re: Hyper sexual behavior

I hope everything works out for you and that your son is able to open up to his new therapist. You seem to be doing everything you can and what you think is best for your son. I know this is going to sound weird but, is he in any extra curricular activities? Does he have any hobbies or anything? Another out let where he could channel those feelings to?

As for your daughters why are they no longer in therapy? Did the therapist deem that it was no longer necessary that they were seen and there wasn't anything more they could do to help?

<blockquote><b>Quoting K.Lynn09:</b>" I hope everything works out for you and that your son is able to open up to his new therapist. You seem ... [snip!] ... the therapist deem that it was no longer necessary that they were seen and there wasn't anything more they could do to help? "</blockquote>




He is not involved in any extra curriculars currently. But he does have quite a few hobbies we encourage. We want to get him in cub scouts, but I think the switched scout masters or something because I haven't heard back!

As for the girls- they seem to be doing fine. Beyond them seeing the psychologist in the beginning we have really encouraged them to talk with us about anything and everything. We actually haven't seen any indication from them that they would need further therapy. They are really well adjusted girls. Doing great in preschool and first grade, excellent grades, good social connections and in general really happy and caring girls.

My boy is a walking contradiction though. These probls of his are coupled with his sweet and caring attitude, cheerful demeanor, strong desire to please and to help in the home. He's very bright, and though we struggle to keep him on task he gets great grades too. He has so many positive things going for him, it issuer beyond discouraging and upsetting to see h struggling in such critical areas. How do you teach humanity? Right now he likes to please to earn a reward, someday I would like to see more of a desire to make others happy. I know this is something that progresses in child development, but at this point he is lacking and I am certain this is one of the reasons he ha these behavioral problems. An inability to understand or feel strong compassion for others at this point in time.

My best friends husbands said my boy reminds him of himself when he was that age. And that his parents struggled for years to teach him compassion because it just didn't come naturally to him. But he learned an pushed himself to try to understand others, and he now is able to truly empathise and care for others.

I really believe if he is able to be taught to value compassion and the happiness of others, that he will be able to demonstrate more restraint over his emotional conflicts. We just need to figure out how to get him there.

There's a lesson learned in everything. And daily I see him seeming to understand more and more about true kindness and caring.
Major set backs like these, though, just throw me into complete despair. Two steps forward, one step back. Even with Sundays events I still see positive progress.
I am definitely thinking about this extra curricular bit, though. Keeping him busy is definitely key to keeping him on task.
Thanks. Super helpful! I am going to find out who the troop leader is tomorrow period.

From what you just described your son sounds like he has signs of being a sociopath.

I'm glad to hear your daughters seem to have adjusted and that the therapy seems to have helped them. Just keep an eye on them also (based upon what you have said already I am pretty much positive you will) as they get closer to puberty and go through their teen years.

I really help going back to his therapist after the 3 week break helps your son out. You are such a strong woman to want to help him so much and to be trying so hard to do so and not giving up.

Quoting Safka9973:" <blockquote><b>Quoting K.Lynn09:</b>" I hope everything works out for you and that ... [snip!] ... definitely key to keeping him on task. Thanks. Super helpful! I am going to find out who the troop leader is tomorrow period."

Will you inform the leaders of his behaviour? I don't mean this offensively but from the perspective of another parent, it terrifies me I could be putting my child in an extra-curricular where she's at risk of being sexually abused by another child.

This is my story. It may be triggering for some, but I think the OP may need the perspective of her girls all grown up.

My brother first molested me at 5 yrs old. (He is 2yrs older). He tool my virginity when I was 6. My mom found out cause I told on him. She talked with him & thought that was the end of it.

All through out my teen years he tortured me. He would come in my room while I was sleeping & start touching me. He would read my journal & threaten to tell all my friends & family all my secrets & private thoughts. He would tell me my parents would blame me & throw me out of the house. (Parents were going through a rough time & eventually divorced).

I started dating my SO at 16. For the first couple of months my brother was still sneaking into my room & molesting me. He had a girlfriend, he had many of my friends willing to have sex with him.

I kept quiet. I thought he was just torturing me being an annoying horrible older brother.

He married the girlfriend, had 2 kids. Things I though were going fine. I discussed with my SO when my niece was born the abuse. We talked & decided to not let my SIL know. She wouldn't have believed me anyway. She thought he hung the moon. She would have blamed me & thought I was trying to destroy her family.

Fast forward to almost 4 yrs ago now. I got a phone call 4days after my youngest was born. My mom told me my brother did something bad. He was in jail. I stared having a panic attack. She tried to explain what happened, he molested my niece. I lost it screaming & crying. Telling her I knew what he did. He did it to me.

He is in prison now. I haven't seen or spoken to him since before bubba was born. I will probably never know the whole story on what happened.

I daily think if only I did this. If I did that.

You said your daughters have locks on their doors. This makes it easy to keep him out, at least you think. It makes it easy for him to lock them in too. All it takes is 5 minutes after you go to sleep. The girls deserve to be safe. The son needs more help.

