My four and a half year old is laying here on the ground next to me, throwing a fit yelling PLEASE PLEASE in order for me to get up, walk in her room, and grab a towel out of her pink towel box. The towels are there, she knows where they are and it's easy for her today. QUICK: how should I handle this? she is screaming and kicking. She rarely does this but has been acting out earlier. I appreciate any advice for future reference but I need some other mom opinions right now so I know how to quickly react to this behavior with her.

Ignore her?
Put her in time out?
etc?

(i have been talking and explaining it to her) I'm going to further my questions about this in another post but I need some advice on how to react right now.

Repeat to her where they are and that she can go get it herself, then ignore the tantrum.

Idk and this is not meant to sound rude but sitting there typing to us while ignoring her isn't going to help any. She's just going to try harder to get your attention and get you to do what she wants.

Pick her up, take her to her room and set her on her bed. Explain to her that as long as she is acting that way you are not going to listen or pay any attention. Walk out of the room and shut the door and check on her in about 4 minutes. If she has calmed down explain to her what she did wrong (throwing a fit because she did not get her way) and let her know that next time she can avoid the time out by getting the towels herself and not throwing a fit?

Also... as a parent I've learned to pick my battles. I'm the type that would have jsut gotten up and gotten the towel for her (Before she threw the fit, if she started throwing a fit then heck no because that's making her think she'll get her way by having a fit) But if my daughter had simply asked me to get it for her, I would have rather than having to deal with a meltdown. Pick your battles  

I would explain where the towels are and make her sit in time out until she calms down.

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" Repeat to her where they are and that she can go get it herself, then ignore the tantrum."

 

<blockquote><b>Quoting Alyssa's mommy [EBFT]:</b>" Idk and this is not meant to sound rude but sitting there typing to us while ignoring her isn't going ... [snip!] ... daughter had simply asked me to get it for her, I would have rather than having to deal with a meltdown. Pick your battles  "</blockquote>




Ignoring a tantrum IS helping. She needs to learn that acting out will not give her the attention she wants

Ignore her until she calms down

Quoting Alyssa's mommy [EBFT]:" Idk and this is not meant to sound rude but sitting there typing to us while ignoring her isn't going ... [snip!] ... daughter had simply asked me to get it for her, I would have rather than having to deal with a meltdown. Pick your battles  "

I have already done this. I pick my battles but I am also not her slave and she needs to know this. She is almost five years old and is clearly capable of getting the towel to dry her toys off with herself. I am typing and ignoring her right now because I have talked to her, gotten down to her level, set her aside and given her time to think about how she is behaving, and told her that until she calms down I am going to ignore her. Thank you for the advice and I'll repeat these steps next time.

Quoting 3 little monsters:" Ignore her until she calms down"

I did and now she is calm but still whining and saying please please please help me, I am saying No, she is capable of getting it herself. She does this constantly about doing things for herself, How can I get rid of this behavior and help her understand she is old enough to be responsible and help herself when it comes to easy things?

when my kids had trantrums i would just keep going about what i was doing. the only thing I ever would say is " make it a good one" and tantrums actually ended fast.

Quoting Stevah:" I did and now she is calm but still whining and saying please please please help me, I am saying No, ... [snip!] ... rid of this behavior and help her understand she is old enough to be responsible and help herself when it comes to easy things?"

By doing what you did, LOL, ignoring the tantrum and not giving in. She'll eventually start doing more for herself when she finally realizes you aren't going do it for her no matter how much she screams.

Quoting 3 little monsters:" By doing what you did, LOL, ignoring the tantrum and not giving in. She'll eventually start doing more ... [snip!] ... start doing more for herself when she finally realizes you aren't going do it for her no matter how much she screams. "

okay, good. i always doubt myself because i feel so guilty about just not giving in and making her happy, BUT i am getting better as a mom about sticking to my guns and teaching them to be good people.

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" Repeat to her where they are and that she can go get it herself, then ignore the tantrum."

Agreed! I wouldn't put her in time out.. she hasn't done anything WRONG, she's just being too needy.
My almost 4yr old is like that alot. It drives me crazy because he's totally capable of getting is own juice box from the fridge...

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" Repeat to her where they are and that she can go get it herself, then ignore the tantrum."

Agreed.
LO used to throw seriously violent tantrums that resulted in me getting a busted lip, and left bruises on both DH and myself. We had to restrain him while he threw tantrums because he'd hurt himself and by restraining him, it gave him the opportunity to hurt us. So we started padding a corner of the room with thick blankets, sitting him on it when he was in tantrum mode, and let him work through it himself. When we started doing this and ignoring his tantrums, they decreased in severity.
Surprisingly, ignoring tantrums can go a loooong way.