Quoting Rain (aka Mama):" Thank you! I think the biggest thing is that with her it's not really attention seeking behavior. She ... [snip!] ... else's. So, I guess it'd be mainly redirection in her case. I'm definitely going to try the two choices for meals though."The tantrums get better when they feel like people are understanding them. I found that The Happiest Toddler on The Block book helped tremendously with that (even for older kids). It basically acknowledges how they feel and empathizing with them. For instace if my son is upset about something (especially if I can't figure out what he wants ) I simply say "Brady is mad, Brady is mad.. I get it buddy and I am sorry you are mad"-sometimes that alone can defer a tantrum instead of saying "What is wrong" over and over in an exasperated tone,lol.Instead of instantly saying "NO!" when they ask (even non verbally) say "I know you want that cookie, but it isn't available right now", it really does help a lot. If she won't sit at the table, or is a limited eater it is also important to have very routine oriented meals and make her (hand over hand if you have to) bring her food to the garbage and her plate to the sink (counter in our house because he'd whip his dish in the sink,lol. This signifies that the meal is finished and their opportunity for trying that food is done, and it is no longer grazing time-this has helped us a lot. Hope this isn't too much info, if you want more just ask. This is the advantage of having 5 therapists a week come in my home for 30 hours-I learn too.