I feel like they totally dropped the ball

Today, and Jacob got to suffer from it.

I get a phone call at 3:40.

"Yes, I've just been radioed to inform you that you may have to come and get Jacob from school. They can't get him on the bus."

Oh great, fine, they'll call me back if they need me, I knew this was going to happen because his normal special ed teacher was sick with the flu today.

They immediately phone to get their ASAP. Yeah well, I don't have ASAP, I have 2 kids that you just wanted me to get ready in 2 minutes, and one just pooped EVERYWHERE, it's not going to happen, since I haven't gotten a phone call all day, I totally think they're overexaggerating this and giving him his way for a free ride home.

I get to the school, he's not in the office, he's not in the vice principal's office, he's not even in the school psych's office.

Oh GOD this is BAD.

And then I hear the screaming coming from the special ed room. Yep, that's MY KID in there.

I get in there and he's thrashing around, holding onto a desk, he does not want to leave school. for him to get this bad, it's been going on a while. Before I can even ask what happened the principal says, "I'm going to have to suspend him tomorrow, he left some pretty good welts on one of the teachers"

Me now I'm getting pissed, I know that once I get the story this could of possibly been avoided. So I just snap, "Don't worry he wasn't coming tomorrow anyways." Cause he's not he has a psych appt.

So I drag him out in the hall, where I'm sitting on him because he's not calming down and I know this will work, it's been a long time since I've really had to hold him down and I finally snap.

"WHAT HAPPENED TODAY TO CAUSE THIS?!?!?" Ok I didn't really yell it but it felt like it I was having to shout over him.

And they tell me. It started at lunch. It sounds like his routine was turned upside down, he believes that he ate lunch at the wrong time, not to mention the vice principal took him to lunch, which I don't think he normally does. Then Jacob refused to eat said lunch, so they skipped lunch and decided to go to recess, and then Jacob flips out. He knows something is off, he thinks he is supposed to have recess first then lunch.

And once he's on something, he's on it till he calms down. And he didn't calm down. Instead he decides he's ready for lunch, but there is no lunch, this further upsets him, and he's apparently flipping out off and on all afternoon.

Now I'm beyond pissed, "Why did no one call me?!?!"

And there answer, "We thought he would calm down."

And then he started attacking the teachers and the students, he refused to get on the bus which further made him go to far because now he's afraid he won't be able to earn points to get a double treat on Friday. He's officially lost it, and so have I.

This could have been avoided if I would have been called, what give the principal and vice principal the say to calm down a child they only work with occasionally? Especially one in the special needs room? WTF?

Anyways, it took us an hour, and I had to drag him kicking and screaming to the car.

And I just feel bad for him. He had to go through all that and I wasn't even notified.

Poor guy, he's calming down now. and I've already texted the special needs teacher informing her that he was suspended.

The worst part? If tomorrow is a snow day, he'll be suspended through Wednesday, which may make this worse.

I'd be livid too & all over the principal & vice principal for not notifying you immediately

What the smurf man.... I would be flipping the hell out.  

Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:" I'd be livid too & all over the principal & vice principal for not notifying you immediately"

Usually it's the SN teacher, she has ways to cope with him there to contain the problem.
Since she wasn't there and I wasn't notified, I was and am pretty pissed off right now.

The whole situation could have been avoided. As the vice principal, does he not know that turning his routine upside down is a "trigger''? He basically instigated the whole thing. Poor jacob  

Wtf is suspension going to teach him?

Quoting .Solange.:" The whole situation could have been avoided. As the vice principal, does he not know that turning his ... [snip!] ... upside down is a "trigger''? He basically instigated the whole thing. Poor jacob   Wtf is suspension going to teach him?"

That is what I was thinking...

that sucks. I would be pissed they didn't call earlier.. Maybe a lot of this could of been avoided and so could the suspension

poor guy, he's seems to been doing pretty well lately

Is it in his IEP and the principles have been told that you must be notified immediately? I just know that it's not standard procedure to call right away unless that is what the parents know needs to happen and it's in the IeP.

