So my boyfriend wants to have sex..

I just had a baby May 5. During my pregnancy I met this amazing guy. He's been there for me the entire thing, loves my daughter to death, he's just great. He stayed with me the 1st night I was in the hospital. He took care of me, wiped my head when I got hot, helped me out when I needed to get up, down, or find something. He's been so amazing. I love him so much. But, I've been really weird about doing anything sexual with him. I rushed into things with Mashaela's [my daughter] father and ended up getting pregnant after us only dateing 4 months. I don't want to rush into things with my boyfriend either. But at the same time I really want us to be able to have a sexual life, too. Plus, I heard from alot of woman that sex really hurts after haveing a child.
My boyfriend is a virgin. He says he's ready to have sex when Iam again. His birthday is July 13 and lately he's been hinting around about haveing sex on his birthday. I really want to, but there's alot of issues with it. Atleast in my head. Pregnancy isn't neccesarily one of them. I have an appt in 3 weeks to get Mirena so I'm pretty sure I'm good there. But, first off, it's his birthday and it would be his first time. I'm worried about it hurting me so bad I have to make him stop. I wouldn't want my pain ruining his birthday, much less his first time haveing sex. Is there anyway I can try to make sure it doesn't hurt, or atleast not hurt to extremely?
2nd, my weight. I'm back to normal for the most part. But my stomach is still flabby and gross looking. I want to look good for him. If I started like 2m and walked/ran and did sit ups every day and stayed on a diet, could I be atleast half way back to a flat stomach by his birthday?
I'm just worried about it not being a great day for him. I waisted my virginity completely. I don't want him to feel the same way. I want it to be as perfect as I can try to make it for him. Any advice would be really great. Thnx so much to any and all that reply.

you can do other things then go all the way.. Be like this is the beginning just wait until i get my body back to where it used to be. 

I would say that if you can't be 'yourself' around him, PP or not maybe you shouldn't have sex with him.

And if you guys love eachother than if it does turn out painful for you, he shouldn't have a problem stopping.

IMO.

edit to add- I'm not trying to sound like a heartless bitch saying that stuff about being 'yourself' because I know how bad I felt I looked after I first had my daughter. But, I knew that my boyfriend would accept my body no matter how it looked.

Hmm..how about take it easy on the sex...? Do not have it. But that does not mean you cannot give him something if you know what I mean? He would appreciate that. You have to be happy and comfortable with yourself first before you can make someone feel the same otherwise it will be a disaster.

JMO, but you're 17 and just had a child, maybe you shouldn't be thinking about sex with another guy right now. Maybe you should strengthen your relationship with him first. From what you wrote, it sounds like you're feeling pressure to do something sexual with him and that's probably not the way you want your first time with him to be. I say give it time and see where things go.

I guess you are all right. But at the same time, I can't help but wanting to have sex with him. He says he doesn't mind the way my stomach looks because he knows it won't always be there and it's because I had Mashaela. I think it's more about me feeling comfortable then him when it comes to my stomach. But I am worried about it hurting too much by the time his birthday roles around, even tho by then it will be over 2 months PP.
Maybe next time we're alone I'll let him try something out with his hands [sorry if that is TMI lol] and if that feels okie we might be able to work our way up to it. I just know he really seems to want to and I would love to, so long as I'm not in horrific pain. No what I'm sayin?

Quoting aberoxy18:“ JMO, but you're 17 and just had a child, maybe you shouldn't be thinking about sex with another guy right ... [snip!] ... with him and that's probably not the way you want your first time with him to be. I say give it time and see where things go.”

You're right. To be honest, I've gone back and forth about it because I was hopeing to wait a good while before we had sex. As much as I want to have sex with him, I don't. It's a confusing feeling.

Quoting KaeKae:“ You're right. To be honest, I've gone back and forth about it because I was hopeing to wait a good while before we had sex. As much as I want to have sex with him, I don't. It's a confusing feeling.”

I understand what you're saying but I think that if you have any reservations, you should wait.

well if i was in your position, i would have waited until i was ready to be married to the guy. especially since he's a virgin, and you could be "like" a virgin. why not make it something very special between you two? kind of like a renewal for you. it will make it all the more meaningful. especially since you are still 17, who knows what life has to offer you still. thats just me talking from a "if i could go back" stand point. so by all means if itfeels right then do it, but i know how out of control you can feel when it comes to sex when you have the hormones raging against your brain.

Quoting aberoxy18:“ I understand what you're saying but I think that if you have any reservations, you should wait.”

>] Thnx. Maybe I'll find a nice way to say we should wait a little longer after his birthday. As much as we want to, we can substain ourselves. I'll just come up with an alternative motive. lol

It sounds like he really cares about you. I don't think he would ever feel like he 'wasted' his virginity. I think that if you feel comfortable, and are ready by then, you should go for it. But if you are NOT 100% ready, than I think you already know it will not be 'good'. Not even physically, but emotionally as well!

I hope it all works out. Good luck!

Quoting lolajessup:“ well if i was in your position, i would have waited until i was ready to be married to the guy. especially ... [snip!] ... do it, but i know how out of control you can feel when it comes to sex when you have the hormones raging against your brain.”

I would love the whole "wait until marriage" idea. I always wanted that. But then I got really screwed up back in 9th grade. I started doing drugs and partying none stop. I gave up my virginity to a guy I dated for 2 weeks just to get back at my ex. I was really f'd in the head. I've gotten alot better tho. I've been clean and all. Gotten my grades up, been looking into college. The only mess up I had since all that was accidentally getting pregnant. But I wouldn't give her up for the world. >]
I just don't know if the marriage waiting gig is still in the cards for me tho. I mean, it sounds great. But, you just never know when you'll be 100% ready to do something or when you'll decide to change your mind. You know?

Quoting Erica. ♥:“ It sounds like he really cares about you. I don't think he would ever feel like he 'wasted' his virginity. ... [snip!] ... you already know it will not be 'good'. Not even physically, but emotionally as well! I hope it all works out. Good luck!”

Thank you! >]

Quoting KaeKae:“ Thank you! >]”

No problem sweetie.

Quoting KaeKae:“ I would love the whole "wait until marriage" idea. I always wanted that. But then I got really screwed ... [snip!] ... great. But, you just never know when you'll be 100% ready to do something or when you'll decide to change your mind. You know?”

i think if you really wanted to have the committed feeling(maybe not particularly marriage, but maybe like a few years of dating, or maybe even being engaged) it would still be in the cards. i know you screwed up in the past, but think about it, you're with a virgin, you are kind of like a virgin again since it's all gonna be different for you now. you're with a new guy who mutually cares about you. theres no rule that says just because you had se already that you have to have sex with the next guy right away. do what feels right to you. you sound like you're getting your life on the right track. good luck