I told him...

Today I told SO that I'm not in love with him anymore.
And I told him I haven't been for a long time.
I do LOVE him, and I do care about him, and I want to be together, but we have a lot of problems. Not going into details, but when I was pregnant he ha a drinking problem that got worse when I got really sick from hyperemesis, ad he treated me very badly. He has quit drinking since then, and is A LOT better than he was, but he can still be disrespectful and just such a jerk.

This morning we got in a big fight about him always waking up in a bad mood every morning and being rude, so I had enough and I just told him I'm not in love with him anymore.
His eyes filled with tears and he was hugging me and begging me not to leave. Then he went in the room and cried most of the day.

I feel really bad, and I have been being really mean to him lately. I've been saying really mean things to him lately... I don't know why. It's not like me to say things just to hurt someone, but I guess I just had enough and the only reason I can get him to snap out of his "mean" moods is if I hurt his feelings.


Idk what my point is... I guess it's just a vent...
I am NOT asking for advice, I'm NOT asking if I should leave him, and I don't need to hear about how mean I am, but can anyone relate? To nt beig in love with your SO anymore, but still wanting to work things out??


Sorry for any type-o's, I wrote this kinda fast

Do you want to makes things work with him? My husband and I went through something similar a few years ago. I thought I was falling out of love with him, when the fact of the matter was we weren't making "us" time. We had become two separate entities and were growing apart. The whole situation turned into a big miss (I won't go into details), but after some time apart I learned that I really do love him and can't live without him. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. Counseling may also be beneficial... IF you want to work it out.

I can def relate to that
me and SO has had similar issues his always mean in the mornings he has more mood swings than any woman has at her worst time in pregnancy.. it was driving me insane and then the only time he was nice or kind to me felt like when he wanted sex and if we would have it he would say he can feel i didnt enjoy it and he was always asking me what he has done wrong for me loosing interest in him as he calls it . All i wanted was for him to be a kind loving husband to me and treat me with respect i also started getting really mean and saying awfull things until he said his leaving and i actually felt relieved and said well what are you waiting for... and i went to the bathroom and then just started crying histerically as if it hit me that i wouldnt see him again and as i went to the room where he was suppose to be packing i found him sitting on the bed crying ... after that we talked things have gotten so much better we have our off days and i also felt i wasnt inlove with him anymore
but i do love him and i do want to be with him .. hope things work out hun

<blockquote><b>Quoting Squeaky McGee [12 wks]:</b>" Do you want to makes things work with him? My husband and I went through something similar a few years ... [snip!] ... without him. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. Counseling may also be beneficial... IF you want to work it out."</blockquote>



Yea I do want things to work, and I know I do love him, I just haven't been in live with him for a long time.
I'm just so sick of his attitude. He is always grumpy and rude, and it's just exhausting.
Right now, I can't stand being around him. But at the same time, we don't want to be away from each other. It's so confusing. Ad info feel bad for him, because he has some emotional issues from when he was little and beig abandoned by his family, and I think that is a big part of why he is the way he is. It feels like he is testing me to see if I will leave him like everyone else did.

Quoting Silly Mily's Momma ♡:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Squeaky McGee [12 wks]:</b>" Do you want to makes things work ... [snip!] ... is a big part of why he is the way he is. It feels like he is testing me to see if I will leave him like everyone else did."

I'm sorry. That does sound difficult to deal with.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Daphne Westcott:</b>" I can def relate to that me and SO has had similar issues his always mean in the mornings he has more ... [snip!] ... and i also felt i wasnt inlove with him anymore but i do love him and i do want to be with him .. hope things work out hun"</blockquote>


That seems a lot like us..
We can't stand each other most of the time, but it's obvious we still love each other. A lot since we both cry about it and miss each other so much.
Sometimes it seems not even worth it to try to
Stay together, but I just can't imagine life without him.
I just wish he would go back to being the nice respectful guy he was when I met him.

Quoting Silly Mily's Momma ♡:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Daphne Westcott:</b>" I can def relate to that me and SO has ... [snip!] ... but I just can't imagine life without him. I just wish he would go back to being the nice respectful guy he was when I met him."

Def like us hey
and he also had a difficult childhood and i also sometimes feel like sometimes that plays a role with his attitude

He sounds a lot like ME. The whole waking up angry and moody every day. And for me it's because of depression. If he's had a drinking problem in the past, I wouldn't doubt that depression might be playing a role in the situation. I often feel like my SO and I aren't in love anymore. But I know deep down I couldn't ever deal with us being apart. We routinely have deep discussions about what's been going on. It may end up in lots of crying and yelling. But we get our feelings out and always feels like a mini-freshstart.

That was me and my husband for a while, when were still dating. We lived together but it felt like I was alone. Things just got to the point where I still loved him, but I wasn't IN love with him anymore. I felt so detached from him and all we ever did was argue and yell all the time. But I still loved him and leaving didn't feel right (although there were plenty of times I wanted to) so I stayed. I finally told him, and then turns out he felt the same way and we both decided we had to really work on ourselves and our relationship. Now we're sooooo much better. But I think our biggest problem was not being able to talk to each other about how we felt because we were afraid of driving away the other. Now we both made a promise that no matter how bad it might be, we HAVE to talk to each other and work it out. Because ignoring it won't just make it go away.
I really hope it works out with you two   Prayin for ya'll!