Forums > Health & Well-BeingPage 1 2by: Brandi Milam

re: Help..Please! LONG

posted 17th Jan
Quoting Jude ♥ JGL:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Brandi Milam:</b>" I just can't take her in. We don't have the ... [snip!] ... not your job to take her but that's so smurffy. You could get financial help. I would take my nephew or niece in a hearybeat"

I feel the same way. I understand that you might not financially be able to handle it, but you can get help for that, so it's not really a valid excuse in my eyes. As far as you having another baby soon- your niece is 5. You don't have to stare at her constantly, and she is probably going to kindergarten during the day anyway. You would have PLENTY of time to spend with your new little one. How do you think parents of more than one child handle things? I understand that it's YOUR first child, and that you want to make things special and everything, but you can't be selfish about it and then say there's nothing you can do, because there is something. You would be failing your niece to not do something and let her fall through the cracks in the system.
quotesmurfs?
I have 1 child & live in Delaware
posted 17th Jan
Quoting A is Me:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jude ♥ JGL:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Brandi ... [snip!] ... if she takes her she won't be able to give her the attention and things she deserves. I don't see anything wrong with that."

Yeh but the alternative is going into the system, to group homes where she won't get any attention or love from family at all so.. yeh :-S She would be better off with a family member.
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posted 17th Jan
Quoting Brandi Milam:" I barely met my sister when I was 12 and hardly ever see them. I love them all dearly but its just not ... [snip!] ... can think of is to call CPS and have them intervene until she is better. But CPS would split the kids up and I don't want that."

Especially being in the foster care system yourself, I would think you would want to take her, no matter the burden. You say you want what's best for her- do you really think going into the system is what's best for her? Especially with your past?
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I have 1 child & live in Delaware
posted 17th Jan
Quoting MommyToWesley:" I feel the same way. I understand that you might not financially be able to handle it, but you can get ... [snip!] ... there is something. You would be failing your niece to not do something and let her fall through the cracks in the system."
I do not qualify for help from the state. So that point is moot on your behalf. I have tried to see wht I can do before, and now its getting to the point where I mam getting calls from her while she is hysterical. And my niece is in kindergarten, but when she is home, she is unpredictable in a bad way.
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I'm due March 2nd (a girl) & live in Tucson, Arizona
posted 17th Jan
<blockquote><b>Quoting Brandi Milam:</b>" I do not qualify for help from the state. So that point is moot on your behalf. I have tried to see wht ... [snip!] ... from her while she is hysterical. And my niece is in kindergarten, but when she is home, she is unpredictable in a bad way."</blockquote>




You could get certified as a foster parent and they's give.yiu money to care for your niece
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I live in Maine
posted 17th Jan
Quoting MommyToWesley:" Especially being in the foster care system yourself, I would think you would want to take her, no matter ... [snip!] ... say you want what's best for her- do you really think going into the system is what's best for her? Especially with your past?"

My past is completely different though. I was in the system because my father let my step brother molest me and then he beat me when I told him about it.

And I know that being in the system isn't all that great. But I cannot take her in. My home is way to small, I can barely feed myself, and I struggle to pay my bills. Don't judge me because I want whats best for her. And if that means being in foster care until myu sister gets things taken care of, then so be it.
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I'm due March 2nd (a girl) & live in Tucson, Arizona
posted 17th Jan
<blockquote><b>Quoting Brandi Milam:</b>" My past is completely different though. I was in the system because my father let my step brother molest ... [snip!] ... I want whats best for her. And if that means being in foster care until myu sister gets things taken care of, then so be it."</blockquote>




There are so many resources out there. This is about you being too lazy to care for her.
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I live in Maine
posted 17th Jan
<blockquote><b>Quoting Jude ♥ JGL:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Brandi Milam:</b>" My past is completely different though. ... [snip!] ... then so be it."</blockquote> There are so many resources out there. This is about you being too lazy to care for her."</blockquote>




Taking in a child is a big decision and a huge responsibility. She has already said that she can't do it, and is her decision after much thought. No one wants to see ANY kid go into foster care and I don't think this was her thinking. He hasn't even been decided what will happen to this child yet. Don't make OP feel smurffy about the results of her sister's actions.
quotesmurfs?
I have 1 child & live in South Carolina
posted 17th Jan
<blockquote><b>Quoting A is Me:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jude ♥ JGL:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Brandi ... [snip!] ... even been decided what will happen to this child yet. Don't make OP feel smurffy about the results of her sister's actions."</blockquote>




Letting your niece go to foster care because you don't want to help is wrong.
quotesmurfs?
I live in Maine
posted 17th Jan
Quoting Jude ♥ JGL:" <blockquote><b>Quoting A is Me:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jude ♥ ... [snip!] ... of her sister's actions."</blockquote> Letting your niece go to foster care because you don't want to help is wrong."
When did I say that I don't want to help? I haven't. I came on here and asked for advice not for you to make me feel like a piece of smurf aunt. I have aslo stated that I don't qualify for state aid. And as far as I know, I don't meet the age requirement to be a liscensed foster parent in AZ. So do me a favor and stop replying because you being as rude as you are is causing me to stress even more and thats not good for me right now.
quotesmurfs?
I'm due March 2nd (a girl) & live in Tucson, Arizona
posted 17th Jan
Quoting Brandi Milam:" When did I say that I don't want to help? I haven't. I came on here and asked for advice not for you ... [snip!] ... and stop replying because you being as rude as you are is causing me to stress even more and thats not good for me right now."

The age requirement to become a foster parent in AZ is 21..
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I have 1 child & live in Delaware
posted 17th Jan
Quoting Brandi Milam:" When did I say that I don't want to help? I haven't. I came on here and asked for advice not for you ... [snip!] ... and stop replying because you being as rude as you are is causing me to stress even more and thats not good for me right now."
If your mother is taking in one child, can she not take anymore? What a sad situation... how about the father/father's of the children or their families, can they help at all? Your sister needs to be admitted somewhere.
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I have 1 child & live in Michigan
posted 17th Jan

Quoting Mel152009:" If your mother is taking in one child, can she not take anymore? What a sad situation... how about the ... [snip!] ... about the father/father's of the children or their families, can they help at all? Your sister needs to be admitted somewhere.

The kids dad isn't in the picture. My sister said that the little girl doesn't get along with her older brother at all and that they are violent towards each other.




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I'm due March 2nd (a girl) & live in Tucson, Arizona
posted 17th Jan
.... the REASON someone is in foster care does not change anything about actually being in foster care? It is still usually a horrible situation unless the child is very lucky. Not sure why you brought that up. Sounds like the little girl is pretty screwed though, no one will adopt her and she'll end up in group homes or foster homes overrun. Poor kid. That'll just make her worse as opposed to being in a loving stable family home that she needs to make her well adjusted and better behaved.
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