Anyone know..

If there are any, or where I could get like a video to help explain toddlers with autism? My problem is my son is 4, he was diagnosed a year ago with Autism, and I believe he has aspergers also but he's not diagnosed with that yet.. my SO(Who's not his father) has a son from someone else who is 3, and he expects the both of us to parent them equally.... and I keep trying to explain that we can't do that, because they both function completely differently, his son understands way differently than my son does, and everytime I try to explain it, he just doesn't get it and I get frustrated and end up in tears because he's making it seem like I'm just favoring my son, and letting my son get away with things and then I'm not being fair to his son,or I'll discipline his son and then he will turn around and baby him and I'll ask him why and he'll say "well if it was alex blablahblah.." I love both of these boys very much and I try my best to treat them as equal as possible, but there are really some things that just can't be done the same, well I guess they could but it would end up with my son being in a complete fit...and then I get super anxious if I ever have to leave my son with my SO, I don't think he'd ever hurt him or anything, but it just makes me nervous because I know he'll try to treat him the same way as we treat his son and almost every time I've left him alone with him and went somewhere and done something real fast I've come back and my son is crying or has been crying and I'll ask what happened my SO will tell me "well he was doing (random thing) after I told him not to and I yelled at him and he started crying saying I want mommy." When my son is having a good day we don't have any problems and everything is great and my SO does love my son I can tell, he just doesn't know or understand how to parent him I think, so I'm trying to figure out a way to help him learn so we don't have to argue about treating the boys differently anymore...Thanks for any help.

I think taking him with you to a doctor to have a sit down about this will help more than showing him a video will.

I've thought about that but it would be getting him to go that would be the problem, because he'll act like he understands and gets what the doctors saying, and then when we leave he'll say oh well I just think the doctor is taking the money and just saying anything.. I feel like if I show him a video at home it would be easier for him to understand.

He needs to understand that they are different. Your son shouldn't be getting yelled at. When he does something wrong he needs to sit down & talk to him, explain to him what he did wrong. That is something he could also do with his son, so that they are being dissaplined equally. I get where he is coming from. He doesn't want his son to feel like he is being treated differently. Or like your son is being favored (which I know he isn't, but in a child's eyes he may think that).


ETA: The only place I can think of is Youtube, but you may could try googling something like "understanding autism" or something like that. Sorry, I'm no help.

Movies:
Temple Grandin(this is a bio movie so it plays out like a hollywood film)
Loving Lampposts (documentary)

Books:
Out of sync child is a good read, if he will read it.
10 things every child with autism wishes you knew
Autism and Aspergers in laymans terms

Thank you both for your input that helps! I will look into those movies and maybe the books I know he's not a big fan of reading but maybe he'll give it a shot to help him understand and see what I mean, Your comment does help! I know thats how he feels and that he doesn't want his son to feel that way cause if it were the other way around I wouldn't either but I would try to research and figure things out if it were me and he's stubborn so he doesn't do that. He feels like when my son gets upset and has a fit it's the same as when his son does it and his son does it simply for attention or to get his way but my son doesn't do it for those reasons it's generally when something is actually wrong or bothering him and I talk to him and try to figure out what the problem is so I can help him with it but he has problems expressing it or understanding things.

Quoting .::Kayla::.:" Thank you both for your input that helps! I will look into those movies and maybe the books I know he's ... [snip!] ... and try to figure out what the problem is so I can help him with it but he has problems expressing it or understanding things."

I do understand his POV too though, especially if he is uneducated on the subject. Its possible he feels treating them equally will have more benefits in the long run than not.

Right, That's why I'm trying to get on the same page with him on it. Cause I know it's frustrating for him to feel that way and it's frustrating for me to not be able to fix it myself so I'm hoping this will help us get together on it and be able to figure it out so that he doesn't get mad and yell at him for something that he doesn't understand what he's doing wrong.