Suicide

I've tried talking to a few people about this and I just can't talk myself out of it. Noone seems to really understand. My BD left me 2 weeks ago. Our daughters 20 months old and Im pregnant with our 2nd. He says Im crazy and I smother him. I know Im crazy, he's helped make me this way though. I cant stop trying to talk to him. I call and he yells "Stop calling!" I told him I'm depressed and I cant take care of our daughter and she needs to stay with him for a while, he said "No. Stop feeling sorry for yourself." I can't stop crying. I feel worthless. I dont want anymore of his kids. I want it, him or myself to go away. I love my daughter more than anything and I cant stand the thought of hurting her but I'm not fit to be a mother right now. She shouldnt see me like this, but she has for weeks. I dont want to make food or eat anything, I've lost 9lbs since the 10th somehow. I try to give her a bath and play with her and I just end up walking away crying. I feel like I cant live anymore. I want to make this feeling go away.

I dont care who, just please, someone help me?

It does get better!
IF you feel like you are a risk to yourself or your daughter though you need to go to the ER. It does get better. I've been there. I still struggle sometimes but it does get better. I promise.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Do you have anyone else that can take the baby for a little while while you get your head together. I am praying for you and your family.

I keep trying to tell myself it'll get better but I know we'll never be together again. And if we do get back together the fighting wont end. I just want to be happy again and be able to do something other than cry. I already told him I was going to kill myself. If I dont go through with it he'll never understand how much he's really hurt me.

If you go through with it though your daughter will miss her mommy. Kids need their mom's. Nobody can ever replace a mom. Honestly your best bet is to head to the hospital right now. You kid needs you! Even if you don't get back together it isn't the end of the world. It doesn't matter how much he hurt you. If he doesn't care he isn't going to care. Don't take the permanent way out please! Your daughter will wonder all her life if she did something to make you do it. Pleaaasseee.

Im thinking about overdosing but Im afraid I'll just mess up my baby and not kill either of us. I know this is messed up but the position my head is in just keeps getting worse. I dont know what else to do.

Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:" If you go through with it though your daughter will miss her mommy. Kids need their mom's. Nobody can ... [snip!] ... take the permanent way out please! Your daughter will wonder all her life if she did something to make you do it. Pleaaasseee. "

I know your right. I wish I didnt feel like he was worth all of this.

You can make it through this. You wanna know how I know? Because you are here asking for somebody to help you. Right there shows that you are strong enough to do this! and don't OD it isn't a fun path. Seriously girl you can do this! You CAN make it through this! IT does get better. Take it from somebody that was sexually abused for 10 years. My daughter is a product of rape and I never thought I would be to the point that I could tell somebody else that it is okay and it will get better. Life does get better. Yes it will still suck sometimes but it is worth it. Go take a hot bubble bath, watch a movie, relax and get your mind off this for a little bit.   Pump up the music if you have to.  

I want to ask someone to get me help. I dont know why but I dont feel like I can do it myself. Theres a counsler right by the college Im going to. I want to walk in there and talk about it and maybe get him some help to. But Im afraid they cant help me or it'll make things worse.

Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:" I want to ask someone to get me help. I dont know why but I dont feel like I can do it myself. Theres ... [snip!] ... to walk in there and talk about it and maybe get him some help to. But Im afraid they cant help me or it'll make things worse."

You know what my problem is? I can't talk...I can type out everything I can write out everything. Talk about it face to face and forget that smurf I freeze up.   What if you wrote it down on paper that you need to talk? and hand it to the receptionist or the counsellor then?

I agree with the above! I was going to suggest seeing a therapist, but if you are contemplating killing yourself right now, you need to go to the ER and tell them!

Don't do it cause your ex is acting like a low life jerk!

Wait, you're trying to kill yourself and your baby!? You need to call 911 right this second!! Not only is that a bad decision in killing yourself, but you are going to emotionally kill your child, and you're going to kill your other baby!

Also what's going to happen to your daughter if you're dead? If he won't take her now, what makes you think he'll take her then? She'll probably just end up in the system. Which wouldn't be fair to her! (If you know anything about children ending up in foster care, you won't ever want that for your child! My bf has told me some stories about his past. It makes me want to go out and kill the people who do those horrible things to children!) She needs her mother, don't leave her!!
Call 911 right now!! Get some help! If not for you, then for your unborn and your daughter.

This was exactly me when my oldest's father and I split up (really, my parents finally stepped in and sent him to jail for almost killing me). I have NO idea why, but I still loved him. After all of the fights, the abuse, the cheating, everything. I felt like I'd never be happy again, I'd never find anyone who loved me again because he'd made me feel that way, he even told me my family didn't love me and I believed him.
I was severely depressed for a month or two, lost nearly 30 lb, thought about driving my car into a semi in the other lane. My mom finally encouraged me to see someone, a therapist she saw because my relationship with Autumn's dad made her lose her mind. It helped, slightly. Eventually, I got numb to it. Most of the time, I completely forget who he is... My mom will refer to him and I'll be confused to who she's talking about. He doesn't exist to me anymore.

It DOES get better and there is hope. I swear to you. It's not easy, I'll also swear that to you. He doesn't care and suicide isn't going to make him, that's the harsh truth. You need to let hm go, block his number, forget his number, block him on any social networking site, just completely cut off any ties to him. At least until you can handle talking to him without wanting to be with him. In the meantime, talk to a therapist, talk to ANYONE, get on some depression meds (or take fish oil pills, that's what I do to treat my depression and BPD), focus on yourself and your daughter.

You need to see a doctor ASAP! You need anti depressants girl, Sounds like PND!

i would try setting up an appointment with your doctor. things will get better, but it may take soem time. one day you'll look back and this will just be a minor setback in life. your daughter needs you, and i'm sure there are others who love you and wouldn't want you to die.

if you need someone to talk to you can PM me any time.