When I was pregnant with my son, it was like I had no hormones at all. I handled them very well. I wasn't overly emotional or anything. But now since I have had him my hormones have been out of whack. I have been so mean to my SO & he is an amazing man. He soesn't deserve that. There have been a few issues going on, but none of which is really his fault. But I take it out on him. I have never been the type to yell or insult someone & lately it comes out like word vomit. I swear, it's like my brain doesn't even think about the things I am about to say...I just say them. He knows I haven't been myself lately, so he doesn't hold any of this against me. But that makes me feel even worse, because I don't deserve such a great guy.
My son is the only thing that makes me happy. He is my pride & joy. But when he is asleep & I have time to think, I get upset about whatever issues I have been having with SO all over again. Bring it back up & then we end up arguing.
Basically, this post is to ask what I can do to cope. I don't want to be put on meds. I EBF & want to continue to do so no matter what. But I do not want this PPD to ruin my relationship, before this...we never had a single argument. We were picture perfect happy, I really want to get back to that.
I had to go on prozac, I was still able to breast feed while on it. I am bipolar and unmedicated usually, but when my 2nd son was about 4 weeks I had to admit that I needed help. I really didn't want to be medicated, but I knew it was the best choice at the time because my sons needed me to be able to take care of them. It was a sucky situation, sucky time in my life (my son had horrible colic and the ppd) but we made it through. You aren't alone, good luck and only you can decide what is best for you.
I was the same way with DH after Alyssa was born. He was walking on eggshells with his every move. I was always angry at him and didn't know why. To this day, I don't understand why he stayed with me after the way I treated him.
Anyways, when MIL pointed out PPD, it clicked in my head, and I called my doctor to get seen. She put me on Zolfot, which (IMO) worked wonders.
Anyways... Letters are starting to move, that's my cue that bedtime is approaching fast.