave. Everyone has different values, though. I guess? I mean seven years is a long ... [snip!] ... might be a security issue that he is dealing with. Either way I think it's time for him to be a man and step up to the plate. "

I mean they even have a child together, well she got pregnant when they were broken up for a month.
But he took over completely as her dad.

Quoting Click Me Click Me!!!:" cut ties with him."

This!

7 years and not wanting to move in... yeah. Cut ties with the smurfer.

Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:" If she wanted him to move into a place for the two of them, it's be different. I wouldn't move in to just move somewhere again either."

No she wants it to be there starting place, I mean yeah they might end up moving farther down the road, who knows but she wants to move in together. I mean where the smurf is the relationship going if you havent even moved in together after 7 years.

Quoting The Doctor:" That wouldn't fly with me. Either he's too used to having mommy do everything for him, or he felt the relationship wasn't very strong. Either way, it'd be a deal breaker."

We both think it's the mommy thing, and him getting to do whatever the smurf he wants whenever the smurf he wants.

For sure reconsider my relationship.
SO and I moved in together after a few months (because he had no where else to go) but regardless I couldn't have seen us being together more than a year without living together in the first place.

Seven years is a long time, far longer than I would have waited.

Quoting InkDMomma:" He says "it's not time yet""

Well I mean, would it cause a struggle financially for him? Have they been stable the whole 7yrs they've been together?
Has your friend asked him when he thinks the right time will be? 7 years is a long ass time to still be dating & living separately.

Quoting InkDMomma:" I mean they even have a child together, well she got pregnant when they were broken up for a month. But he took over completely as her dad."

He's also her child's father (at least in practice if not biologically) and won't live with her?

Major red flags.