re: Abuse from BD

Quoting ☆Tiffanyyy☆:" No I never got the police involved. I should of but just left instead of dealing with all of that. I regret that now."

Well now that he knows sadly it may start again. DO NOT hesitate to get a order for protection against him if he starts making threats repeatedly or harassing you. And from this point forward you should use a notebook and document everything threatening, hurtful, harassing etc. That he says or does to you. Date it and time it, put proof (messages from FB) etc.

Idk about the state u live in but in tennessee we have a law stating that a child born out of wedlock full custody atomatically goes to the mother, wich would mean that the father has no rights to the baby unless i say so or it gets aranged in court. If i was you id do some research & if u have the same law then u cannot get into trouble if u deny him visits. Plus if he wasnt there to sign anything at birth saying he was the father then he would have to get a paternity test to prove its his child to even attepmt to take u to court for visitations. And if that was to happen you can try & request suprvised visits due to the abuse. If they don't believe you then they could give him more rights to the baby but you can always get a lawyer & fight it. But please don't willingly see him or let the baby see him. People liket that often don't change. But good luck with everything.

You guys live in different states. If he files for joint custody and got it then it would be left to you 2 to decide on the method of that. Meet half way, person receiving child drives 100%, he drives always, you drive always. It's messy and expensive. Odds are he will not want to do it. But if you think he will file, make sure you file first. That way you won't have to travel to FL for the court dates, unless you prefer doing it in FL. Go to court if you have too, but don't let him into your life again. And from now on document everything. A paper trail will help you.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ☆Tiffanyyy☆:</b>" And if he tries to see him what. Would he have to get the courts involved if I don't let him or have any contact with hm?"</blockquote>




I went through this with my ex. Yes, he too did counceling and anger management. you need to be very careful. for some reason, men like him I know just what to say to get their foot back in the door. you have not only yourself to protect but also your new little baby. I went to court and got supervised visits. did you ever call the police or get a restraining order or a no contact order? these are things that will help you prove your case, when and if you do have to go to court. if you don't have any of those may be a witness to something he did to you. it is best to keep him out of your life the best you can, and make sure his time with your baby is monitored. people have been known to do stupid, hurtful, and on speakable things out of spite. don't let you or your baby be another 1 of those stories. keep safe and good luck

Thanks for everyone's advice. I'm going to get the courts involved. I love my baby so much and it helps a lot that I know he could do what he's done to me to my son. I filed for child support and I know with that he has to go through the courts If he wants to take him so that's a start. Does anybody know how to go through the courts do I have to get a lawyer?

no you don't have to get a lawyer, but if you have any way of affording it I would highly suggest it. I did a lot of mine, but I spent many hours in a courthouse library trying to figure it all out. Every state is different, but some states will have support for low income women in your situation. My state had something called a victims advocacy program. They at least looked over my paperwork to make sure I had it filled out correctly. The bad thing about courts is, the judges have no patience at all. They deal with cases like this everyday, so if you go in there with something filled out wrong or heaven forbid filed in correctly, the judges will often concentrate more, on how you filed in correctly as opposed to the danger that yourself and your child may be in. Sometimes just going to your local court house, and asking questions in their law library, can get you pointed in the right direction. good luck.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ☆Tiffanyyy☆:</b>" Thanks for everyone's advice. I'm going to get the courts involved. I love my baby so much and it helps ... [snip!] ... the courts If he wants to take him so that's a start. Does anybody know how to go through the courts do I have to get a lawyer?"</blockquote>




You don't have to if he start getting crazy, then u should, I had to get 1 when my ex started telling them I was a drug addict, alcoholic, ect...

Look for free legal aid in ur area, they will prepare ur docs for u when u go file u can ask ffor fee waiver they won't charge u filing fees,

If u need any help or questions let me know,   I was in court for 2 years fighting with him, costed 7,500. For the last few dates we had in court, congrats on ur lil 1... ur going to be ok   be careful...