SO knows my number and I know his. Being his is 4 and mine is 6x as high and it doesn't bother him, I'm thankful. The other guy I was with when that number was 23 gave me hell over it, became a little obsessive about my experiences...whether he was small compared to others, was he as good as others. Ironically, he had been with tons and tons of women. We would run into women in public and there would be small talk, maybe a hug. I would say "so who's that?" 9/10 it was a woman he had sex with and there was alot of evidence supporting that he wasn't bragging his number up. I wouldn't have minded his number if he wasn't such a hypocrite.

Quoting mommytomel(::" I think it would make our relationship a little different , me and s/o have only ever been with eachother ... [snip!] ... have any desire to ever sleep with anyone else, I will love to be able to say that we were eachothers first and last forever"

I wish that I had your situation. I really envy you. Good for you by the way.

To be honest, I couldn't be with someone who had been with someone else. Sex is such an intimate thing to me that the thought of my husband with someone else makes me cringe. That's just me though

<blockquote><b>Quoting JohnSilverSmith:</b>" I wish that I had your situation. I really envy you. Good for you by the way."</blockquote>




Thank you! I really love the relationship me and s/o have

I don't think it'd be too big of a concern for me. Unless it was like 100s. It was before me and as long as he has no diseases or anything, what can I do about it? Everyone has a past.



ETA: Although I would LOVE to be SO's first and him be mine.. I think that's so special. His number is small anyways, so it's not a big deal and it was one time with each woman. I'm his first real girlfriend and now we're engaged and have DD. So it's still special even though we weren't each others firsts.

Quoting lovinthem04:" To be honest, I couldn't be with someone who had been with someone else. Sex is such an intimate thing to me that the thought of my husband with someone else makes me cringe. That's just me though"

I couldn't agree more with you. That is the unfortunate situation that I am in with my wife. She's been with a guy before me and it has caused a lot of problems over the years. She won't do certain things, and I know it is because she did them with him. She doesn't remember our first time together, but remembers her first time in vivid detail. Our first time together was my first as well. She is extremely jealous of me being around any other semi-attractive female. I know that it had to do with her not wanting any chance that I would be with anyone other than her. She ended up cheating on me this past summer and I just happened to walk in on it in progress. We live under the same roof, but it's hard to say that we're together. At least not in a traditional sense.

<blockquote><b>Quoting JohnSilverSmith:</b>" I couldn't agree more with you. That is the unfortunate situation that I am in with my wife. She's been ... [snip!] ... on it in progress. We live under the same roof, but it's hard to say that we're together. At least not in a traditional sense."</blockquote>


  that's awful  

Quoting mommytomel(::" <blockquote><b>Quoting JohnSilverSmith:</b>" I wish that I had your situation. I really ... [snip!] ... I really envy you. Good for you by the way."</blockquote> Thank you! I really love the relationship me and s/o have"

I would absolutely treasure what you have if I were in the same position. It has been hard to live with over the years. Her indiscretion this past summer drove me to the point of..........not being around anymore if you know what I mean. Thinking of her being with anyone but me was hard enough as it is. Walking in on it in progress was devastating. There have been some other things that have happened since last summer that I'm not comfortable talking about yet, but I think I need to at some point. I haven't been with anyone else since before she cheated, I don't have any plans to either. I love sex, but this has been something that has put a definite damper on me either wanting or being able to do the deed.

Quoting JohnSilverSmith:" I would absolutely treasure what you have if I were in the same position. It has been hard to live with ... [snip!] ... I love sex, but this has been something that has put a definite damper on me either wanting or being able to do the deed."

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I know how hard it is to deal with the pain from a partner's indescretions.. It's something you think about all day every day. At least that how it was for me. It wrecks you mentally.. It's devastating. All I would think about when they would be out of the house is if it was happening again. I became a very weak person and that was never me. I have always been indpendent, strong, and I wouldn't but up with anything. But that totally crushed everything.. You're right though. You probably should talk about it, when you're ready of course. I used to never say a word to anyone because it was completely embarrassing... I felt so ashamed. Walking in on it would set me over the edge.. I could not handle that. I would have beat some ass (sorry for the language) but you must be a better person than me.

Quoting *A&N's Mama*:" You're madly in love with SO & they tell you their "number" & it's higher than you expected. ... [snip!] ... who's been with 2 or 3. I could see that being used as ammo in that kind of situation I guess.. Anyways. Anyone else?  "

I will NEVER tell anyone my number. I will NEVER ask anyone. It's not worth it for me to ask.

All I want to know is.... are they clean? Are they messing around while we are? If they can answer those then Im cool.

Quoting KyliesMommy2012:" I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I know how hard it is to deal with the pain from a partner's ... [snip!] ... edge.. I could not handle that. I would have beat some ass (sorry for the language) but you must be a better person than me."

I went through this this past summer. I did pound on the guy until my BIL pulled me off of him. It was one of his buddies. I thought that he was taking his side. Nope. Him and his other friends that were there commenced to pulping this piece of smurf. The SOB wanted to press charges immediately against me and my BIL. That is the part of the story that I'm not ready to share just yet. It still pisses me off. You smurf my wife and then you want to press charges when I beat the smurf out of you. That's lower than low. He was just getting what he deserved. He's lucky that he's not dead. He probably wishes that he was now, though. Let's just say that when he decided to go public and tell his side of the story......it didn't go well for him. He embarrassed the hell out of me, but the number of people that were appalled by him and my wife ALMOST made it worth the hell that I've gone through. Neither of them are very well thought of by anyone that knows us. It actually caused the guy to lose his well paying job.

Nah. As long as while we are together that number doesn't get any higher, it's cool beans bro.

i know i've slept with more people than my SO. He was with his kids mother for 9 years.. I was out enjoying my freedom during that time.. LOL but we've never exchanged our "numbers" I would die if he knew

DH and I shared our numbers after dating for about a month, I think? We both have high numbers, his is higher though.

At first he was okay with my number until we began running into a few of my exes, and then whenever he'd meet a guy friend of mine he would ask if I smurfed the guy. I was always honest, if I smurfed the guy before then I'd tell DH.

A few days after we got married we ran into a group of guy friends that I used to hang out with and I introduced my husband to them. They were all shocked that I got married just as my closest friends were, I was known for avoiding commitment. My husband excused himself for a smoke, when I went outside my husband asked who I smurfed out of the group, I was honest, and DH said that he married a slut. Which I calmly said we still have time to get our marriage annulled if he feels that way and that he should not ask questions if he can't handle the truth, and above all he should have been honest from the beginning. Our house way very quiet for a few days until he apologized.

Now, 5 years later, he doesn't remember saying it to me, but of course I do. Not everyone can handle that their spouse had a life before them, but I think it's important to be honest and get it out of the way.

Quoting JohnSilverSmith:" I would absolutely treasure what you have if I were in the same position. It has been hard to live with ... [snip!] ... I love sex, but this has been something that has put a definite damper on me either wanting or being able to do the deed."

I caught my ex cheating in a genius way, but hurtful way too. Multiple times. It caused a lot of issues, and when I finally trust him... he pulls back. We recently broke up and its KILLING me. I took him back with him knowing if he cheated Id never speak to him again.

I dont want anyone but him again. Im done "smurfing around." But.... I will NEVER take anyone back that cheated on me. Ever again.