re: SO hogging DD *VENT*

he has serious problems. i would NEVER be with someone like that, and i'd never everrrrr let my child be raised by someone so controlling selfish and just plain rude and mean.

do you see this getting any better? i think he needs an ultimatum to wake his ass up.

babies are blessing. every one is to be cherished. he's only hurting your daughter by playing these stupid keep away games.

Quoting TrollMama:" I do flip my smurf. Before, when it was just us (and we were not ever planning to have children, never ... [snip!] ... just that they would NEVER see her at all. I got so upset I didn't talk to him for the rest of the day. Still haven't."

Oh hell no. This can only get worse. I mean, what's going to happen when your child is able to understand and can see the hostility, what's going to happen when your child asks to see your family? and what's going to happen if anything does happen to you?! (hoping it doesn't) I'm putting myself in your position trying to envision my parents never seeing our kids again because of DH. I would never forgive him. and I could never forgive myself for letting that happen. He's denying your child a family that wants to love that baby!

Quoting TrollMama:" I do flip my smurf. Before, when it was just us (and we were not ever planning to have children, never ... [snip!] ... just that they would NEVER see her at all. I got so upset I didn't talk to him for the rest of the day. Still haven't."

Well if something happened to you, your parents could take him to court for visitation rights as the grandparents.

The sad thing is.. if something did happen to me, Grandparents don't have rights anyway unless there's a custody arrangement I think. Ack. I have no idea what to do. My family really ARE dysfunctional so there's no way they could ever have a custody arrangement. My mom's a compulsive gambler, my dad's an alcoholic (not every day, not sloppy messy drunk, but still fits the criteria), and they rescue dogs and keep them in their house so it isn't like a custody arrangement with them is possible. For them to have a relationship with her, it requires them to be able to come to our home or to meet in a public place. Without his cooperation, that will never happen. Without his cooperation, I will have to arrange "visitation" with everyone -- including him, because I can't take this moral superiority. People have faults but there are ways to give them opportunities to be involved with their family while minimizing exposure to those faults. If DD was in danger that'd be one thing... SO's biological father was a steroid taking rage-monster and though they split up, my MIL didn't trash his dad in front of SO because she wanted him to have his own opinion and his own relationship without taking a cue from theirs. I wish he could be that generous to his own daughter.

Quoting TrollMama:" I brought it up to him, how unfair he is, and you know what he said? "They already have five grand/great ... [snip!] ... anymore and he's over here asking me when is my post partum checkup to see if we can have sex again.... AS IF WE WILL BE, ugh."

bump that! i wouldn't put up with that. i love my family dearly. i couldn't just not let them see my kid(s). my mom has something like 14 grandchildren and 1 great grandson...she was excited about every one of their births, and loves each one of them to bits. she, and the rest of my family would be heartbroken if they couldn't see my DD.

honestly, i couldn't be with a guy like that.

Quoting TrollMama:" The sad thing is.. if something did happen to me, Grandparents don't have rights anyway unless there's ... [snip!] ... own opinion and his own relationship without taking a cue from theirs. I wish he could be that generous to his own daughter."

why the smurf are you talking about your death, and custody arrangements?! that's not the issue here -- your boyfriend is a controlling selfish douche bag. staying with him and letting your daughter think its okay to be controlled and emotionally abused by a man is so not okay.

drop off the key Lee, make a new plan Stan, you dont need to be coy Roy... just listen to me - GTFO!

Someone mentioned my parents could try for custody and I was highlighting that they couldn't...

Quoting TrollMama:" Someone mentioned my parents could try for custody and I was highlighting that they couldn't..."

why does that even matter?

you have a disgusting rude controlling douche of a boyfriend... dont have anything to say about that? you like being emotionally and verbally abused? im sure your daughter will just love it herself. hopefully she will grow up and be married to a great abusive dickface like her daddy! if only!

... It was part of the conversation.

Also, I like how you send me a personal message telling me I'm a smurf mother because of the way I jokingly describe myself as "Troll Mama" in my profile.

Yeah, I don't want her to grow up like this. I'm just not sure if it will get better if we leave because he will still be around her, and then he will be around her without me. I'm trying to give my daughter the best life she can have, we didn't plan for kids so I'm flying by the seat of my pants. SO certainly does shut up when I get angry enough. If we are separated, I worry the smurf will continue without end. I didn't realize he was such a poisonous sort of person because the situation was different when there were only tow.

But I don't know why I'm expressing all of this to you, you are certain that I'm a smurffy mom. Excuse me for hesitating to make a huge life altering decision when my child is 5 weeks old.

Also... he's not my boyfriend. He's my husband. It's not exactly the same as just getting up and getting the hell out of dodge, legally.

Quoting TrollMama:" ... It was part of the conversation. Also, I like how you send me a personal message telling me I'm ... [snip!] ... are certain that I'm a smurffy mom. Excuse me for hesitating to make a huge life altering decision when my child is 5 weeks old."

girl... its sad. have some respect for yourself and your child.

<blockquote><b>Quoting shes*almost*one!:</b>" why does that even matter? you have a disgusting rude controlling douche of a boyfriend... dont have ... [snip!] ... will just love it herself. hopefully she will grow up and be married to a great abusive dickface like her daddy! if only! "</blockquote>




Wow that was just a bit extreme, I do agree that if my husband ever tried to do that smurf I would've filed for a divorce already, but calling some a bad parent because of it is just sad, a bad parent is someone that doesn't care or take care of their child. Obviously she does care since she isn't letting her DH have his way and still let's her family see her child.