Quoting Safka9973:" Majority of custody battles arise because of issues with child support and or anger resentment and jealousy ... [snip!] ... and jealousy towards an ex spouse. If you can't accept the connection, I hope you are ready if it ever bites you Bye Now!"
Judges look very poorly on cases that arise based on anything but the father's want to see the child. The fact that he has shown no interest in her until now will weigh heavily in that case. I'm sorry you're going through a rough situation, but you do not know me, this family, or him and his family. Therefore you do not know everything. Stop treating me like a child and acting as thought women have to submit themselves just for the sake of looking good.
I will not win any sort of custody cases based on how I treat other people. If they do arise, it will be based on how I treat my daughter. I don't know why you seem to think butt-kissing will get you out of a situation like that, but it's sad and emotionally unhealthy that you do.