re: Hyper sexual behavior

Quoting Safka9973:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kayleigh-louise Moran:</b>" maybe see if he could go and live ... [snip!] ... home safe so that he cannot act out. I want to help him heal so he does not have it in him to act out. Does that make sense?"

I have been around these situations 2 times, and once more, that I was just told happened.
My mom worked for CASA, and her and my dad often fostered kids for awhile. 2 of them who abused their sister, and the other abused their sister and brother. They were removed from the home because their behaviors could not be controlled. As adults the man is in jail and the women is a registered sex offender, they could never outgrow their tendencies.

Then there was my brother. He molested and raped my mother, and molested my moms sister too. They kept him in the house and he was the youngest. But he was a boy so he quickly became bigger than them. He kept doing it, but my mom and sister were able to fight back enough to get away. They sent him to military school at 16. He joined the airforce and and saw a cognitive behavioral specialist, who taught him what to do instead of acting out sexually. It worked, but he eventually filled his desires with drugs and booze. Eventually he stopped that, had 2 normal long term relationships and even had a daughter. Who he NEVER touched, not once. He passed away last year, he was doing so well, a changed man, or at least a better controlled one.

These are just what I have seen, the kids had to be removed to save the other kids from the cycle.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Safka9973:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Cockfetti:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Safka9973:</b>" ... [snip!] ... think this through. I have to get dinner and homework finished up, so I will check up after kids bed to see any more responses."</blockquote>


With a stressful situation, like the one you're currently in, you need all the help you can get. You never know what another parents experiences are. I'm glad you're doing all you can, for all your children. It takes a very strong willed person to do what you're doing. Your children are very lucky.

Just out of curiosity, are his abandonment issues because of his mom? Where is she?

Im trying to imagine myself in your shoes, since I can't relate... But what I think I would do is have him inpatient.. Even for a short amount of time.. I know you said he has abandonment issues, but if you remain very involved and assure him that you're doing the best for him, it will make it easier.. Your daughters are going to be damaged from this if it doesn't get fixed ASAP. And he is just going to get worse without that kind of therapy he needs.. He needs more than just a therapist, it needs to be more intensive.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kayleigh-louise Moran:</b>" Do you moniter him when he goes to bed aswell?Just incase he goes into there room?"</blockquote>




K I have a sec. He has a door chime on his door that goes off every time the door is opened and we have an infrared cam in the hall facing his doorway.

Oh, also, the girls have locks on their doors and he does not.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Ciara♥:</b>" Just out of curiosity, are his abandonment issues because of his mom? Where is she?"</blockquote>




That's definitely what caused it. She's recently back in the picture, but what we hear from him is that she's "there" but not really. Really don't want to open that can of worms. I could go off on lengthy tangent. Regardless of the cause of abandonment issues, they are there and they are severe.

He has been diagnosed as PTSD.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cockfetti:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Safka9973:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Cockfetti:</b>" ... [snip!] ... all you can, for all your children. It takes a very strong willed person to do what you're doing. Your children are very lucky."</blockquote>




Thank you. We try our hardest! Our home life is definitely not what I dreamt of when I became a parent, but you work with what you have, try your hardest, and just give it your all.

Quoting Safka9973:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Ciara♥:</b>" Just out of curiosity, are his abandonment ... [snip!] ... tangent. Regardless of the cause of abandonment issues, they are there and they are severe. He has been diagnosed as PTSD."

poor daughters.
But poor little boy  
He didn't even get a fair chance  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Safka9973:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Cockfetti:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Safka9973:</b>" ... [snip!] ... not what I dreamt of when I became a parent, but you work with what you have, try your hardest, and just give it your all."</blockquote>



You're never given more then you can handle. That's one of the biggest things I've learned in the last 5 years.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Vivian [♥]:</b>" I have been around these situations 2 times, and once more, that I was just told happened. My mom worked ... [snip!] ... a better controlled one. These are just what I have seen, the kids had to be removed to save the other kids from the cycle."</blockquote>




Oh my goodness! Your brother did this? This is terrible! I don't even know what to say.

I have a half brother who lived with me for almost two years when I was five and 6. He molested me and my sister. My sis was two years younger, and has some flashbacks but does not really remember the situation. She has just recently in the past year put two and two together and now understands what happened. It has been very difficult coming to terms with what happened in my childhood, but I feel healed and have even spoken to my brother a few times since it happened. My parents know now, and we have all discussed it together. Now it is just a part of me.

My brother, though. He WAS institutionalized and he is not doing well. In and out of jail, drug problems, I really don't think it helped him any. For this I have a definite fear of inpatient treatment.

Quoting Safka9973:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Vivian [♥]:</b>" I have been around these situations ... [snip!] ... and out of jail, drug problems, I really don't think it helped him any. For this I have a definite fear of inpatient treatment."

My MOM'S brother did.
They kept him in the home. Put bells on all the doors, took his lock away. He started sneaking in through the windows into my mom and her sisters room.
It ended up being a prison for my mom and her sister.
When they sent him to boarding school, something there healed him. Or just taught him better self control that no one else seemed to be able to do.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Vivian [♥]:</b>" My MOM'S brother did. They kept him in the home. Put bells on all the doors, took his lock away. He ... [snip!] ... boarding school, something there healed him. Or just taught him better self control that no one else seemed to be able to do."</blockquote>




This is discouraging to hear on the least. If things progress further than where they are at currently (but prior to reaching the point you're mentioning), we are both willing to entertain other options.

Our windows have blocks in them, thankfully, so this is not something that could happen.

Quoting Rd.:" Creeping his sisters private parts, then masturbating next to them goes WAY beyond curiosity."

Exactly. That is NOT normal. I wouldn't even begin to know how to deal with this. I will say this, I would treat him as a very real threat to my other children. Yes, he's your child too. But that behavior can go beyond just inappropriate. That can be damaging to your girls who aren't old enough to even understand or defend themselves. His mental health would be a top priority but so would my girls mental and physical safety.

Quoting Safka9973:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Vivian [♥]:</b>" My MOM'S brother did. They kept him ... [snip!] ... willing to entertain other options. Our windows have blocks in them, thankfully, so this is not something that could happen."

I don't want to scare you. And I know you guys aren't denying his behavior. I just hope something changes with him before it's too late for your girls  

Quoting Vivian [♥]:" I don't want to scare you. And I know you guys aren't denying his behavior. I just hope something changes with him before it's too late for your girls  "