re: If your SO didn't want to be in the delivery room

I would be hurt and rethink where the relationship is going.. If my husband told me he didn't want to see his baby be born I would kill him. Luckily, he was excited to see all three of them be born and helped catch and clean them and then told me all the lovely details about the "goo" that was falling from my body -___-

I'd think he's pretty immature and wouldn't have kids with him.

Quoting The Doctor:" Absolutely! If both people agree that the father will wait outside, great! For me, that's right up ... [snip!] ... I'm not going to wake up at all at night because I'm the dad." But every family is different, and every couple is different."

I agree with this.

And, on second though, I guess the difference is the way it's approached maybe. If my husband came to me and said "I really don't want to be in the delivery room, it makes me uncomfortable and I really don't want to," then I'd me like "okay, cool." Or we'd talk about it and try to work through it. If he came to me and said "I'm not doing it. Good luck, you're on your own," then I'd feel abandoned. I think there is a lot of give and take, so the way the man approaches it matters.

Quoting The Doctor:" Absolutely! If both people agree that the father will wait outside, great! For me, that's right up ... [snip!] ... I'm not going to wake up at all at night because I'm the dad." But every family is different, and every couple is different."

SO actually said something similar before DD was born. He said he wasn't changing her diapers because she was a girl, that I was a girl too so I needed to change all her diapers. (His exact words I might add.) He was dead serious too. I couldn't help but laugh at him. I told him that if we had a boy he had to change all of his diapers because he was a boy. He ended up seeing how immature and downright silly that logic was. Lol.

Quoting [♥]Mrs. Morgan:" Yeah, DH was in the car with me while it was going on, and I turned to him and asked if my vagina grossed ... [snip!] ... want to see or touch it. It grosses me out. And I know it doesn't look the same as before. It's just something we deal with."

Yeah, for sure. I don't think "you should be in the room" is equivalent at all to "stare at my vagina every second that I'm poppin' this kid out!"

I don't want to stare at it, I don't think he should be required to... but I do think that my SO should be present, and that's just a personal thing. I don't want to be with someone that can't do the uncomfortable... because how the heck is he going to help me with everything in the future that's uncomfortable or gross?

Sigh. He acts like I'm insane for thinking it was a dick thing to say. And that all of his friends (also in their 30s) feel the same. Which has never been confirmed and I highly doubt it.

I keep giving this relationship chance after chance. This isn't the first smurfed up thing he's said relating to child birth.
He keeps PUSHING the issue because he wants a baby.
But when I say I'd really like him in the delivery room with me it's

"That's gross"
"I'd probably throw up"
"I wouldn't want to see you getting all messed up down there"
"If I saw your vagina stretched out I'd be turned off forever"
Etc.

Quoting A&J. ♥:" Sigh. He acts like I'm insane for thinking it was a dick thing to say. And that all of his friends (also ... [snip!] ... wouldn't want to see you getting all messed up down there" "If I saw your vagina stretched out I'd be turned off forever" Etc."

That i couldn't handle, i don't see how you do. That's just flat out hurtful, seems like he cares more about what your vagina is going to look like after child birth, than worrying about the baby he wants. That probably didn't make sense but i hope you get what i'm trying to say.

Quoting A&J. ♥:" Sigh. He acts like I'm insane for thinking it was a dick thing to say. And that all of his friends (also ... [snip!] ... wouldn't want to see you getting all messed up down there" "If I saw your vagina stretched out I'd be turned off forever" Etc."

Are you sure he wants a baby as much as you do?

Quoting Soon 2B Mom of 2:"   DH was 28 when we had DS, and he did the same. I was the one who didnt want to see it  "

Oh hell no I wouldn't want to see that. He was 27 when I had our first and he wanted to peek but I told him to STAY NEXT TO ME AND HOLD MY SmUrfING HAND lol.

Quoting A&J. ♥:" Sigh. He acts like I'm insane for thinking it was a dick thing to say. And that all of his friends (also ... [snip!] ... wouldn't want to see you getting all messed up down there" "If I saw your vagina stretched out I'd be turned off forever" Etc."

That would be a deal breaker, absolutely.

"All his friends feel that way", well he has stupid assed friends. IMO.

Seems like one of those dudes that claps you on the back for having his baby, and then goes to the bar to celebrate for a week with the guys.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ღ.ღ.ღ:</b>" That i couldn't handle, i don't see how you do. That's just flat out hurtful, seems like he cares more ... [snip!] ... child birth, than worrying about the baby he wants. That probably didn't make sense but i hope you get what i'm trying to say."</blockquote>


Yes I do get what you're trying to say

<blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" Are you sure he wants a baby as much as you do? "</blockquote>



That's the thing. I really don't want one right now. I have a four year old, I work and I'm in college. I love babies and kids and I definitely want more. But I'm more at that point where I like to hold and snuggle a baby as long as I can give it back. Lol

He brings up having a baby at least once a week
He tells me if we got married I wouldn't have to worry about work or school because I could be a SAHM and focus on the baby.

I understand he's older and maybe at a point where he's ready to have kids but at the same time his attitude about it is really smurfing immature.

Quoting A&J. ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" Are you sure he wants a baby as much ... [snip!] ... older and maybe at a point where he's ready to have kids but at the same time his attitude about it is really smurfing immature."

Oh so he's the one who wants it....okay, so that makes less sense. You need to tell him that his attitude about it is immature - when you get pregnant it's all about the baby not his feelings. And until he changes his attitude you're not going to procreate with him, period. May I ask how long you've been together?

Quoting A&J. ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" Are you sure he wants a baby as much ... [snip!] ... older and maybe at a point where he's ready to have kids but at the same time his attitude about it is really smurfing immature."

He could change his mind. You never know. My DH could not handle being in the delivery room/OR with me. We've talked about it and I know he will NOT be there. He or I could change our mind when the time comes. Maybe I will want him to see the birth of his next child. Sometimes actually experiencing it changes your mind.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" Oh so he's the one who wants it....okay, so that makes less sense. You need to tell him that his attitude ... [snip!] ... And until he changes his attitude you're not going to procreate with him, period. May I ask how long you've been together? "</blockquote>


About a year & a half