Well my Dr. from mental health just called me to reset my appointment this afternoon. I go in in about an hour and a half. Im so nurvous. Hopefully Im getting my recommendation for seperation today. I want out of the Navy I really do but it's so nurve racking. I know now is the best time because I have somewhere to go live and I have someone to watch my son and a way to make money. So Im not risking so much and yet I still can feel my anxiety going into over drive right now. It's such a huge choice to make and there is no way to know that Im making the right one until after it's too late to change it. Im so confident one second and the next I just want to cry. I guess I just need reassurance that Im not making a stupid decision getting out of the military. I love my job, Im good at it, I've worked hard to get where I am, and I know my kid is taken care of but I'm going to be missing 9-12 month chunks of his life at a time. Im going to miss bithdays and holidays. Im going to miss baseball games and school plays. He's going to have to move whenever Im told to and his life will have to change every few years. He has to make all the same scrafises as a service member without having made the decision to join. I can find another job I love and that Im good at. I mean Im old 22. But DS will never have another childhood. He wont have another mother to love him and be there for him. I guess I just need to be reassured Im making the right choice.
Getting out is tough. It's been almost a year and some days I regret it. Most days I don't even think about it. But I went from working 12 hour shifts to being a SAHM. It's been one hell of a transition. But you have to do whatever is right for you. *hugs*