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Sounds like normal first time mom with a newborn and trying to adjust. Just sit down with SO and tell him you're overwhelmed and ask for help. Ya have to be blunt with men and spell it out for them lol. He probably doesn't even realize why you're lashing out at him or what he's doing wrong.

I'm sorry. I can see why all of that is frustrating. Is there any way you guys can reach a compromise on any of these issues? Maybe set up a schedule on who gets the baby at night and alternate it every other day or every few days?

While I understand it is frustrating, you're not helping matters by giving him the impression that you're fine doing all of it alone. You need to let him take the baby sometimes otherwise he'll just continue. You've shown him that any time he tries to take the baby, you either don't give the baby to him or take the baby so he's decided to just go do his own thing.

There's a huge adjustment when you first have a baby... it's very hard. It can make or break a couple! Make sure you communicate how you're feeling... Your feelings and needs ARE important! You both made the baby you both take care of the baby.

Oh I've been there. For me, it did get better. The first couple months are the hardest because:
1. Baby is still fully dependent on you, so he can't really share your pain yet.
2. Baby hasn't been around long enough for your SO to fully adjust, so he doesn't understand yet that things HAVE to change, like the dog coming.
3. Once baby can entertain himself, you feel a little more comfortable leaving him alone in a safe place for a little bit.

Just give him time, explain your frustrations, and try to hold on. The men are slower to catch on usually. My SO used to always want the dog to sleep with us. I didn't want the dog in the bed with the baby. Then one day the dog jumped on the bed in the middle of the night and landed right on DD when she was 6 months. He didn't let the dog back in the room at night after that.

As for smoking...I can't help with that. I picked it right back up after I had DS. But I'm weak I admit it.

Quoting Raptor Jesus:" I'm sorry. I can see why all of that is frustrating. Is there any way you guys can reach a compromise ... [snip!] ... any of these issues? Maybe set up a schedule on who gets the baby at night and alternate it every other day or every few days?"

I don't pump, so it's always me at night, and he goes to work at 6 so he's up stupid early. I wanna talk to him about things I just feel overwhelmed I guess

Quoting Saffy Sly:" While I understand it is frustrating, you're not helping matters by giving him the impression that you're ... [snip!] ... he tries to take the baby, you either don't give the baby to him or take the baby so he's decided to just go do his own thing."

I know, I just had it stuck in my head that if I couldn't do it all by myself I am a horrible mom :/

Quoting BeccaSauraus:" I'm not by any means a single mom, but I feel like I'm raising this baby alone. It's only been 3 weeks ... [snip!] ... cold turkey), and I need to get laid ( he doesn't want to do it before the 6 weeks because he's scared to hurt me.) End vent."

Sounds like normal parenting issues. If you're not tired with a 3 week old newborn, somethings wrong lol.
BFing is always hard on moms. Sleep when the baby sleeps if you can

Quoting BeccaSauraus:" I'm not by any means a single mom, but I feel like I'm raising this baby alone. It's only been 3 weeks ... [snip!] ... cold turkey), and I need to get laid ( he doesn't want to do it before the 6 weeks because he's scared to hurt me.) End vent."

Pump and make bottles! That way, he can feed the baby while YOU sleep!!

I have all the same feelings my daughter is 1 month 2 days

<blockquote><b>Quoting BeccaSauraus:</b>" I know, I just had it stuck in my head that if I couldn't do it all by myself I am a horrible mom :/"</blockquote>




I was totally like that too. I was kind of psychotic looking back now   and it almost ruined my marriage. You have a man who wants to be an active daddy. As hard as it is, let him. Give him a chance to be the daddy he wants to be.

Quoting S U Z I E:" Pump and make bottles! That way, he can feed the baby while YOU sleep!!"

Which should definitely be done on the nights he has the next day off work. I don't think it's fair to expect him to wake up with the baby when he has to be up at 0 dark thirty and go to work all day.

Quoting Brink:" <blockquote><b>Quoting BeccaSauraus:</b>" I know, I just had it stuck in my head that ... [snip!] ... You have a man who wants to be an active daddy. As hard as it is, let him. Give him a chance to be the daddy he wants to be."

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. Eh, I'm going to try. It's just so hard to accept help. :/

Quoting The Icebox {MBRD}:" Which should definitely be done on the nights he has the next day off work. I don't think it's fair ... [snip!] ... I don't think it's fair to expect him to wake up with the baby when he has to be up at 0 dark thirty and go to work all day. "

That's how I feel about it. And the only day he has off is Sundays.