Forums > Single ParentingPage 1 2by: ☆Tiffanyyy☆

Abuse from BD

posted 19th Jan
Getty ladies.
Okay so here's my story. I need advice please.

Last January I moved from Ohio to Florida with the boyfriend (now ex)
We were together for a few months in Ohio I met him while he was
Working here. Things were good when we were here he always helped me
Out we got along really well and I fell in love and moved to Florida with him.

Once we got to Florida things changed, whenever he would get mad at me
We'd fight and he would choke me, hold me up in the air by my throat and push me around and what not. I'm 21 and before that have never been in an abusive relationship. It's horrible. I ended up leaving driving myself all the way back home and I found out I was pregnant. So I let him know. After about a month and him going to counseling for anger management I decided to try to make things work and went back to him, everything seemed better at first and one day when he was drinking he hit me again chased me down the road, never try to outrun a guy it never works. And what hurts me even more is that I was pregnant. So I left the next morning.

We didn't have contact for a while. My whole pregnancy I've been in Ohio since I left, after a while I decided to unblock him and see if he was planning on ever seeing his son. He never helped with getting him anything before he was born and now my son is 8 days old.

He wants to see him now, I'm really having a hard time with this because I don't want anything bad to happen again. I will never be back with him. I don't wanna be that girl ya know. But we have a son together and I know he has the right to see him if he wants. I'm in fear for myself and my son.

If you have advice on what I should do, shouldn't do, or whatever please feel free to let me know. Message me If you've been in the same boat.

Thanks! Sorry so long.
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I have 1 child & live in Ohio
posted 19th Jan
STAY AWAY UNTIL HE GETS HELP!! I wouldnt trust him at all
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I live in New York
posted 19th Jan
Well considering I was in an abusive relationship before AND my father abused my mother for years when I was a kid I will tell you that letting a man like that into your child's life is not a good idea. If the abuse was reported and he wanted visitation rights I would fight to make them supervised. He could either end up trying to us your son to control and hurt you or hurt you child.
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I have 3 kids & live in AMITE, Louisiana
posted 19th Jan
Stay far far away from him, he's nothing but trouble! Don't use your child as an excuse to see him.
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I have 1 child & 1 angel baby & live in California
posted 19th Jan
And if he tries to see him what. Would he have to get the courts involved if I don't let him or have any contact with hm?
quote
I have 1 child & live in Ohio
posted 19th Jan
No! Please do not get back with him, just think of him doing the things that he did to you to the sweet little baby of yours.
He is just being a manipulative man and trying to weasel his way back with you. I have known people in situations similar to yours and they got back with the guy and the guy was slapping the baby around and shaking it.
It is the hardest thing to get out of an abusive relationship because you are scared and you know the love that you felt.
But your momma instinct should be to protect your little one.
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I have 1 child & live in Minnesota
posted 19th Jan
<blockquote><b>Quoting ☆Tiffanyyy☆:</b>" And if he tries to see him what. Would he have to get the courts involved if I don't let him or have any contact with hm?"</blockquote>




He can. But I'd say "See ya in court!" I'd fight it. Seriously
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I live in New York
posted 19th Jan
Do not let him see or take the child without a custody plan in place because if you do he can take the child and never give him back. Like I said stay away from him. If he wants to see his child he can go through the courts for visitation.
quote
I have 1 child & 1 angel baby & live in California
posted 19th Jan
<blockquote><b>Quoting ☆Tiffanyyy☆:</b>" And if he tries to see him what. Would he have to get the courts involved if I don't let him or have any contact with hm?"</blockquote>




He would have to get a court ordered DNA test before they would "force" you to let him see the baby. I'm guessing you never documented the abuse?
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I have 1 child & 3 angel babies & live in Vancouver, British Columbia
posted 19th Jan
I've been there... its not easy, I'm sorry...

If u meet him do it in a public place or even police station...

U need to go to court and get full custody of baby... please do that, if he's abusive to u and u don't give him that chance to hurt u he will hurt u thru the baby... deans dad did this and took my son for 6 weeks and because he was his father I couldn't do aything...

He's now 6 1/2 and I have 50/50 custody with his dad, and things are finally ok, we co parent as best we can and do things with my family and his my ex is always invited,

There is hope for the future, but always be on ur toes with him, u can talk to me for whatever anytime, please be careful
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I have 3 kids & live in California
posted 19th Jan
Quoting ☆Tiffanyyy☆:" And if he tries to see him what. Would he have to get the courts involved if I don't let him or have any contact with hm?"

Yes he would have to fight for rights and I would have any and all proof of the abuse when you went. Don't take the risk of putting you or your child's safety in to that creep's hands.
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I have 3 kids & live in AMITE, Louisiana
posted 19th Jan
Quoting ☆Tiffanyyy☆:" And if he tries to see him what. Would he have to get the courts involved if I don't let him or have any contact with hm?"

"In Ohio, an unmarried mother is considered to have sole physical and legal custody of the child, unless an Ohio family court determines someone else to be the legal or physical guardian"

You have sole physical and legal custody unless he requests otherwise, but is he really going to be able to afford thousands of dollars in lawyer and court fees to do so?
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I have 1 child & live in Minnesota
posted 19th Jan
No I never got the police involved. I should of but just left instead of dealing with all of that. I regret that now.
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I have 1 child & live in Ohio
posted 19th Jan
Bad, bad idea. Why'd you even open the gates of communication back up? You were BOTH better off without him.
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I'm due July 31st, have 3 kids & live in Kansas
posted 19th Jan
<blockquote><b>Quoting ☆Tiffanyyy☆:</b>" No I never got the police involved. I should of but just left instead of dealing with all of that. I regret that now."</blockquote>




You also shouldn't have told him you were pregnant if he's like that IMO.
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I have 1 child & 3 angel babies & live in Vancouver, British Columbia
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