re: moving in

Quoting The Doctor:" He's also her child's father (at least in practice if not biologically) and won't live with her? Major red flags."

This I agree with.

Quoting The Doctor:" He's also her child's father (at least in practice if not biologically) and won't live with her? Major red flags."

  This.

Quoting ma ♥:" Well I mean, would it cause a struggle financially for him? Have they been stable the whole 7yrs they've ... [snip!] ... friend asked him when he thinks the right time will be? 7 years is a long ass time to still be dating & living separately."

Not at all, he makes BANK. Like some serious cash at a collision shop.
She has asked him and he says maybe in a few years.
I'm sorry but smurf that, you are going to wait MAYBE 10 years to move in with someone?!

Quoting InkDMomma:" We both think it's the mommy thing, and him getting to do whatever the smurf he wants whenever the smurf he wants."

Sounds like it to me.

And, from my experience (I'm sure there are some people that had different): those things don't change once they get used to it.

Quoting InkDMomma:" Not at all, he makes BANK. Like some serious cash at a collision shop. She has asked him and he says ... [snip!] ... him and he says maybe in a few years. I'm sorry but smurf that, you are going to wait MAYBE 10 years to move in with someone?!"

Yeah, I would cut it off with him. Screw that ish.

Quoting InkDMomma:" I mean they even have a child together, well she got pregnant when they were broken up for a month. But he took over completely as her dad."

So the child that he's been raising isn't really his? That could be the issue.. maybe he feels uncomfortable with it but is afraid to say so. Maybe he is still upset that she got pregnant by another guy....
How old are they?

Quoting ma ♥:" So the child that he's been raising isn't really his? That could be the issue.. maybe he feels uncomfortable ... [snip!] ... with it but is afraid to say so. Maybe he is still upset that she got pregnant by another guy.... How old are they?"

both are 24/25

Quoting InkDMomma:" Not at all, he makes BANK. Like some serious cash at a collision shop. She has asked him and he says ... [snip!] ... him and he says maybe in a few years. I'm sorry but smurf that, you are going to wait MAYBE 10 years to move in with someone?!"

Your friend needs to decide if she's going to wait around forever for him to be ready, or end the relationship now & start moving on.
That's not fair for her.

Quoting InkDMomma:" Not at all, he makes BANK. Like some serious cash at a collision shop. She has asked him and he says ... [snip!] ... him and he says maybe in a few years. I'm sorry but smurf that, you are going to wait MAYBE 10 years to move in with someone?!"

No way. He just wants to have his money for fun and have no responsibilities. IMO.

Quoting The Doctor:" No way. He just wants to have his money for fun and have no responsibilities. IMO."

I totally agree.

Me and DH have lived together for awile not my son is not his but treats him as his own we have are own daughter together now. If after 7 years he is still saying no its time to move the smurf on... It may be that he does not want to pay for bills he wants to be able to blow all his money.

why is she still even hanging onto him? I could maybe understand if the child was his, but obviously he doesn't really want to be a father to her child or else he would have manned the smurf up and moved in and actually be a father to the child and not be one from a distance. She needs to move on with her life and just focus on raising her child since it looks like his mom isn't done raising hers. Maybe he doesn't want to move in because they are not married? but if he hasn't even given her a promise ring then he is to much of a coward to say that he doesn't want to be in the relationship and she is just dangling by a rope