Temporary break

So my boyfriend was showing me engagement rings online two weeks ago, and said sometime in jan (this month) he would be buying one. We've been in a committed relationship for over 6 months, both in our late 20s, both have careers an our own homes. We know we want to be married to eachother , and have children someday. I have a daughter. From a previous marriage, her biological father something happend with him so she doesn't have anyone. My boyfriend grew close to her, and we talked about adoption in the future with her. OK, my boyfriend wants to take a "temporary break" now, to learn how to be on his own? And to be a better companion for me, focus on work, etc. he doesn't want either of us to see anybody , still talk to eachother, still see eachother, but not have that bf/gf title right now. And then he wants to try again at the relationship. So being the adult I am, I examined it making sure it wasn't some games he was playing and agreed to it. It seemed fair enough. I agree we need time. I think it's healthy to Do things for yourself first. My question is: is this some sort of thing he's going through pre proposing?! All comments welcome, just please no rude or smart ones. I didn't put this on here to gain drama. I have a baby gaga account, and have forgotten the login so I had to make a new one, but I've spent many years on here with good women, when I was married before and we were TTC. I am not trying to conceive at the moment, my choices are to wait till marriage. But I thought this would be a good place to put this, seeing as a lot of smart women dwell here. I'm not asking for facts, just opinions. Thank you all! Hannah

I'm not a big believer in breaks. It sounds like he got cold feet and freaked out to me. You can try the break but I wouldn't hold my breath for the proposal. I'd only give it a set amount of time before I stopped seeing him altogether and moved on with my life. I hope he just temporarily lost his mind and decides he's a man soon.

Seems suspicious to me honestly. What is the label of bf gf harm if you're both still going to see each other and not be with other people?

Yeah, After thinking about it on my own for a bit, I agree about what's the harm in the title!

He says it's the "attachment" to another person that he wants to be without for a bit. He thinks he can work on things to strengthen our relationship better that way.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Hannah mommy:</b>" He says it's the "attachment" to another person that he wants to be without for a bit. He thinks he can work on things to strengthen our relationship better that way."</blockquote>




I'm sorry but that is a big steamy pile of BS. I think he just got scared of.being engaged and is flaking out. Distancing himself emotionally

Quoting Hannah mommy:" He says it's the "attachment" to another person that he wants to be without for a bit. He thinks he can work on things to strengthen our relationship better that way."

If he wants to learn to be on his own, I don't see how continuing to talk and see each other is going to help. And the idea of not being with other people.....that's still 'dating' to me.
If he wants to be on his own for a bit, you should have that option too. Whether casually or seriously.

<blockquote><b>Quoting :*:CHRiSTiNe:*::</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Hannah mommy:</b>" He says it's the "attachment" to another ... [snip!] ... that is a big steamy pile of BS. I think he just got scared of.being engaged and is flaking out. Distancing himself emotionally"</blockquote>



I think so too. So what now? Ask him? And pirate hooker... He told me we both are being on our own

Quoting Hannah mommy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting :*:CHRiSTiNe:*::</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Hannah ... [snip!] ... I think so too. So what now? Ask him? And pirate hooker... He told me we both are being on our own"

But not see anyone else>
How do you feel about all this? Honestly.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Pirate Hooker {BAMW}:</b>" But not see anyone else> How do you feel about all this? Honestly."</blockquote>



I agree on that part, I don't want to see anyone, neither does he. I could bring myself to even flirt with someone else, never felt this way before. And neither can he. And he said if he did go out with other girls it would defeat the purpose of what he was trying to do right now. And he said plus he wouldn't do me that way because he has everything he needs and there is nothing more for him, that I'm it so he doesn't need to look any longer. Honestly, I think he's afraid of committing , afraid of getting engaged, and that's why he wants me in his life like we are together but not the title because the title verifys definite commitment. ? Ya know.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Hannah mommy:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Pirate Hooker {BAMW}:</b>" But not see anyone else> How ... [snip!] ... why he wants me in his life like we are together but not the title because the title verifys definite commitment. ? Ya know."</blockquote>

I dated a guy for years that couldn't give me a title. We didn't see other people. It sucks and I wouldn't do it again. Give yourself a time frame that everything has to happen by or you walk. I wasted 3 years on my non committer. It was the worst breakup I've ever been thru when it finally ended.

It does sound like he just got scared because of the commitment he will be making, but i've always looked at "breaks" as a way to get with other people and not worry about cheating. you don't have to be seeing someone to randomly have a one night stand. i've never heard of taking a break before a proposal, It all just sounds suspicious to me.

Quoting Hannah mommy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Pirate Hooker {BAMW}:</b>" But not see anyone else> How ... [snip!] ... why he wants me in his life like we are together but not the title because the title verifys definite commitment. ? Ya know."

If he has everything he needs, why the break then?
He's afraid of the commitment.
Sit him down and talk to him about it all. You said you've been together 6 mos? You may need more time together before marriage comes into the picture.
DH and I were dating 8 mos before he proposed...it was another 3 years before we got married.

I agree with pirate mommy. Although , sometimes men need a break before popping the big question. Because they realize they will never have that single title again. Sounds like he just wanted to try it out one last time, but without seeing other people and him still acting like you all are together it's obviously he loves you deeply, he's just struggling with the big WE and needed some time to figure things out! If you love him, don't give up on him, sounds like he's gave you a title the whole time, and already comitted to YOU, to go a few weeks without the title, is not that big of deal! If you all are together still but without a title sounds like he just wants to give single title one last shot before we title permantley, I'm guessing he's never been married before and he's still young , a lot of men spaz out over the thought of a big commitment like that! I wouldn't be surprised if he came to you with a big ring and those four words sometimes in the near future! Men can behave weird when it comes to marriage or commitment. They get distant, overly affectionate, act so weird you might think they are cheating before the big proposing, although taking a break without the title is hmmm rare, it sounds like a possibility. Every lady on here who posted should read signs he's about to propose and see what I mean! Good luck "Hannah".