Quoting Booger & Bubba's Mommy:" This is my story. It may be triggering for some, but I think the OP may need the perspective of her girls ... [snip!] ... to lock them in too. All it takes is 5 minutes after you go to sleep. The girls deserve to be safe. The son needs more help."

your story sounds very similar to my moms. I'm so sorry you had to go thru that, I can't imagine  
Luckily for us my uncle never molested his daughter. But he tortured my mother and her sister (my mom longer) for yearsssssssssss.

Sociopath?

Oh my god!

My husband decided years ago that the BM was sociopathic and narcisstic. He has talked about this with me at great length. But I had never considered that my boy could have this problem. I do have a minor on psychology, but still had to look the signs up. He fits so many of the criteria this is beyond frightening. But it could also just be a cluster f of many other problems.

I just read though, that sociopathy does not appear to be genetic. However, that it results from a failure of a child to bond with his mother. It involves lack of empathy for others, impulsive behavior, lack of empathy, inability to feel remorse, self entitlement, compulsive lying, lack of self restraint holy crap.
These are all problems he has.

This really has me freaking out here. But I will let the therapist do the diagnosing. I don't know what could be done if this was his problem.
I can't think like this! He needs me! I love him so much. It hurts me so much to see him struggling so. To see him facing these challenges on his life.


Ugh. I don't even know what to say now. So worried.
I am going to keep up with what I'm doing, seek out some extra curriculars, and continue to show him how much our whole family loves him. How important our love is, and how it is love, and not things or rewards that bring us true joy in life.

Quoting Safka9973:" Sociopath? Oh my god! My husband decided years ago that the BM was sociopathic and narcisstic. He has ... [snip!] ... family loves him. How important our love is, and how it is love, and not things or rewards that bring us true joy in life."

I felt that it was sociopathic tendencies as well. But if he's been in therapy I figured they would have caught that by now.
But I guess if he is not speaking to them, how could they diagnose him?

Is he seeing straight up therapist or actual psychiatrists?

Quoting Safka9973:" Sociopath? Oh my god! My husband decided years ago that the BM was sociopathic and narcisstic. He has ... [snip!] ... family loves him. How important our love is, and how it is love, and not things or rewards that bring us true joy in life."

Now remember sociopath and psychopath are different. I don't know when you went to school for psychology but they have determined there is a difference. Sociopaths tend to be very successful people later in life. Psychopaths tend to be the violent offenders.

Like you said let the therapist do the diagnosing and I don't know your son. Not to mention I am still a student and don't have any degree to be able to diagnose.

All in all it sounds like you are doing a great job trying to help him and your daughters and keep your family safe with out potentially causing more problems.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Safka9973:</b>" My 8 year old had had some problems in the past with some extremely inappropriate sexual behaviors. ... [snip!] ... age. What more can I do? Have any of you ever had similar problems? Please, and thoughts or suggestions would be helpful."</blockquote>




I remember what you've posted about your boy before. And it just gets scarier and scarier.

I would take his behavior as a straight-up threat to my other children and call any and every help-line I could find. This smurf's not okay.

And he doesn't care that he's in the wrong because he'd stop. You and SO talk to him and then it's done and he carries on as before?

Maybe it's time to put the fear of God in him so to speak. I wish I could do more than tell you to get a proffessionals evaluation of him and maybe, just maybe send him to an in-patient program for kids.

He sounds like a predator in the making.

<blockquote><b>Quoting HotMom21ERF:</b>" i mean, he was actually masturbating? idk, its just hard to believe that an 8 yr old could show this behavior."</blockquote>




It happens more than you think. Much more. Boys only four years older than Op's have been charged with violent sexual assault. In my area, an eleven-year-old has been charged with raping a much you get child.

<blockquote><b>Quoting thisunrest:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Safka9973:</b>" My 8 year old had had some problems in the past ... [snip!] ... evaluation of him and maybe, just maybe send him to an in-patient program for kids. He sounds like a predator in the making."</blockquote>




We have sought out every resource we could think of. WE were the ones who called OCS (DFYS whathaveyou), spoke with Alaska groups STAR and AWARE, and therapists. Spoken with pediatrician who referred us to the current therapy group. What else- seen a psychologist, informed teachers and other adult friends and family. We've done a lot of reading and research online on how to safeguard our home and children. We have had the kids watch the videos and we have the books for the kids. We have held family meetings- forum type open discussions as a family. We have a large part of our neighborhood community there offering us support (my husband pretty much spent his life in this neighborhood so he knows EVERYONE. I even have a very close friend who's mother is a social worker and counselor down at the kids Juvie detention center. She ha probably given me more information than anyone on how to keep our family safe. She deals with kids believe it or not having similar issues in their lives. It ha cruelly been a couple of months since I spoke with her last. I think I'm going to call her with an update and let her stew on some advice.

The little things that get my clock turning.

There are always new tactics to try.

Sounds like you have a lot of good resources and a lot of good people willing to help you out and give you support. I'm glad to hear the parents of the neighborhood aren't alienating your son because of his history. That probably would have made it worse. You are so strong. When does he see his therapist next?

Back to weekly visits.
We are extremely fortunate to have such a supportive network of family and friends. They all very understanding and supportive.

Thanks for the encouragement!

No problem. Glad to hear he is back to weekly visits. Hoping to see you post soon that he is doing better again.