How to get through this month, my daughters 1st birthday.

I seriously need to vent to some moms who understand me on the mothering level. Even if you have or haven't lost a baby. My daughter would be turning 1 this month on January 24th. The closer her birthday gets the harder it is. I've tried hard to be the strongest I can for the past 8 months. I lost my daughter when she was 4 months & 5 days old to SIDS. I don't know how to cope with her first birthday, without her. Were of course going to celebrate her birthday but I don't know how hard its going to be on me...

im sorry mama.
just know that shes keeping an eye on your and your family and that even though she may not be there in person shes there in your heart.

Quoting Deborah B.:" im sorry mama. just know that shes keeping an eye on your and your family and that even though she may not be there in person shes there in your heart."

Thank you...

Its hard cause she was my first ever pregnancy, first baby, first daughter. So many in important things bundled in one.

Quoting Kairi's Mama!:" Thank you... Its hard cause she was my first ever pregnancy, first baby, first daughter. So many in important things bundled in one. "

once again im sorry.. i personally havnt lost a child but my mom lost 5 before i was finally born.

to this day my mom still thinks of and cherishes each of them. she doesnt have a full blown party or anything but she always remembers them in her heart.

Quoting Deborah B.:" once again im sorry.. i personally havnt lost a child but my mom lost 5 before i was finally born. ... [snip!] ... of and cherishes each of them. she doesnt have a full blown party or anything but she always remembers them in her heart."

If you dont mind me asking, how did she lose the 5?

Are you going to do a balloon/lantern release for her?  

Quoting Squid Kid:" Are you going to do a balloon/lantern release for her?  "

Funny that you asked that. My order came in today for a dozen pink heart lanterns. Debating on where we can/should release them, any ideas?

Quoting Kairi's Mama!:" Funny that you asked that. My order came in today for a dozen pink heart lanterns. Debating on where we can/should release them, any ideas?"

I'd release them at night, near home. So she can see a trail lighting the way to when all the love for her is, all her memories are.

Quoting Kairi's Mama!:" If you dont mind me asking, how did she lose the 5?"

different fathers (2 different then i have a different father then they did) and both the two before mine were abusive.. she had miscarriages on all but one i think and it was stillborn. one of the exs pushed her down stairs others hit her. one cause her extreme stress early on. im not sure on them all.

i love the lantern idea you have but make sure you contact the local authorities. some places are illegal to release balloons or lanterns due to them hitting power lines or effecting animals. i dont want you to get in trouble on a day thats already difficult.

I'm so sorry for your loss  

I lost my first daughter as well. I'm pretty much a mess every year her birthday comes around (she was born and passed away on the same day). Ever since her first birthday I have baked a cake and visited her grave. The first three years I took off from work because I knew I couldn't handle being at work. This year I wasnt working. I cry alot that day.

I had my second daughter in July 2011. My first was born in December 2008. This past birthday Ariadne my living daughter helped me with the cake.

It hurts everyday. But it especially hurts that day.

Once again I'm sorry for your loss