WWYD?

My sister is with an absolutely horrible excuse for a "man."

They were together for like a year and got engaged very early on, we gave him the benefit of the doubt at this point. He just seemed shy because it was like there was a wall between him and everyone else. After a while we started noticing little things like how he'd suggest what my sister be doing and she would pretty much just jump straight to it. When my niece was being difficult about dinner one night he threw it at her and then kicked her in the legs and stormed off. Then after a while they stopped visiting, we'd never hear from her and seeing her kids was a rarity at best.

A few months later there was some kind of trouble and she moved home and brought the kids with her. So they stayed at our mum's for 6 months, she never contributed to rent or anything and would disappear with no warning for days at a time, then one day her car breaks down, he brings her home and it seems that it's back on. She stayed at home for a few months and then she's suddenly moving out with no thanks.

Fast forward a few weeks and she's 10 weeks pregnant: hence the moving out. She didn't want my mum to know.

So we continue to when the baby was born, none of us had seen her since May, despite trying to contact her. Then she has the baby, none of us have been told which hospital, she won't tell us where she lives, she's constantly ranting on Facebook about how she hates how things are and wishes it would change. It's not our fault is it?

We've met the new baby once and it was because we happened to walk into the same shop on the same day at the same time. That was when he was about 10 weeks old and well before Christmas.

My sister's ex has started talking to us more now because he also gets a scary vibe from the guy she's with and he's been bringing the kids over every few weeks when he has time. The last time my mum saw them, my niece had bruises up her arms and she asked where they were from. She told her that my sister's partner had hit her repeatedly with a wooden spoon while mummy was working. Then my nephew said that he told him not to hit his sister so he smacked him, he didn't cry and then he slapped him another two times because it "didn't hurt him enough."


What do we do about this? I don't want him having access to my niece and nephew anymore but that also means my sister won't either. She apparently already hates my family enough for no reason, I don't want her to think she has one if we do something about this  

Call CPS. Immediately....

honestly all you can really do is what you know.. call CPS..

Call CPS and report it

Quoting Bettinas:" My sister is with an absolutely horrible excuse for a "man." They were together for like a year and ... [snip!] ... apparently already hates my family enough for no reason, I don't want her to think she has one if we do something about this  "

You have to call CPS. And stop talking so badly about your sister, I can tell by what you wrote on here you aren't being very understanding. You do realize she's probably ashamed and feels stupid, guilty and embarrassed. Not to mention he likely isolates her from everyone.

Call CPS and the police!

Quoting Amαndα ♕:" You have to call CPS. And stop talking so badly about your sister, I can tell by what you wrote on ... [snip!] ... realize she's probably ashamed and feels stupid, guilty and embarrassed. Not to mention he likely isolates her from everyone. "

Not to mention she said the sister moved back in so the mother wouldn't find out she was 10 weeks pregnant. She was probably scared, and obviously ashamed if she was hiding it. She probably felt like she had no choice.

Having been in an abusive situation, I can tell you I have heard this story all too often. First thing first, call CPS. If you know about it (which clearly you do) and you don't report it, you can be charged with child endangerment. 2nd, next time the dad brings the kids over, call the police to report the marks. They will immediately remove all children from the home until they can PROVE it to be a safe environment. Don't hesitate... Period. Abuse never gets better it only gets worse. If she hates you, then so be it, but don't let those babies get hurt. She can get over it, it's do their safety

When I went through the battered women's shelter, I met a lot of women with this situation. Most women only ended up in shelter because the injuries landed them &/or their kinds in the hospital... And even then 70% go back to their abusers because they feel like they can't do it on their own. My ex husband would hit me and push me, and I made excuses for him... And then he shook our son. He suffered some brain damage Nd is now autistic with several developmental delays. I never thought he would do such a thing... Most women don't see it for what it is. Until she sees it, it's your job to protect them 1) because you know about it and 2) they are family.

PM if you have questions

Quoting Amαndα ♕:" You have to call CPS. And stop talking so badly about your sister, I can tell by what you wrote on ... [snip!] ... realize she's probably ashamed and feels stupid, guilty and embarrassed. Not to mention he likely isolates her from everyone. "

I've asked whether she would like to come over and she's said yes. But she also says she doesn't want to come when he isn't welcome.

That's not going to change so I don't know what to do. I don't want someone who has had aggressive verbal outbursts toward my family in my house, and I know my mum doesn't... So I can't help that.

We all made it very clear that none of us liked him while they weren't together... That was before we knew about him abusing the kids. And now that they've started telling us what he's doing (I'm pretty sure they haven't told their father because he would definitely not be letting my sister have partial custody if he did) we just hate him even more.

and people believe if they get in the middle of family issues it will cause even more.. i kept telling people my sister's husband would touch me and be very inappropriate with me but since i was 14-16 i must of asked for it.. after alot of sexual abuse things in my past and being 5150 and having a shrink tell my parents they finally believed me.. i kept telling people he would hurt the girls (his daughters) but the drs would always just say its uti's from bubble baths etc.. my family even said "oh he wouldnt hurt a kid he likes them in their teens not babies and children.. "

sure enough finally the oldest told the school he was hitting and molesting her and people were so shocked

you want to prevent any type of abuse before it gets worse.. you will blame your self trust me i did.. and your sister is probally ashamed and blames her self and is scared ot ask for help.. my mom didnt say anything about us being beaten because she honestly was so dependent on him and thought it would only make it worse..

you need to help the kids.. if she doesnt want help for her self you cant force your sister to get help but you can atleast try for the kids..

Yup CPS needs to be involved. Maybe they can make her see that her kids are more important than this piece of smurf. Cause they WILL give her the chance to remove him from the equation usually. The "mothers" don't always make the right choice. But they will usually try to find a way for family to take the children.

Another question:


His family is quite wealthy and if my sister were to have her children taken from her by her ex, we suspect that her current partner's family will have the baby taken from her too. If it can be proven that her baby's father was abusing her other children, does he have a chance to take him from her? I just have this feeling that since he has the son he wanted and she'll probably hate him for being the reason she can't see her children, she'll want to leave but he'll take the baby and make it legal. He's very vindictive...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Bettinas:</b>" Another question: His family is quite wealthy and if my sister were to have her children taken from ... [snip!] ... the reason she can't see her children, she'll want to leave but he'll take the baby and make it legal. He's very vindictive... "</blockquote>


Not if CPS gets involved now and it's shown that he is abusive. He will have no chance in hell at that... Money talks, but not that much

Quoting Bettinas:" I've asked whether she would like to come over and she's said yes. But she also says she doesn't want ... [snip!] ... their father because he would definitely not be letting my sister have partial custody if he did) we just hate him even more. "

Ohh I would def call the children's father if he is involved in their lives, he needs to know what is going on with his children!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Unique Mama:</b>" Ohh I would def call the children's father if he is involved in their lives, he needs to know what is going on with his children!"</blockquote>


This!!!