Quoting khaynette:" I dont know if this is the right spot. But i need other peoples thoughts. I have a 1 and 4 yr old boys. ... [snip!] ... anywhere without being humiliated by their actions and feeling judged by every wandering eye. I dont know what to do anymore."
that totally sucks, my heart goes out to you
i haven't experienced anything like this, but logically, there are two possibilities;
1. your kids require special attention or help that you aren't providing. maybe your oldest needs a therapist? medication?
2. your kids are perfectly ordinary, average, healthy kids but you don't know how to control them. this is fine, no reflection on you as a person. i sure as smurf wouldn't know how to control two boy toddlers!
point being, is #2 is a skill set like any other. you CAN learn it. read some books. try new discipline methods. go to a professional, ask for for tips. persist, persist, keep trying. you CAN learn. you WILL get them under control and get to live the life you wanted.
good luck !!