Withdrawing from Pre-K?

Hey everyone  

DD is almost 4 and she started Pre-K in December. We have had issue upon issue with her starting, and honestly, I think I should just withdraw her until next year. She loved Pre-K, but she is under the age cutoff, so NEXT year, she will need to be in Pre-K Again no matter what, and I'm thinking, why send her 2 years when she only needs 1 year? I just don't think she's ready....and so many things have been so stressful about it, that I feel like it's "telling" me it's just not the right time for her to go. Plus, she REFUSES to potty train...every time I try to get her to use the toilet, she runs away saying "I'm done with the potty, I want my diapers".   UGH LOL

AND her school has gotten 2 or 3 bomb threats in the last couple weeks since Newtown....THAT makes me nervous as hell, and they're not even upping security at all.

If I withdraw her, she DOES have a home school teacher come from the school each week to work with her, so that wouldn't end even if Pre-K did....So at least she'd still be getting a similar experience.

SO, I just don't know what to do...is it wrong of me to want to withdraw her? She had only been in school for a week before Xmas vacation happened, and hasn't asked to go back since (She's been kept out because I've been trying really hard to get her the flu shot, with no car, and with continual sickness, it hasn't happened). Ugh....this is frustrating....   I don't know what to do.....

Do what you think is best. I homeschool because I think that is what is best for my older son. I would be willing to HS him & then send the younger other even if I think that is best when the time comes for him. You know her & your situation, trust yourself to make a choice on it & then go with it.

If you don't feel it is right for her, then I wouldn't force it. Maybe you could look into a younger program like K-3 that is more geared towards her age group. I have a friend who started sending her son to K2 and he loves it. They have helped with his potty training, and he always talks about it. He will say I want Cool (School). I think the right learning environment could be better but I wouldn't force it right now.

If you feel she is not ready and you think she would be better at home than that's what I would do. My mom withdrew me from pre k. I went to dance class once a week instead and pre k the next year. It was one of the best things she ever did for me.

Quoting justanothamotha:" Do what you think is best. I homeschool because I think that is what is best for my older son. I would ... [snip!] ... when the time comes for him. You know her & your situation, trust yourself to make a choice on it & then go with it."

I've been homeschooling her since she was born, and I know it's paid off so far. When she was tested at the school, they were shocked by how much she knew- She knows far more than most of the kids her age, and she's closer to the level of a 5 year old already, so I know it's helping her. (She might have a learning disability though, at least they think she might). But anyways, I would LOVE to homeschool her forever, but I got divorced almost a year ago, and honestly, I can't afford to do it on my own...I need to start college once she's in kindergarten because I need to build a life for us....so I HAVE to send her to school eventually...my dilemma is that I feel bad sending her to school every day when she could be home with me for the rest of the year....She will be in pre-K in 2014 anyways, so really, she doesn't NEED pre-k right now...

It's just so damn difficult...

Quoting White Chocolate Milk:" If you don't feel it is right for her, then I wouldn't force it. Maybe you could look into a younger ... [snip!] ... it. He will say I want Cool (School). I think the right learning environment could be better but I wouldn't force it right now."

That's true, Thank you

She will only be this little once in her whole life. You are teaching her things. She is learning and growing. And next year she will pick up on everything they teach. Why make her do it twice? IMO if you want to, which it sounds like you do... Pull her out and spend the year with her, before school starts.

Quoting kate & tilly:" If you feel she is not ready and you think she would be better at home than that's what I would do. My ... [snip!] ... pre k. I went to dance class once a week instead and pre k the next year. It was one of the best things she ever did for me."

Thank you, that's very helpful. I was actually thinking of enrolling her in a dance class on the weekends, there's a studio/theatre right down the road and I've worked at the theatre before, so I know it's a great little place. Since DD will only be old enough for Pre-K next year anyways, I think maybe this year she'd be better off with me....Did the dance class help your interaction skills with other kids? If you remember anyways hahaha

Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:" She will only be this little once in her whole life. You are teaching her things. She is learning and ... [snip!] ... do it twice? IMO if you want to, which it sounds like you do... Pull her out and spend the year with her, before school starts."

