Quoting Mary.:" Since he is getting help with the drugs id allow it as often as possible.. But have a talk about how the visits need to be about the kids."
Quoting [JadeLee]:" I would set up a schedule and stick strictly to it, if he decides not to come one day then he doesn't ... [snip!] ... I assume you don't want to be with him every day either. Say Tuesday and Thursday each week. Or Monday, Wednesday Friday."
Quoting anonymom + 1.5:" Not particularly lol. Thanks! We will definitely have to make it scheduled and not random."That was the problem I had with BD when he was in DD's life.
Quoting anonymom + 1.5:" I split up with my kids' dad for good at about 4-6 weeks pregnant (DS was born on the 5th). From us ... [snip!] ... more bullsmurf than I posted here, I have finally come to terms with his violence and anger issues)? DO NOT QUOTE DO NOT QUOTE"
Quoting [JadeLee]:" That was the problem I had with BD when he was in DD's life. He thought it was okay for him to come ... [snip!] ... was not OK, and it really effected my ability to have a relationship with anyone else (which was what he wanted I am sure)."
Quoting pitbullprincess:" call social services about what you want with the visits they can help you work things out to coming ... [snip!] ... classes if he wants unsupervised visits etc. one of the few times I can say to use social services to your advantage right now "
Quoting anonymom + 1.5:" Like DHHR/DHS? I definitely need to get this all in writing... should it be notarized or is just the ... [snip!] ... Does it need to be fancy or just "So and So will visit on this day and this day at these times as possible, etc" and signed?"
Quoting anonymom + 1.5:" Yep! Mine's threatened any hypothetical future boyfriend... and seems to think he controls my life. ... [snip!] ... about his opinion but it still sucks. It doesn't dissolve into senseless arguments, though, which is what I think he wants."Yeah in that case I would for sure have a scheduled visits. You can see if DHS could at least point you in the right direction to have supervised visits, I just saw that as too much of a hassle and just stuck to BD seeing DD at my apartment, and his when his mom was there (Other than that it was too dirty for a baby). Every time he wanted to see her it lessened after a few weeks, then he would go a couple months without seeing her, then his interest would peak again. It was a terrible cycle until I finally said I am done until he could get something court ordered.
Quoting pitbullprincess:" you can to a lawyer and possibly pay and argue and smurf But social services idk what they are called ... [snip!] ... supportive when you willingly go to them about this stuff....everything else tho I normally cant stand about social services "
Quoting [JadeLee]:" Yeah in that case I would for sure have a scheduled visits. You can see if DHS could at least point you ... [snip!] ... interest would peak again. It was a terrible cycle until I finally said I am done until he could get something court ordered."