It does sound terrible, but it really sounds like they did not mean any harm and that there is some sort of miscommunication

Quoting Buzz and Almond Joys momm:" Is it in his IEP and the principles have been told that you must be notified immediately? I just know ... [snip!] ... It does sound terrible, but it really sounds like they did not mean any harm and that there is some sort of miscommunication"

It's not standard procedure anymore because he was using it to manipulate them into me taking him home.

but I think it's common sense that if they can't control him and the normal teacher isn't there, that I should have been notified. They know they can call me at any time and I'll attempt to talk him down or defer the situation.

He already knew she wasn't going to be there today, and he had the option to stay home but he said he wanted to try school.

And ETA: This clearly wasn't manipulation. Last time he got this bad, the teacher will ride home with him, since she was sick she wasn't able to "force" him to stay at school. Which should of been the clue for the principal that she was in over her head. The vice principal works with the SN kids often because he's the main male being in the school. And the SN kids respond well with him.

Quoting .Solange.:" The whole situation could have been avoided. As the vice principal, does he not know that turning his ... [snip!] ... upside down is a "trigger''? He basically instigated the whole thing. Poor jacob   Wtf is suspension going to teach him?"

I don't know for sure if they did change his routine, just that Jacob thought they were changing things on him, causing the flip out.

And for everyone else wondering.

Suspension is something he's used prior as a manipulative tool, that he knows if he harms himself or others enough to make them bleed he'll be sent home, which is why the SN teacher has devised a plan where he's forced to stay at school.

Obviously how bad his outburst got, it was purely not manipulative, and far more psychological, he really believes what he thinks to be right and something obviously did not happen according to his plan.

He is seeing a psych tomorrow for an intake, which is currently about his new violent outburst, last time he almost split his head open.

I also am going to be in talks with his teacher to devise a plan for when she's sick when is the appropriate time to call me. She'll call me all the time, but I don't think they thought to do that.

<blockquote><b>Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:</b>" It's not standard procedure anymore because he was using it to manipulate them into me taking him home. ... [snip!] ... principal works with the SN kids often because he's the main male being in the school. And the SN kids respond well with him."</blockquote>




They really should have called, but they have to go by IEP first then standard and then use their best judgement. Maybe they really thought they could calm him down. They may have thought it was manipulation. But whatever the reason it happened and they didn't. The only thing to keep it from happening again is adding it to his IEP and stating "if does not calm down in "said" time call mother immediately."

I really donunderstand your frustration. I honestly do. I am a SN mom as well and also a SN teacher. I see both sides and feel for both sides. Neither is any easy side and the best thing is To use this as a learning experience. Call and ask if on the day he is suspended ask to go in and talk with the principle and those in the situation. Also it may be worth it to look into a behavioral IEP so that in situations like this he can not be suspended but do like in school suspension or whatever you all come up with.

How is he doing now?

Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:" And for everyone else wondering. Suspension is something he's used prior as a manipulative tool, that ... [snip!] ... she's sick when is the appropriate time to call me. She'll call me all the time, but I don't think they thought to do that."

  I hope you get things settled. I would totally lose my head if I went though any of what you are going through with your son.

Quoting Buzz and Almond Joys momm:" <blockquote><b>Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:</b>" It's not standard procedure anymore ... [snip!] ... like this he can not be suspended but do like in school suspension or whatever you all come up with. How is he doing now?"

It's supposed to say in the IEP to call me when he can't calm down. The SN teacher doesn't always change it but rather just changes her plan of attack? If that makes any sense. Apparently they can put in ammendments or something like that but they can only truly change it once a year on the anniversary.

At least that's my understanding here.

Regardless too of what the IEP says, suspending him is obviously not in the IEP, and if he was harming himself and physically harming others, I should have been notified before the end of school day in hopes to defer the situation.

I see where they're coming from too, I really do, but again, if he was harming himself and others to a point where they couldn't calm him down, I should have notified and they know that, it's supposed to say that in the IEP, I think they just thought they could handle it themselves.

Quoting Yurvette [♥]:"   I hope you get things settled. I would totally lose my head if I went though any of what you are going through with your son. "

Usually the SN teacher is so much better about handling things, notifying me. She knows to call me, if he gets to crazy I'll get a text warning me that he's acting out. She knows to notify me. In fact I pretty much made the whole school aware and everyone in charge, but they never do.