Panicking for no reason *autism*
posted 13th Jan
I'm sitting here panicking and crying like an smurf for no reason.
I'm nearly hyperventilating for absolutely zero cause, just making myself panic. LO's developmental guy thinks that he may have autism, so DH and I decided to make an appointment for next week (It's the soonest we can possibly do it, explain later) to talk to his Pediatrician. I got in touch with a good friend who has an autistic son and went over tonight, and she explained how she's had a suspicion LO has autism after she'd been around him for a while, and explained the signs he showed that her own son did around that age.
She gave me links to good informational websites, advised me to stay away from google, just gave me the run down. I however have allowed myself to get in a panic thinking about the future. He's already in speech therapy, he's been in developmental therapies since he was 8 months old. They're switching him to a speech therapist that deals exclusively with autistic children because he's had no real progress.
I'm thinking stupid smurf I shouldn't. Did I cause it? Is it something I did? Are the kids in school going to tear him to shreds? Kids are dicks, can I rely on the teachers to make sure he's not bullied? What if someone bullies my son?
I know autistic children can just as easily grow up and be successful adults and if I work with the doctors and work with him that he can just as easily go to college and still do all the things I hoped he could, but I don't want my baby to struggle. I see him struggle now in speech therapy and it breaks my heart, I don't want to see him struggle for the rest of his life. I want to protect him, I want to make his life better than okay and I'm just panicking.
There's just so much going on in my life right now that I think I'm just having a smurfing panic attack. I have court tomorrow with BD for C/S, I'm getting my tubes tied Friday, LO has a speech/audio evaluation Friday, I'm just mad at myself because I can't calm down to top it off. My chest hurts, I can't breathe, I know I need to calm down, I'm really attempting to. Please someone tell me I'm being irrational, he'll be fine in school and I won't have to see my baby, my reason for living hurt if this is what's going on. I'd love to hear success or inspirational stories, I think it would calm me.
posted 14th Jan
Yep you need to relax. If he has autism you crying isn't going to change that. It isn't a death sentence, and quite frankly, I enjoy my kid with Autism quite a lot. Yes it is a lot of work, and emotionally and physically exhausting, but the progress they make seems to really have a huge wow factor. There is lots of help for autism now-make friends learn lots, educate yourself and just go along for the journey. My son mad no progress for over a year and a half, and now he is mastering the I PAD the computer, smiling at us. Lots of hard work but so worth it.quote