That's what I was thinking, but the school made me feel so guilty...they made me feel like I was doing her an injustice by keeping her with me for one more year, and I felt pressured. They cornered me the day I took her in to get her tested for learning disabilities, and I just gave in because I felt so bad. You're absolutely right.

I would keep her home. If it isn't really benefiting her then why send her, kwim? It's not like you can't do what you were doing before. And wow, they can't go to school without the flu shot?!

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~*~Modern*Day*Delilah~*~:</b>" That's what I was thinking, but the school made me feel so guilty...they made me feel like I was doing ... [snip!] ... I took her in to get her tested for learning disabilities, and I just gave in because I felt so bad. You're absolutely right. "</blockquote>

That's not right :/

I understand how you feel. The bomb threats are scary, that would probably be enough for me to pull her out, especially if they're not doing anything about it. My daughter's preschool has done a lot with their security procedures.
Also this is her first year and because of the cut off date being her birthday, I could have sent her last year too, but I thought the two years would be unnecessary. I have to say while she was definitely more ready this year and loves it and all that, I have noticed the kids who she will be going to kindergarten with next year who are already in their 2nd year are socially more ahead than her, it's clear they're used to the school environment. When I drop her off I notice those kids playing together automatically and she is more shy, she'd rather hang back with me, even when I tell her to go play, she likes to wait with me and hold my hand. In class she only plays with a few kids, while I know she likes everyone fine, she would rather play by herself or read or draw, her teachers and the other parents comment on how smart, sweet and quiet she is, while at home she's not quiet at all.
It makes me wonder if I should have sent her last year, because next year she'll go from half to full days and I want her to be ready for that. She does love it though, I can't bribe her to stay home, she is upset she can't go tomorrow and doesn't get why.
So other than her being so much more shy than the two year kids, and wondering if that would be different if I would have sent her or if that's just her nature, I'm pretty happy with my decision not to send her for two years.
In your situation, I wouldn't feel bad pulling her out, you know what's best for her and it won't hurt her.

Quoting ~*~Modern*Day*Delilah~*~:" I've been homeschooling her since she was born, and I know it's paid off so far. When she was tested ... [snip!] ... year....She will be in pre-K in 2014 anyways, so really, she doesn't NEED pre-k right now... It's just so damn difficult..."

I am not sure if you thought I was suggesting you should homeschool. I was saying trust your judgement, like I trust mine. I was quite literal when I said my 2nd may go right into school, he seems to love it.....and I may still HS my first. I do what I can do & what works best for everyone. If you think it is good, send her, if you think it is not, then don't. That is all I was trying to say. Trust yourself to know the right thing to do & do it. Don't worry over whatever may or may not happen. If you don't need her to go right now & it doesn't seem to be working out well, then don't. You said yourself, she knows what she needs to know already anyway.

Quoting justanothamotha:" I am not sure if you thought I was suggesting you should homeschool. I was saying trust your judgement, ... [snip!] ... & it doesn't seem to be working out well, then don't. You said yourself, she knows what she needs to know already anyway."

Haha No, I didn't think you meant that   I was just saying that I wish I could do that, it would really be my preferred choice if I could....It's just a really hard decision to make, I had no idea it'd be so hard JUST to figure out schooling   That is NOT in the parenting books I read! lol

Quoting Third Time Mommy:" I understand how you feel. The bomb threats are scary, that would probably be enough for me to pull her ... [snip!] ... her for two years. In your situation, I wouldn't feel bad pulling her out, you know what's best for her and it won't hurt her."

Awww, She sounds very similar to DD. She is very hyper etc at home, but at school around the kids, she doesn't interact with them the way that is "normal" (They say normal, but I think everyone has a different personality, hell, even *I* hang back from the crowd and I'm 23) But yeah, I feel the same way you do, I wonder if 2 years would benefit her...or if ONE more year fully with me will benefit her as much or more? I mean, she knows more than many of the kids in her class already, and some have been in learning programs for over a year. I just don't know....And the bomb threats? hell yeah, they are terrifying. And since the school isn't doing anything, I wonder if I should wait a while to see if they get their act together by NEXT year? We'll see I guess....