I'm feeling really sad.

I have been having relationship problems for a while. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 1/2 years and we have a 3 year old son. Things got weird around the 2nd year for me. I suddenly got really confused. Shortly after that i got pregnant and i felt happy with us again... Then around the time that my son turned 2 it got bad again... I have been confused over us for a very long time and i think now is the time to change it. I do love him very much, and some days i feel like we can work and i'm happy with us but he gets in these depressing moods that just bring me down and make me remember why im so confused. I dont want to live like this anymore. I was watching a movie yesterday... kind of a sappy love story and it got to me. I starting crying and became miserable because i know i dont have the relationship i wish i had. There's no spark anymore, some days we dont even touch each other or talk... I am so afraid to just walk away but i think that have too... even at my happiest i get that doubt in the back of my head. I need to figure out what to do and how to approach this... someone whos gone through something similar would be great. Thanks!

If you love him get him some help or try talking deeply with him. Dont be a bitch about it he doesnt seem like an smurf he must be depressed for a reason. Gl dont give up just yet.

I go through this too. It takes a lot of work on both parts to keep that spark alive. You two need to talk about what each of you want from each other and make a plan for what you will both do. If he loves you he should be willing to do this. Sometimes we get comfortable and forget to out in the work we should to keep it alive.

Idk if you're religious but a lot more of my advice comes from that perspective if you're interested. If not that's fine.

I'd first get yourself into individual counseling. I can't tell you what you should do based on this little info but I can tell you that if he is a decent person & you love him, it's worth sorting out some of this before moving on your separate ways. No relationship is great all the time. Everyone gets into ruts here & there...so it would be worth your time to talk this through with someone who can better help you figure out if this is "I can't do this anymore" or if it is "I need to change some things here & make this actually work".

Quoting WhY bOtHeR:" If you love him get him some help or try talking deeply with him. Dont be a bitch about it he doesnt seem like an smurf he must be depressed for a reason. Gl dont give up just yet."

He doesnt try with his life... he wont do better for our family knowing we are struggling. i got a better job and keep looking for a second job and he wont be the one to do it for us. He just settles for what we have but wont try for more. He gets in these moods and takes it out on us... He always acts like everything i do is wrong or never good enough... He never wants to have sex and it we do hes so lazy and it sucks for me... idk so much bothers me

Quoting lolajessup:" I go through this too. It takes a lot of work on both parts to keep that spark alive. You two need to ... [snip!] ... Idk if you're religious but a lot more of my advice comes from that perspective if you're interested. If not that's fine."

The thing is, He wont talk to me about it... i try too and it ends up being something we just get over and weeks or months later comes up again.

Quoting justanothamotha:" I'd first get yourself into individual counseling. I can't tell you what you should do based on this ... [snip!] ... figure out if this is "I can't do this anymore" or if it is "I need to change some things here & make this actually work"."

Its easier said then done... its been a battle for so long that i dont know if its worth it anymore... I sometimes feel like we jsut arent right for each other, but walking away is so hard for me.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Gavin's Mommyyy:</b>" He doesnt try with his life... he wont do better for our family knowing we are struggling. i got a better ... [snip!] ... wrong or never good enough... He never wants to have sex and it we do hes so lazy and it sucks for me... idk so much bothers me"</blockquote>


I'd definitely get into counseling to sort out some of these issues.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Gavin's Mommyyy:</b>" The thing is, He wont talk to me about it... i try too and it ends up being something we just get over and weeks or months later comes up again. "</blockquote>


We've done the same things. This last time I had to do skmething drastic. I told him it was the last straw and I was done. It shocked him into reality and made him realize he was losing me for real. That has helped a lot. He is finally trying again.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Gavin's Mommyyy:</b>" He doesnt try with his life... he wont ... [snip!] ... for me... idk so much bothers me"</blockquote> I'd definitely get into counseling to sort out some of these issues."

weve tried... its so hard to explain everything on here... but i have too many doubts all the time... even when I'm happy with us its there in my head... I dont know if that would work again... my god i dont know what to do!!! Would i be happier if we broke up? should we fix this?? I cant live a whole life like this... i want to feel loved and appreciated all the time. If i just settle for this, later in life i will regret it, and i will have too many what if's in my head. idk  

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Gavin's Mommyyy:</b>" The thing is, He wont talk to me about ... [snip!] ... It shocked him into reality and made him realize he was losing me for real. That has helped a lot. He is finally trying again."

what did u do that scared him?? did u actually leave?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Gavin's Mommyyy:</b>" He doesnt try with his life... he wont do better for our family knowing we are struggling. i got a better ... [snip!] ... wrong or never good enough... He never wants to have sex and it we do hes so lazy and it sucks for me... idk so much bothers me"</blockquote>



Put your foot down and lay your cards down explain how you are feeling and that you cant keep feeling this way that is not only affecting him but you as well. Talk talk talk and ask him questions. Try try try. Get to the bottom of it.

Quoting WhY bOtHeR:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Gavin's Mommyyy:</b>" He doesnt try with his life... he wont ... [snip!] ... way that is not only affecting him but you as well. Talk talk talk and ask him questions. Try try try. Get to the bottom of it."

I need to stop giving in and just say this is it... Until you decide to try with us, i will not be anything to you but the mother of your child... i cant move out but i just wont talk to him.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Gavin's Mommyyy:</b>" what did u do that scared him?? did u actually leave?"</blockquote>

Well I'm in the hospital so it kind of made it easier cause
I'm not in the house. But I just said I'm done. I can't live like this. I'm
Not happy. He kept begging me not to do this he loved me blah blah. I said well maybe were not meant to be. This is what I need and if that's not you that's fine. There's somebody out there who has different needs tht he could be perfect for. And he said he doesn't want anyone else and he's been working very hard since to be the guy I need. I just said I couldn't do it. I couldn't live life this unhappy. So that put the ball in his court. If he wanted to be with me he'd do it. If not then we'd agree to go our separate ways on good terms. But he's trying since he wants to be with me. Idk obviously what your SO would do, but he may need a reality check. I think they dont take us seriously.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Gavin's Mommyyy:</b>" I need to stop giving in and just say this is it... Until you decide to try with us, i will not be anything to you but the mother of your child... i cant move out but i just wont talk to him."</blockquote>




Hmm sound like you mean what you say and sound confident. Dont give up just yet better yet dont be a quitter!