frustrated.. need to vent. (very long)

tonight i found myself craving a cigarette quite badly. (don't worry, i didn't have one). what brought this on? recently my fiance and i lost our house and have had to move back in with our parents for a few weeks until we find a new place. my mother earlier this evening informed me that since i'm "too lazy to work" (i have a doctors note putting me off work until the end of my pregnancy as my membrane tore at 21 weeks) that in 2 days i will have to get not only myself up, but my 3 year old daughter as well, at 5 in the morning to go pick up my 4 year old niece because she will now be living with us as well for at least the next 2 months since my brother has decided to go work on the other side of the country. now, it's exhausting enough as it is being almost 8 months pregnant, plus i already have to take care of a 3 year old, but now i'm also going to have to take care of a 4 year old too and was not even informed of it until 2 days before hand because "i have no choice in the matter". as if that's not bad enough my mother only has one spare bed, which will be the girls bed so i'm being forced to sleep on the couch. now this is going to sound really horrible, and i don't want it to but it is the truth. my niece has developed quite the bad attitude and i really don't want my daughter picking up on it or getting overly stressed because of it. but.. here's the real kicker... my mother had also decided (without talking to me of course) that if my brother isn't home by the time i move out that my niece will also be going to live with me as she can't watch her because she has to work (understandable) and my very bratty 18 year old step sister can't watch her because she just doesn't want to (wtf??) so without even asking me it's been decided that not only will i have to watch both of them while i'm here, which leaves me absolutely ZERO opportunity to spend any time with my fiance before our daughter is born, but my niece will also be moving in with me after my baby is born, simply because "i don't have a choice". i know this is really long and pointless but i am so pissed off right now and i really needed to vent. if you've made it this far thanks for reading.

That sounds like a smurffy situation, however as far as her moving in with you goes you actually do have a choice. She's not your child or your responsibility if your mother volunteered to take her while your brother moved that's her problem not yours.

Wtf. No. Just no to all of it. Are you supposed to be on bed rest? How soon can you get your own place? That is ridiculous.

That all sounds really eventful. And I'm sorry everything is the way it is at the moment. However, you can say NO to having her move with you when you move. You can also not inform them until two days before move out, as it is not your responsibilty and then you won't have to listen to it either. Your mom or brother can put her in daycare. That's what child care is for.

agreed.

Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:" That all sounds really eventful. And I'm sorry everything is the way it is at the moment. However, you ... [snip!] ... and then you won't have to listen to it either. Your mom or brother can put her in daycare. That's what child care is for."

   

Your mother volunteered to take her, not you. You can not be expected to provide not only emotional but financial support for a child thats not yours. If you dont want to take her with you when you go, then dont. You've got enough on your plate.

Screw that. Just no. I don't have a doctors note, and I don't work. That doesn't make me too lazy to get a job, and with a note that definitely does not make you lazy. And no, to the other child. My SO wouldn't allow it, with having a new born. You need to spend as much time with that baby as possible, and your three year old as well. My SO's son has just as bad an attitude, and I honestly this is terrible he's four and I cannot stand him sometimes I completely understand not want her to pick that up, I told SO that attitude needed to be fixed before our daughter has the opportunity to learn from him.

Just no, to all of that. She shouldn't be putting stress on you. And don't feel bad about the cigarettes craving. I literally dream about them, and wake up sighing in relief that I didn't actually go smoke the pack I dreamed about.

Good luck get out of the ASAP and it's legally not your problem, to take that little girl, and I don't think anyone will let her go homeless. That's what childcare is for. With a new baby on the way and obviously having financial issues. Just no.