Another mother in law rant/vent super long!!

I honestly don't know where to begin. These last few months have been the hardest and not even because of the pregnancy, but because of her.
Me and my hubby come from "different worlds" as you would sometimes say. He comes from a famiily that is well off and well... I don't. When he is home on leave we stay at his parents house because my I stay with my aunt while he is not home. This time around he was home for quite a while and I don't think I ever want to go back over there again. I could go on all day about the things she does but I'll just do the key points.

I guess her one biggest flaw is she is ignorant, very ignorant. While i stay in her home I obviously follow by her rules. I help with dinner, do dishes and always clean up after myself. But it always seems like something I do is wrong. She likes to "teach" me how to do certain things. Which I'm all for learning new things but a lot of the times it crosses the line. Like if I am doing dishes and I put them in the dish rack. She will come over and push me out the way so she can " show me how it's done in a normal household". Yes that's what she actually says and she says it quite often.

She also expects me to be my husbands "slave". I put it in quotes because it's what she refers to as being a good wife. While my hubby was home him and his friends were hanging out and I brought him some chicken wings to snack on. I think about 20 min later she comes barging into the bedroom we share, while I'm changing, to tell me a good wife picks up after her husband immidietly after he is done eating so he can continue to hang out. Of course I tell her is a big boy and can throw away his own garbage And she comes back with " well I pick up after my husband like a good wife should. If you want your marriage to last I suggest you do the same"

That really doesn't even scrape the top of it all. She will accuse me of being lazy and say I'm being over dramatic with my pain. ( she's never experienced a pregnancy so she compares me to her socialite friends), buys only fat free food while I'm there because " no husband wants a girl who looks like she let herself go", tells people SHE is having a baby and that she doesn't know how she is going to manage a crying baby in her house, and the list goes on.

If I had a dollar for every time she has started a sentence with "well as the woman" when we talk about the baby id be rich. I get crap all day for sitting on the computer or iPad (I run a small business so I'm constantly doing emails and invoices), acts disgusted if I don't put on make up to go out, it's just nuts.

I don't get smart with this woman and I have never raised my voice to her but a comment she made a week back was the last straw. I currently don't have a car and don't plan on getting one until I can work a full time job again. So naturally she ask me what I am going to do about transportation and of course I said the bus. Her head looked like it was going to snap right off her neck and blurts out "well where we live we don't have bus stops" and I just look at her and tell her just because the live in a nice area doesn't mean there are no buses. This is where it go ugly. She looks at me with a semi disgusted face and says " well were we are from we don't use busses. And thank god we don't because I couldn't bare to been seen doing such a horrid thing. Only certain types of people ride the bus" and that being the one thing that set me off I reply back with " what kind of people? Ghetto people?" and she had nothing more to say.

After that comment it clicked. All those times she's said "you people" or "those kinds people" or " I know your not from a normal household" that she was talking about my race. It took me 8 months to realize that this woman basically acts like because I'm what she thinks is the ghetto she has to teach me how to do things the "white way".

I'm at my end and I feel horrible because my husband tries so hard to stick up for me and defend me. I just can't do it anymore and I won't. It's gotten to the point to where my mother, who has never even met my MIL, won't meet her because she is disgusted by her.
I don't know what to do or if I will do anything. All I know is my son will never be left alone around her and I won't continue to act like her friend any longer.
Sorry if this seems like a jumbled mess and I'm so sorry it's long but I really needed to air this out to people who aren't on either side.

That is smurfed up. I can't believe people are still like that. Was your SO adopted?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Monkey Nuts:</b>" That is smurfed up. I can't believe people are still like that. Was your SO adopted?"</blockquote>




Yeah he was adopted at birth.

So save up and move out.
And in between then and now, avoid her at all costs.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Ole' No Name:</b>" So save up and move out. And in between then and now, avoid her at all costs."</blockquote>




I don't live with her we only stay there when SO is home on leave. I would occasionally visit to spend time with her but no more.

Wow and I thought my MiL could be bad

Have you talked to your husband about it?
Or has he heard her talking to you like this?

If not i would have a serious talk with him
Can you move out anytime soon?

her people are the reason why we have dumb in this world. i would go back to you aunts.

I'm so sorry that she is treating you like that  

I know how awful it is to be hated my your in-laws for no reason.

<blockquote><b>Quoting *PeanutButter*:</b>" Wow and I thought my MiL could be bad Have you talked to your husband about it? Or has he heard her ... [snip!] ... it? Or has he heard her talking to you like this? If not i would have a serious talk with him Can you move out anytime soon?"</blockquote>




He's witnessed it himself and has confronted her many times but she hasn't attempted to change.

WOW, I didn't know people still acted like that. Is their anyway you and your husband could get military housing for when he is back? I would avoid her as well. When and if she ever get's mad about you avoiding her, let her know she did it to herself.

So if i understand this right shes treating you like dog smurf because your not the same race as what she is ??

Either way and even if it wasnt about race its freaking ridicolous i cant believe it i would have slapped her long ago and said that this is how we do it in our abnormal household so take that bitch .... unbelievable im in shock at how stupid some people are ....

well off but still stupid ,..
sorry you have to go through this
i would say stick up for yourself and that you wont tolerate that kinda behaviour towards you anymore and if she cant deal with that she should refrain from speaking to you at all .!

<blockquote><b>Quoting BoogsMaMa:</b>" WOW, I didn't know people still acted like that. Is their anyway you and your husband could get military ... [snip!] ... is back? I would avoid her as well. When and if she ever get's mad about you avoiding her, let her know she did it to herself."</blockquote>




We opted out because he is leaving for good very soon. It's easier to be at my aunts because she watches my older son while I do work and will be helping me with my c section. once he is back we will be getting our own apartment again.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Daphne Westcott:</b>" So if i understand this right shes treating you like dog smurf because your not the same race as what ... [snip!] ... that kinda behaviour towards you anymore and if she cant deal with that she should refrain from speaking to you at all .!"</blockquote>




I'd like to think its just pure ignorance to the world around her but it doesn't seem as so. Example: there was a day I walked outside for 2 minutes without shoes and she comes at me with "don't your people ever wear shoes"

Quoting Just a marine wife:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Daphne Westcott:</b>" So if i understand this right shes treating ... [snip!] ... there was a day I walked outside for 2 minutes without shoes and she comes at me with "don't your people ever wear shoes""

id be like "dont your people come with mind your businees" she doesnt seem ignorant to me she seems stupid to me
obviously her inteligence doesnt stretch very far if it did she would know that for even "her people" its innapropriate to act that way.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Daphne Westcott:</b>" id be like "dont your people come with mind your businees" she doesnt seem ignorant to me she seems ... [snip!] ... her inteligence doesnt stretch very far if it did she would know that for even "her people" its innapropriate to act that way. "</blockquote>




She likes to act like her husbands money makes her superior. I think she likes to forget she is from the ghetto too.